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Feb 2014 · 573
Alchemy
Sanaa A Feb 2014
You have to feel hot to melt transgression
Feel **** to see the accursed as ash  
Felicity never came in a bottle
But in waves as loud as your confidence
Battering the shore line of shame drawn across your thighs
Colonize a new place, make your face say
Less, decide you want to change the world
Then change it
With your nails done, and your hair did
There isn't a better way to feel so…female, familiarly God
God, *****
Is synonymous with power for a reason
Jan 2014 · 534
Talk To Yourself
Sanaa A Jan 2014
Write love letters to the bones you've starved
The skin plump with grief is an envelope
A messenger, a telephone wire to the moon so
Don’t stand startled when she calls you
I have taught her your name
It is on speed dial
It is painted on the walls of her womb
Every night she cradles you in the duvet of her city
Telephone in her hand the
Sour taste of rejection screaming, wishing
You’d answer the ******* phone
Jan 2014 · 698
We Met With Goodbyes
Sanaa A Jan 2014
We met with goodbyes
Our future already a deflated hot air balloon
Hand in hand our hands always tied to our shoe laces
Static skin enveloped in braces
Running away was never a choice
It was a decision, there is
Something about breaking open your skin
Something about stupendously stepping over the mark where
The runway stops,
Something about the first step
That keeps me moving
Away away away from you
Keep going
Jan 2014 · 812
Hope
Sanaa A Jan 2014
Sky flows furiously in the
Brightness beneath my eyelids
Dandelion juice seeps out a nostril
Eat me whole, wail
The Alps descend to my feet
Crevasses between toes
A paralysis, I am turning green
Gardens rock I sit limp as a leaf
Brightness beneath my eyelids
Pickle sour
Bitter breath
Cherries for teeth I scream
For order and find trees, trees
Choking on bark, brightness beneath my eyelids
I scream for order, a suspicious star enters
And leaves
Jan 2014 · 750
II
Sanaa A Jan 2014
II
Ascension isn't possible
here
crucifixion only executes the ill
A barrenness cradles only absence
ickle infant obese in its murderous skin
******* its thumbs smell the
generations of sourness
a sliced lemon sits in her right eye
bitter bitter bitter
ascension isn't possible
here
crucifiction only executes the ill
Jan 2014 · 657
Hands
Sanaa A Jan 2014
I fell in love with your hands before I fell in love with you
And when I need a reason to stay your hands say
Stay
So I do, they are a Church for my prayers where
I kneel and evaporate into a
Blinding electric blankness
Everyday
Feels like a good day with you
Like a drowsy exhale making your head pirouette
I am floating in your vapour and
I haven’t known dizzying love of
This self- surrender type but
I surrender myself to you
A maverick martyr giving you blue bones and blue thoughts
Take my atomized promises
Awfully annihilating the brightness of your shrine
Take me in your hands , take me in your hands
Jan 2014 · 1.4k
Rose
Sanaa A Jan 2014
You know the song I whisper to myself in the night
For I myself sang it to you and I myself let you
Crawl into my bed of despair
Of desperation and
You rolled about
Slept in it and
Immersed yourself in the nakedness of my being and
I was a wilting flower
A ****
But you didn't care
You pressed your Jewish face, hands and tenderness
Took in my stubborn scent

You made me feel like a rose

Your voice always sounds scared and nervous and  
Agitated
It is precious because it can change a universe
You’re intelligent but
My name is toxic in your mouth you know
Saying it kills you
It's thick vowels are murderous
Mixing with the mourning of a
Genetically inherited pollutant elsewhere
Deep in your throat
hidden and hushed
Your mother tongue drowns weeping at your rejection of her
My name and her sobs don’t mix well
She behaves like acid rain
Killing the flowers in your heart and
I don’t feel like a rose in that place anymore
I feel like I'm a **** again and
I just
Want to go home
Jan 2014 · 420
Letter to Myself
Sanaa A Jan 2014
It took 3 years for me to learn but
there is a difference between feeling
lonely
and alone
there is life right in the chambers of the heart
I've tried endlessly to burn to the ground
I cant
burn the house I grew up in to the ground
  no matter what I do
37.2 trillion cells are with me
and summer doesn't have to leave if I
plant tulips on my stomach
I can't lose
I can't
I can't

— The End —