dark twisted images fill my mind
but i know i am not of them

the world is a scary, scary place
if you're wearing the wrong glasses

the foamy taste of reality hits my tongue
i breathe the fresh air,  however hesitant

we walk through the park
the wind whips our faces

we talk about something
and laugh

and i'm grateful
and i'm sad
and i'm angry
and i

feel
way
too
much

but
- for once -
it's real

i
can
feel
sunlight

i
can
laugh
again

my greatest fear is judgement
but
if
someone thinks less of me
for loving myself enough
to take a pill that saves my life

they
can eat
****

i lost myself
trying to understand evil
and i still don't get it

i still would rather **** myself
than hurt someone innocent

i guess i can rest easy knowing that
i'm not a bad person

trusting that
i'll never be

and now i can return home
after an adventure through the
dark forest
and drink a cup of tea

too often i long for the past
but
my heart has always ached
&
my mind has always spun
&
i've always wished for another time

life was so much sweeter
when i thought you were gone
when i saw clearly the lines between
you
and
me

fuzzy stars grow between the black night sky
tears form behind my eyes

and i miss you
and i miss the love that grew
and i know it's still there
but i've tended to the weeds,
not the flowers

and i'm paying the price
and so are you

starvation,
and
loss.

Too many birds fly through my window
But I never close the **** thing

I'd love to have a spotless outlook
But the unfamiliarity with happiness
Has my heels dug into the ground

I want to say the perfect words
When you walk into my room at midnight
Finding my eyes wide opened
And four cups filled with salvaged tears
at my bedside

"Leave me alone"
Is all my foolish mouth can muster
As my heart yearns
for a long lost innocent love

But it's only instant gratification
that I'll ever be good at
So when you close that tired door
I am overwhelmed with pleasure
From the pain in my heart