Winter is coming and I'm panicked.
I'm scared of the nostalgia it might bring
when I see the first snowflakes fall
for the first time without you.

You're warm and cozy, probably,
enjoying it all too well.
And I know the only way I'll survive this winter
is to have a heart colder than the air around my cloudy breath,
and the shoulder of you - a stranger -
someone I once knew like the back of my hand.
I'll pretend when I close my eyes
it's not you I'm seeing.

The temperature is dropping, and the leaves are dying
one by one.
I'm hiding away my feelings,
burying them until spring.
But maybe by then, they will have slept beside you too long.
They'll be dead, and kept by you,
Irretrievable - too far gone.

I'm not grieving just for you, anymore.
I'm grieving for myself,
and the cold-hearted ***** I have come to be.

I see your cadence
and your lilt.
I see you--
soft mannerisms,
broad gesticulations,
eye language
and swinging butterfly
legs that can't sit still.

I see your lips
with my eyes closed.
I see you--
gentle tempering,
encompassing motion,
speaking tongues
only I know
and wrapping serpent
arms that hiss our secrets.



-LP

A moment in your eyes could stay sketched in mind timelessly
The power your piercing gaze holds makes my mind crumble translating to stutters
of expressionless wonders
Intensity keeps a smile from forming
Feelings spike to shock and speechlessness
As layer by layer I begin unfolding until naked and completely unraveled
A surrender that kept me motionless
I want to run
I want to hide
But I'm left clinging to your sleeve heaving
As I morn the loss of the self I once fit into comfortably
I almost unwillingly dispelled the anchor that held me down
and drifted until my tired body felt the sand of safe grounds
It was your island
It was your stability
It was all recognized when you took my hand with great agility
I sat in tears letting the gold fall through my hands
Watching it glisten as my foot prints trailed along
I took time to kiss the new land I stand upon
Then looked up ambitiously with anew strength ready to explore

You see me as strong, but my strength hides my weakness
You see me as happy, but my happiness hides my sadness
You see me smile, but my smile hides my vulnerability
You say you my friend, can you not see what I am hiding?

You mistake me listening as if I don't need to be listened to
You mistake my advice as if I don't need it too
You mistake me smiling as if I am content
You say you my friend, can you not see that I am scared?

I let you shine cause I am too broken to care
I let you sing cause I am too hurt to hear my own voice
I let you be cause I feel like I cannot be
You say you my friend, can you see that I am yours?

love is when
you notice one of many flaws
and learn to appreciate that
it's there.

love starts the instant,
you hear the alluring thoughts
the words that are never spoken
when the heart unfolds.

love is the moment
they call you up at three am
in the morning because
you're the only one that
they can trust.

love can be seen
that moment neither of you speak
but take in every single emotion
that's painted in the eyes.

love can be in many forms
and if you manage to find someone
who loves you I beg you
to love them back.

It's hard to unlove a person
just like it's hard to love a person
for who they really are.

Key and a Lock*

do you need me to go....?

well i never told you that i was going to leave
now you're stuck here face to face with me

tonight is the night that you suffer from all the
time it took me to recover. just a face i thought
i knew that became my new lover.

what have i been trying to accomplish?
things get blurry.

you told me you loved me
you told me you need me
you told me that you would never ever leave me

.. well what happened?

now you're stuck here to face the pain
that i kept locked deep inside my chest
in a box with a lock that only you held
the key to.

but where did it go? it was swallowed when
you took him to the room and you locked the door

now this box is here forever to stay
like you stuck deep in this game
i thought it was only you that could
save me from this pain.
but it was you
who enforced
the remourse
on this recourse
to shape a new key

..then maybe that box could be unlocked.



..well i was wrong.


you told me you loved me
you told me you need me
you told me that you would never ever leave me

now you can just sit back and watch
as i toss every photo that we ever took
into an ever lasting flame that will burn
each and every corner of those false
memories.

do you want me gone?

you're bound to this case
you wanted to fame
you came with a chain and wrapped it around my heart
the continuous tug that constricts my heart a little more
with each and every lie your lips told

well tonight is the night that this chain
breaks and i wont have to worry about unlocking the box
to release the pain that has been stored for decades

... was this not really happening?

or was this a way my mind was trying to help me cope
with the pain.

i still wont have to worry about finding a new key
because i already had it.

i look down only to find a few pills in my hand.

no one was here
no one to shape a new key
no one to even try and break the lock
but more importantly you weren't here.

there is only one way to break that lock
what have i left to hold.

i didnt't leave a note,
the door was unlocked.