I eat you up
like the salty taste of chocolate
you melt around my tongue
and leave a yearning in my cheeks

I love you raw
my lips meet your smooth skin
and trail them with burns
my breath scorches your flesh

You breath in
and out
Stomach crashing like
the waves to the rocks
and I take you in
with every beat

I grasp, I cling
We sweat
and collapse
and in the midst of slumber
it happens all again

And as we argue
over who's using who
with legs entangled
and chins nestled into necks,
I know every shoulder
kissed softly,
every pause took
to brush lips,
every time your head rests on my belly
and you sigh, corner lips on my button
my fingers wrapped around your curls,
That this isn't use
It's love

When I no longer
Crave your skin
It'll be because I
no longer enjoy the shower
of your laughter
When I don't want to slip my thighs around you
and squeeze,
it'll be because
I no longer want to know your thoughts
When I no longer want to meet you on the pillows,
It'll be because you no longer warm me
when you smile at me from across the car.

So if, in the middle of our passions,
your mind grows doubtful of my heart
Know that this bed is not the source of my love,
but a symptom, a sign,
an expression.
Because words and roses and lilies and chocolates are
simply not enough.
And maybe if you can't understand in my kiss,
maybe you won't ever understand at all,
because I know of no better way to tell you,
I love you.

And
           if
         I
can't look into
             the mirror
  and see
me
    anymore
I'm not
                blaming you
       But
I am
         leaving  you

And if
             I can't
   look into the mirror
and
   love me
anymore
I'm not
       blaming you
but I am
            saying goodbye you
hello me

And if
I wake up
           lonely without you
At least
        I won't
     wake up
empty without me.

I grab a shoe
        a shoe
        a shoe
Because everyone wears shoes
Because everyone needs shoes

I grab a shoe
         and I shove my foot
    straight in
              Because that's what everyone does
Because my foot wasn't good enough
            as is.
    Despite,
                 supporting my weight
and keeping me afloat.
My foot needs more, to be complete.
Because all feet get cold, I guess.

But this shoe annoys,
          it suffocates
          it squishes my toes
that just want to wriggle free

        And I'll have to wear it,
as uncomfortable as it is,
           until I wear it down
     But soon after that,
this one
                             will have given up on me.

And I'll just have to get a new one,
               and go through the whole thing,
   Because everyone needs shoes
                 All their lives

But even after I have
          shoved this foot into
that shoe
the ordeal isn't yet over.
    a shoe needs effort to work right
you've got to tie it up to keep it on.

So I grab this lace,
         and I scoop up that lace
and I pull like I've seen others do,
    the grip on my foot gets tighter,
But this shoe's not going anywhere either.

So I start crisscrossing
and looping
and more pulling
and stretching
and soon,
           I've got a finger
    or two
          stuck.

Frustrated,
                          I yank them out.
and the whole thing unravels.
                         and I've got to start again.

But to no avail;
with no point

                      Because

even when I slow down,
                           I get distracted,
Even when I focus,
                   I fail

But I spend hours
and hours
          trying to knot these **** laces
trying to tie this **** shoe

                         Because everyone wears shoes.
They make it look so easy,
They make it look so fun,
          
But my foot just wants free.
To roam without constraints.

But bare-feet aren't the norm,
So I'll keep sitting here,
Slowly learning to tie my shoe.

Salty droplets leaking down my young face
Sinking into soft fur
   The sun is creeping past the horizon
     Spilling golden light like honey
       Pushing back the darkness
          Only to reveal the world I feel so distanced from
              Another night ended, spent lamenting
                The hell I live in
                  And the agony I create for myself
                    The hours are ticking down
                      My life is slipping through my hands
                       Tears on my teddy bear
                     because it's the only thing that won't hurt me
                        Tears on my teddy bear
                     because it's the only comfort I can hold in this home
                         Tears on my teddy bear
                    because I am all alone.

I can't even touch my feelings
I used to live in them
Now I live beside them
Day and day again
I watch them go
They want in
I want them to stay out.
I push the door shut and the window closed.
We are separate entities now.
They scream in frustration now.
Aching to get back in.
I tell them they are still in here with me.
I feel the memories of them
Every day a rip or two reopens
But I close my eyes quick
Lick away the blood.
Acting as if it never happened.
As if the bandaids had worked
Because I know half the cuts are from myself.
So I tell my feelings I still hold them dear
But I just hold my own survival nearer.
I don't want to destroy myself.
I want to destroy everyone else.
I want to push until they tear
Crush until they break
I want to become so sharp
That a look from my eyes can
make them bleed.
I want the world to know
What my insides have felt
And what my heart desires.
From love to lust
From wanting to fix it
To wanting to break it.
I don't have time for guilt
I don't have time for pain
Hurt,
Anger
I don't have time to feel pity
I don't have anymore room.
And sometimes my own selfishness makes me sick
But this gets me one step closer to the completion
of me.
I am done with dissecting the human race
They've infected themselves
And I am one step behind but catching up quick
I am trying to play a game with a finesse
That someone as new as I cannot possess.
I can't even touch my feelings.
And until today it wasn't a choice.
Let me lick the cut.