i.
you are still safe
you are still safe
you are still safe you
are still safe

ii.
i know you can't remember
but you were so happy
and i promise you will feel that again

iii.
and i know you have no energy
but i promise you will be able to move again
this isn't forever

i.
no one gets it, right? no one understands, they don't know what they're talking about

ii.
the warnings, the pamphlets, the list of red flags

iii.
they may seem familiar but it's just not like that, right?

iv.
of course not

i.
it is never the right time

ii.
you are never sure enough

iii.
you will never say anything

iv.
it will always be like this

v.
you will witness every way people can fall apart

i.
you are a burden in hands,
a weight on shoulders,
a heaviness in heart

ii.
let go
everyone will fly

what do you look like?
you look like stale air and dusty doorways that haven't seen you in what seems like years
you look like tearing up over nothing and you look like labored breathing
you look cold, shivering and quaking
but you don't look like you're trying
you don't look empty and you don't look heavy
you don't look like a headache, you don't look like a stomach silently folding itself silently pulling you down
you don't look like burning eyes
and you don't look numb, no, you don't look numb at all

(you are invisibly striving,
but visibly failing)

those times that you do feel happy,
you clench the feeling tightly, in your anxious fist, and you hold it up, above anything and everything that you fear could take it from you

I.
you were so, loved
adored so,
softly

II.
he loved you so and he said forever,
he wanted your forever

III.
he loved you when he saw the morning light and when he heard something beautiful he always thought of your voice he wanted to tell you everything and he did

IV.
he was shaky as a loose leaf and you were so very calming, you were so safe, you were so safe, you were so safe

V.
he still thought you were so safe when people tell him,
he sounds afraid when he talks about you

VI.
and you were so loved,
and you were so angry

VII.
this was not the love you wanted, not the person you wanted it from, and who could blame you, really