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Sarah Sep 2015
I bought a coffee
cup for a quarter
today,
with an old
automobile
and a
crack on the side-

and three, old,
weathered
books
about the way
someone else
sees life.

I found
five records.
Records with
hopeless
love songs,
and two wool skirts because
my love,
the  fall
is coming...

this is life-
this is the
best it gets,
I'm certain.

where I'm smiling in
a thrift
store and
the hope of
evolving
romance
fills me
to the
brim

It's a good thing I bought
a cup
because
my dear,
I'm spilling over.
Sarah Sep 2015
Patio swinging, my legs
     up to push me
back and forth,
     a cover of sun-
  light dancing and
swooping in
  all of the arches
     the dips
        and the bows
the silent shapes
     of physical
       existence,

a jar of tea
in hand and a book
   of poems,
open like a corpse for
dissection, a body
to study, to poke,
   to pry to
              find
the way that
      insides make
       the outsides
       move along, shh
come along with me.

It's patio swinging in
   Oregon summer
where the mud wasps carry
   heavy,
    drooping legs like
     tired sunflowers who
     can't bear to see the sun
         overwhelm another Indian
                                                  sky

so hear, I lie,
where I'll always
lie
my bony legs pushing back the
patio swing
my doll hands performing
autopsies on
Ginsberg and Bukowksi
bathing in sunshine and
prosecting poetry
Sarah Sep 2015
Isn't it funny,
that walking through a
sun-stained, dripping golden
heat garden full of
green and green and green and
pops of
viridian veins
bursting in quiet,
outstretching desire to
feel the warmth of fire of the
closest, neighbor star
that

I find
myself
more lonely
more confused and
for lack of understanding,
hopelessly wondering
what it is, next to
flowers, I am supposed
to do?

Flowers live and drink the sun and God,
to be a flower too.
Sarah Sep 2015
Outside,
there's a horror
show,
the night is black
and without you

I am lonely.

I imagine you've
forgotten me
or
decided
to leave me
behind

but even though,
Darling,
this fog is stifling
and the black
silhouette of
night-trees
crowds the
quiet, distant
sky,

inside the doors with you
I've found
safety, the gingered
touch of reticent freedom and
I love,
I love you so.
Sarah Sep 2015
I didn't remember the cement stairs
being so widely spaced
apart.
I guess it's been a
month since I've
been back.

The top step that
used to wobble
has been
nailed back
down and
the peeling paint
continues
peeling

My key still fits
in the heavy door
and the lock still takes
a wiggling

and everything looks
like it must have before...

Love never
existed in a room like
this, in this building where
the fresh white paint
smelled lonely

Your belt looks like it
did before
and you put your bag
in the same place
you had asked me to leave you
some of my work- my art-
but empty walls suggest
you threw it
away

everything has changed, and
I hand you my key
and my keychain still
looks the
same.
Sarah Sep 2015
The moths fly in
to catch the
light
because I leave
the windows
open,
I find them
fallen on my
sill,
hard and crisp
as death-
dried flowers
losing color,
fading away.

I always leave
my windows open
and let everything
in.

the animals
the light
the smoke from a
neighbor's chimney
or a fire burning
far away-
the moths
the wasps
the black beetles and
gnats
and romance-
and you-

you are not excluded.

I always keep my
porch light on,
my windows propped
up
letting the world see
everything I am
and August,
you came in-
but
I still
can't shut
the window

I'm so afraid of
you leaving the way
you came
suddenly
suddenly
suddenly through an
open window
and this time I might have
to shut myself in
because I've never
found a light like
you

I'm like the moths
who look for the light
in my window
and get too close
and fly in, head first
without restraint and
incinerate

you're too bright and
I'm too open
and I think that
this is
it.
Sarah Sep 2015
I'm back
in front of my
canvas-
my hand beating
back and forth,
persuaded just
by
tone
there are so many
secrets the
light
hides,
so many
rich
unknowns.

I read once:

to paint is
to love
again


and it must be
true

the endless
incessant
driving
devotion
to make the universe's
plaything:
color

unconditional fondness
to my life partner,
color

I'm back in front of my
canvas
and I'm creating
love in hue.
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