Sarah

Sarah Jan 2016

S.

Someday,
   someone
    somewhere
won't
f a l
       l

in love with me-

they'll look down as they step
sensing there's no
step
and still sink down
any
     w a
           y

Someday,
  someone
   s
o    m
   e     w  h
   e     r        e

won't

f
a
l
l

in
lo
ve

with m
            e

Sarah Jan 2016

Church Bell.

It never stops raining
and it's never a shade that
isn't grey
the wrought-iron
gates are
always icy
and the pavement is always
the same

Tonight the church bell's ringing the hour. It's 7 and you're spewing
poetry.

And tonight's the night I find out
you might leave me
and I won't have a chance
to go

I'm so broken hearted and
only the Church Bell knows.

Sarah Jan 2016

After Ten.

I'm not sure what I'm
doing
where I'm going with this-
when it's nightfall and I
really should be
going to
bed now,
I have an early morning,
early morning rush-hour
traffic and you need
the car after 10

It's always after 10 with you,
whatever that means,
you know what that means

I'm so mad about you
and if after 10
you slink away
you decide to chase your dreams
(****- you know I hope you
do)
just let me follow
behind you

this
poetry.
art.
the godforsaken life we chose
can happen anywhere

but life without you
in rainy Portland traffic
without you

no after-tens with
you?

I can't stand the thought

There really is something worse
than being alone.

Sarah Jan 2016

The Corral.

Whether I open my mouth and
doves fly out
or broken beetles,
black as
ink,
whether you hear it as a
song or as a
woe
as a cage being open &
40 wings flying out

I'll open my mouth and let it out
and you'll be there to listen,
or to cry,
and I'll finally be able to tell you
show you
the animals
that stir in me

you can watch them fly by-
be haunted by their
blur
or you can slow yourself
pace yourself
hear yourself
watching a telltale herd

Whether you take it as a song
or as a woe
at least the corral will be
unleashed and
you will finally
know.

Sarah Jan 2016

Disappointment

I am learning
to dance with
disappointment
because she always
meets me on the
floor

when lovers leave
like lovers leave
when I only wanted
more

a dance with disappointment
always stepping on my toes
disappointment always stays
and lovers always go.

Sarah Jan 2016

What I Know

I hate to be a bother
but I have to tell
what
I know

it's spilling out of
every facet that I
have, jackpot,
jackpot,
I've hit a jackpot.

If you want to know,
if you want to know
the reality of
love

it's this:

it's that when
there's nothing
left
and when there's everything left
too
when your cry is holy
and then when
it's broken
When it's needing
& when it wants to be
left
alone

no matter what you do
where you do
when you do-

you are enough,

and that is everything I know
for sure
and want to keep on
learning.

Sarah Jan 2016

You Love Me.

I never wanted to hear it
like I do now
in a moment of
sitting up in bed
when I know
I should be
asleep

Tell me you love me.
Tell me you love me because

I'm desperate

I'm desperately needing you
and feeling fulfilled
in the pain

Tell me you love and
I'll do the same