so much to say
not finding the words

so few things but so many

a lot of time is running out

inside the outside
so light in this place I can't see a thing

outgrown my tiny world

maybe it's so exciting that it bores me

flipping out while keeping my cool

We met by chance, smiled at me across a room.

Bluest eyes I have ever seen. Wouldn't look away.

Strong handshake, beautiful hands.

Red hair did me in.

Held me in his arms and got into my heart.

Told me he loved me on a rainy day when I was ever so far away , wanted me to come home right away.

8 years later and still makes me smile.

Even now I have no idea where anything is going and everyday is brand new.

4 years later will you still feel the same?

Will he grow tired of my face, will someone sweeter take my place?

I wanna love you forever but I don't know how.

Maybe I am broken and these words need not be spoken so I wrote them down to keep my silence.

I could never hurt another soul , I have done it before and it hunts me still.

Nobody deserves to be crushed , I've been crushed, been crushed by you.

I just wanted to pretend we could go back to the beginning .

Start old love anew , like it never hurt , like you never cried, like my black heart was alive.

I just wanted everlasting love and the stars to aline and to frozen forever in time.

Thaw my cold heart please , be that sweet.

Hold me like you don't want to let go, kiss me like it's never ending.

Smile like I am not just the girl you should want that looks great on paper .

Forever seems so long now, baby if I am alright then why does it feel all wrong?

Just tired of being owned , dying to be free. If you could please let me be.

I know the reckless wild girl still holds your heart and if you say you don't care a million times  your crystal blue eyes never lie.

I just want your life to be good and maybe I am just safe but you need danger.

We looked like a love story in some cheesy movie and then it fades to black.

The End

Laughing and skipping, running until I am out of breath.
Spinning until I fall on the grass.

Rolling down the hill in my nice clothes, chasing my little brother and sister.

Eating fresh green beans straight off the plant. Sharing a tomato with the dog.

Staying up late giggling. Mom yells "GO TO BED!" at least a dozen times.

Playing tea party in the basement in roller skates.

Waking up every day to sun shining in my window in my room with the huge mauve flowers.

You whisper "goodnight princess" and warmth fills me

Even when you’re far away I feel you near, it’s like your right here.

You told me you love me and there is nobody else like me.

You wiped my tears and wished me an eternity of happiness even if I can't be with you.

Your closer then close and further away then the moon but it's all the same to me and you.

So goodnight sweet distraction, good night sweet Prince and all your dreams may they come true.

Goodnight Prince Charming goodbye is never enough and rockets red glares shine not as bright as your soul.

After it all
After the mess
After the hurt

I am still standing here cold and broken

I never mean to hurt or to let you down but I do every time and I am sorry in every way

I have given you my best all these years it's just so sad for you that the worst finds its  way in as well

After the pains
After all the strains
After I wipe away my tears

The guilt sets in and I am not good

Maybe we need a little time
Maybe we need to talk it out more

I have a feeling all I need is a few moments alone with you in your arms

I am so sorry my love for hurting us this way

I am skin and breath
I am soft to the touch

I am anger and wrath
I happy and I am sad

Through it all I love them all.

I sit and watch them rise and fall

I am me and I am not sorry