counting you down -
you are my
noun
& I'd rather be
honest with you
than to be
loud
let us be
calm
  let me
renounce
I took you home with me
into my house
I am still
in love with you
inside my mouth
& you should still
belong with me
ignoring miles

sand-burnt chins
kissing sideways

i'm not suppose to

try not to die kindly
and I know it

my tongue's out

table of cups
gulp forward
nine of cups
destroyed

counting sips
backwards
becoming unwanted dessert
feeding off
learning you're no good for me

breakfast of champions
eggs saved for
someone different

not mine but
i spend batteries
clocking

wishing i'd inked the key
and you
meant more to me than knuckles
wish you
knew that
wish you knew what our love
*is

there's a slow burn in her words
I've come familiar with drawls
I watch your voice turn to coffee
I sip from your jaw
I'm not thirsty, just nervous
speaking in black caffeine tongues

"I'll fiend before it starts
& I'll feel clean after it's done"

cause you can't run from the two lungs
catching breath after breath

& you can't squeeze life back from death
if it is dead
then it is dead

s o m e t i m e s
late at night
while I'm gawking at the sky
I make up spells with the stars
I play your face in my mind
and with your chains I am guided
through space & inside time
there is a life wherein you're mine
a silent light behind my eyes
it does the opposite of blind
& I am enlightened by this find
I say your name quite q u i e t l y
that even the birds feel so inclined
that i'm reminded of your smile
every time I watch them fly
you're like a diamond in a dream
that shines inside of wind-chimes
playing songs during my sleep
my own *r o m a n t i c lullaby
the brightest beam I've ever seen
you belong beside the sky
& sometimes
just s o m e t i m e s
things aren't always as they seem
you know you can't say that to me
for I know exactly what i've seen

you've got a face like a diamond
I'll cut to the chase
like somebody designed it
for a woman that's so hard to find
let me find you & sleep behind it
you're a dime boo
it's blinding
and if he says he don't want you, he's a blind fool
cause you're mind food
you're a crowned jewel
they gotta **** with me to get ta you
you're better than fried food and good news
you better than Cher songs and new shoes
and I wrote this just for you
cause I heard 3 seconds of a wayne song and lost my cool
cause you're the coolest
and if i was part of a news cast i'd weather your blues
& I ain't even gay for you
I just think you're a ruler and wanna break rules with you
I wanna watch people skate like there's nothing better to do
and when the day is ******* done
i'll be like
dude, you rule
you rule
you rule
you rule
you rule

She kissed me like
She
Kept
Dropping
Her
Keys.
She looked like paper,
But smelled of smoke
And had maps
Tattooed down her arms.
They were her roads,
Not meant for others.
I waited on the porch,
Knowing all paths led back,
Eventually.

The smell of sweat in her
Husband's office hovers.
Heavy loneliness making me
Itch.

You love her, but not like you
Did with mom.
A loop of metal looked
Heavier in person.

I can hear your breathing
In the next room.
You told you just wanted
To say hi.

You closed the door
A quiet thud.
Shadows of his work
Dancing on the walls with
Cars driving by
Outside.

Betrayal like a salty residue
Sinking into my skin.
So thick I can taste it.
I didn't expect this kind of
Desert.

Why did you bring me here?

Hating the time difference as usual
Usually just
Un using things
Not really thinking about importance and
Disproving what's changed
It's strange
It's deranged
Intangible
or is
Nothing the same
still I'm grateful
Anything with your name is
Delicious it's
Served at my table
It burns holes in my grace like
We're so unattainable
But I'm so
righteously grateful
for every single word being tasted
like maple
Like syrup
I wanna pour you up
and out
sweet substance
Cut you up with my fork
you disturb meals like
you've been in my mouth
With
Forgets and what torments
everything from lint to fabric
I might wear you but
you, you're still absent
and I'm inadequate
I'm chasing dreams of your necklines
I'd like to relate the responsibility of trying to describe your face
But that's impossible
You're so gorgeous it's like forcing everyone to burn holes inside of trouble
It's like trying to relate these things publicly
try and explain what's important
When all i want is to try to say you're important to me

But you won't hear it
You're too young so you
Do what you want and I
Just lay down
Bite my tongue & I
Retry to say words that might strike you
Instead
Pretend my mouth might
Bite into your neck
That you might let me
Kiss all of the skin
stretching from your head to your knee caps
Make you relapse from my lap
to your shoulders
We are holy
I am yours, girl
You no longer need that discloser
& if you'd decide to be mine
I'll have you wake up adored
and I'll hold every single word.
and no matter what goes on in this world
I just want to rock yours  
and anyway
hey;
We might be worlds away
but i'm not use to being stopped