It has been about a year
Since I saw you last
And yet
I still think of the past
And when I do,
I fight tears.

We were such good friends
I never once thought
There would be an end
But I can no longer pretend

The memories consume me
They set fire to my heart
And it burns
It's nearly in ashes.
The pain they cause,
has become too much.

I have to say goodbye.
I will always love you all
But I can not do this any more.
I have tried
And cried
And reached out to you
But I get not one single reply
And I am left wondering why
A question that burns a hole
In my heart
It has tore me apart

It is time I walk away
I can longer stay
I don't know what to say...

You were amazing
You were always there
The ones who always cared
I gave you a piece of me
Do not worry,
You can keep it.
You were my best friends...

But now I have to say
Goodbye.
Goodbye Cole.
Goodbye Trevor.
Goodbye Edward.
**Goodbye

I miss you.
I miss us.
What happened?

I woke up one day and you just were never the same
You're supposed to be the one to stay true
My bestfriend till the end
With you I never had to pretend.
But now, you no longer even respond to the messages I send.

I understand, you have a girlfriend
But...
Wasn't I here first?
You pushed me aside
After the hell we've been thru
After all these years
And nothing
You make me want to shed so many tears...

We were supposed to grow old
We were supposed to be bold
But now that things have changed, I feel like our friendship has been sold
You used to be the one I could rely on...
Now..

Now I'm left alone
And I add your name to the list...
The list of broken promises

Sitting here
Reflecting over my life
All I've ever wanted is to help
Is to make a difference
To lend a hand
To bring a smile where there has not been one.
All I've wanted to do is bring a little light to the darkness
Shine through the darkness that embraces us all
To show that there is hope
To show that you can make it.
To show them my scars and say that the cuts I've received have only made me stronger
To show that at the end of it all you can have the last word

All I want is to make a positive change in someone's life
To make a person smile would be like bringing a little life from the ever fading flower
To make a person laugh when they don't feel as though they can would be like the first rain after a long drought

But as I sit here I wonder if I've done that.
If I have I feel like I haven't done enough...

As the skies darkened with each passing moment
I ran inside
A place to hide
Slammed the door shut
Soon after the pounding began
I stood there braced against the entrance
The door being ripped apart but not being budged
I go to the place where I can get peace of mind
The longer I stand there, the more the pounding ceases to be heard.
Soon it stops
I'm free from the emotions and thoughts chasing after me
Left with a numbness
How can I ever leave this place now?
If I let them in I'll surly be torn apart
If I wish to face them...how do I start?

A lie can be as beautiful as a freshly cut rose
Beautiful and full of appeal
But after Some time the petals once so full color begin to fade...
The rose begins to wilt
And so you begin to ask questions
Suddenly things don't make sense
Suddenly it isn't as beautiful anymore
And so, as with time all things die.
The rose starts to decay
And that's when you begin to say:
You want the truth.
Because the lie holds no beauty and you've come to accept it as it is
And so soon the truth is reveal

If emotions were colors
I'd have many options to choose from
I would paint on the canvas set before me
I would paint away until I had nothing
Giving my all

I would use my hands
I would use a brush
I would do it in a hurry, an overwhelming rush
I would take my time, set a pace

With all these emotions come twice the thoughts

You would see great things
You would see things that would shatter your heart
You would see who I am
Who I want to be
You see
I wouldn't hide my colors
No, if emotions were colors, I'd paint the world
And you would see, a little piece of me.

I feel like a flower
Hidden in the desert
Left there, for the one who looks closer
Many rush
In their hurry I'm the one they almost crush
I feel like a flower
Hidden in the desert
Left for the one who doesn't mind the heat
Left for the one who doesn't mind the cold
Left for the one who really is bold.

I feel like a flower
Who is ready to bloom once more
Who is ready to embrace what ever life brings

With each passing day
My emotions seem to sway
A heart that was shattered
So beat and tattered.

I picked up the pieces
What was left of it anyway
I thought all was left was nothing but dust
I managed to find what ever was left behind
I no longer had a heart, those were the thoughts in my mind
It felt like I was left in the dark.
I thought I went blind.

But the sun seems to be peeking.
Breaking through the pitch black
It came so sudden I thought I was attacked
But the warmth that I felt
Seemed to defrost, seemed to make me melt
There came such a feeling
It was quite Revealing
I forgot how to feel.
And now that I can, it is so surreal

As the sun rises
And the world comes alive
I can't but help breathe a sigh

Everything that was once dormant is now lively
Dark turns light
The cold embrace is slowly letting It's grip go
And the blood in my veins begins to flow

The darkness held me captive for too long
I lost my strength, I no longer feel strong.
But I will surely continue to go on