never apologize for who you are

why do people tell you to be yourself,
when you'll never compare to someone else's someone else?

when I hear your name there is a certain ache
makes me think of how long I have to wait
to see your face
I don't really care how much time it'll take
because there will never be enough time
when there's only so much of your hand in mine
everything around me is a sign
that points your way
I want to be in your arms every day
get drunk on your lips like wine
when I hear your voice everything is fine
I'm becoming exasperated by my own mind
you consume my thoughts all the time
I can't get away from it, it seems
especially with you in my dreams
happily pulling at my string
once together, I lose my seams
sticking them back together with your words
becoming better and anew afterwards
I hope you know what you've done to me
this isn't something sad, it's happy
because in the beginning I sat in misery
a rag doll that had lost meaning
but your presence in my life has been something
no longer a broken rag doll
something that had made me feel so small
turns out I just needed someone to listen afterall
no longer broken after the words you have spoken
the ache of your name is something I can take
the fingertips touching me where I used to break
intoxicated by every word you say
there's never enough time, but I'll take every day

I lay here in my empty bed
Thinking about the words you said
I want you here so badly
I want you so madly
1199 doesn't feel so far away
When I get to hear your voice every day
But I want to be in your presence
And experience your effervescence
I want to hear your breaths
And feel your soul's depth
Why is this bed empty?
Why aren't you right next to me?
I want my days to be filled with you
And tell you things about me you never knew
I want to be close and see your brown eyes
These are the thoughts that get me by
I know I'll be seeing you soon
But soon isn't enough when I feel this way
It doesn't matter how many times I say
That the time will go fast
Not when this feeling lasts
Not when this bed is empty
And you're so far away from me

board an airplane to change my life
I'm so excited I could cry
I finally, in person, get to see your brown eyes
I want those days to last forever
Don't let the time pass us by
I want to walk on the beach with you
Do all the things I've wanted to
May I hold your hand?
Smile and laugh with you over and over again?
May I play with your hair?
Show you exactly how much I care?
As the airplane descends
I am filled with butterflies again
I've dreamt about this day many times
A different scenario happening in my mind
Off the plane, find the exit sign
Look through the crowd till your eyes find mine
I don't know what happens next
But all I know is that I am positively vexed
By the person you are
I want to know your every inch, every scar
I want to sing songs in your car
Out of the exit sign I'll find you
And find out what I'm feeling is really true

I don't plan for your actual existence
but if that happens and you find this
I want you to know that I do love you
even though all I my life when talking about children I said I never wanted to
but if I ever change my mind
I'm going to leave this for you to find
because I want you to know all I want is for you to be happy
I hope you can get that from me
I hope that you never stop following your dreams
no matter how impossible they seem
because if you set your mind to it
you can achieve anything
my future offspring
I would love you with everything
I wouldn't want anything to ever hurt you
even know I know that will never be true
but the most I can do is keep you healthy and safe
because this world is a twisted place
which is why I never planned to bring you into this basket case
I hope that society accepts you for who you are
no matter your ***, orientation, gender, or your car
because you are worth so much more than this list
you are the only you that exists
you are more than what society tells you
you are the only one in charge of your truth
don't let society tell you are you are merely handsome or pretty
because these traits fade and are petty
it just matters how good your soul is
because everything about you flows from this
to my future darling, the thing that changed my everything
never forget that you don't have the best at something
just be the best person around and no one will turn that down
you don't exist and might never
but the least I can do is promise these things to you forever