I wore the earrings you
gave me
that used to be
  yours

in the photos I took that
you'd never see

and I had my hair pushed
back
the way that you used to
before you ceased to
be

I leaned against the hills
that night
chilly in the breeze

and thought about
your bony hands
  and all the memories

I've thought often
about
    the eye of the
storm -

the thunderous
  consumption that cold does
to
   warm

The way that the
   dust has a
    longing to fly

when the touching
of temperature
orchestrates
the
sky

I've thought often
about
how two things
come together

be it people
  or colors,

    uncontrollable
weather

The way that what's
   different will
    find its extreme

Pinnacle moments
are the day thoughts
I dream.

There are glimpses of
gold when
your shades are
rose-tinted
and when
the sting
of the past
is a feeling that's
       fading

and the thought of
next winter's
from mildew to
Emerald
and December's
devil
is
no longer
haunting

When there are curtains
of gold to be
draped all around
and suddenly sadness
is a song, not a
sound

and somewhere hums a
hope that
there's more we
can't see

there's a casket of
petals where
grief used to be

I'll be some
              where tomorrow

and the sky will change to
grey

and even if I close my eyes
the thoughts won't go
    away

and even when I
   fall asleep -
at the end of
every
    day

I'll keep waiting for
  tomorrow
and I'll be
  stuck in
         today.

I can't stop
thinking of
the things that
make me happy
like

Portugal and carousels
and
moving on
after
you
    died.

Palm leaves stretching
out their
arms
to reach a sea-blue
sky

I relate to reaching
up
and trying to  
get high

Head back like
a swan or
crane,
I'm done being
complacent

I am ready to
be bigger now

I'm running out of
patience.

After all of the hard
feelings
and after the summer of
fires.
After the forests had fallen
apart
and after I forgot
desire

After the winter in
whiskey
and after the stars
hid from dawn
after 3 years ago when you
died
I think I have finally
moved
    on.