We are always starting over
The feeling of grounding
Through clenched teeth,
Discouraged.
I’ll clean my slate
And feel relieved
To have arms open.

Happy is a good day
The sun winks
The grass waves
Today, I’m ready.

Tomorrow, maybe, what if-
I don’t pretend to know her anymore.
Tomorrow is forever a dream.

Today is open.

I want to welcome you to chapter 6!
This show has gone on far too long, but wait- there’s so much more!
Let’s recap chapters 1-5:

Racism
Sexism
War
Drugs
Natural disaster

Chapter 6 will cover: Disease

...stay tuned folks!  

(And stay safe folks...
We are all going through this.
They don’t want me to engage,
But we are being torn apart
If I were you I’d love as long as we can
The chapters exist because hate does
End it at chapter 6...chapter 7 is unfathomable).

He was abandoned, again
The boy with no home
Who wanted nothing more
Than to be loved
But what he didn’t see
Was reality

This Shakespearean poet
With only one note to sing
Held his heart out
To the sky
“Love me”

And he was loved
He was also free
But freedom was a fear
He was always bare
Always near, waiting for pain

But did he see light?
The thing he craved
Warmth was given
As he graveled in his cave
He never sought out

Pity was an Achilles heel
Blindness struck his face
With a heart tapping on strings
Wanting, needing, he would wait
For something...

I will stop.
I will live.
I will spread my arms wide
In the wind, and I will thank
The heavens for the love
That comes in pieces.
The parts are reasembled.

Get your head straight.
Love is in every corner.
My distraction never looked.
We have time..
Brush the haze...
Look beyond the gratifying.
Dig, and dig deeper
Catch the roots spilling.

It’s everywhere. Joy!
We share, we breathe, we think.
I think, we are going somewhere
I look forward to the new world.

I can play the victim, I admit.
We all find ourselves in holes.
The hole I’m in
       is the one I dug.
Do you know the difference?

Your blame is like a heavy fog
Or a stranger’s breath upon me
I am afraid to focus
On the heat wave that weighs me

I try
    To let
         It go.

The truth is, I am afraid
I’ve been afraid before you
But this fear is....shedding you.
I need to leave, I need to.
You stick to me.
I shake you off.
But you are there.
I don’t love you.
I know it.
Why..
Am..
I ..
Still..
Here?

I dug this hole myself.

I’m about to break open
Darkness bubbles out, oozes
Like sythetics in a flame
When in the world did I-
I sound like my mother.

I live in a straight line
So far from the circles
I’d trace in the rain
I took a role in society
The gravity of the wheel-
I cling to in desperation.

Blinders make years go by
The toll makes it faster
I’m holding on, slipping
Who are my sisters?
Better yet, who am I?

Technology, the race age
Can’t fight it, I’m caught in it
Contemplate.
But where is the time?
To remind me of better times
I can’t find it, I’ve lost it.

I struggle between the time
And the lack of it
The life I have to earn
And the life I let go
There is nowhere in between.

The joy, settles like dust in my brain
I can’t keep like this, I can’t keep.
My reflection shows the woman I smirked at:
“That will never be me”
But there’s no time to reflect.

It is what it is, what it is, what it is
It is what it is, what I am, what I am
I am...
Clockwork.
6:00am - we are up again.

I pray I will break someday.