Throbbing heads thrash together,
sorting trash from treasure, and losing time.
I throw together an outfit and leave
my house to try to sort through the pieces
from my rattled mind.
Lines of sunlight break through
the trees and melt
molecules with memories, fusing together
the time I had lost.
I lay in bed, exfoliated and slain,
pondering the cost of each meltdown;
of new brains.
Thumping against the ticking clock,
sleep covers me like a childhood blanket,
and my life, much like a button on the back of a toy
which gets pricked by a paperclip,
resets itself.

i watched stars fall, never releasing if it was just your passion falling
i wrote about seasons, not knowing if change was coming
but now, i just sit on concrete floors
watching acid drip down walls and humanity destroy itself
i watch ants come and go - - in the search of sugar
but bitter boys are the only things they will find
my eyes melt into your words
and your words speak of beautiful things - - other than yourself

i never realized how much i needed you until i lost you
we never were atoms colliding
but we were chemicals reacting, exploding
causing chaos throughout the halls
we laughed at our mistakes
our mistakes now a memory, ingrained in my head
a piece of paper in a typewriter awaits

i thought i lost you
then i missed you
then i regretted all i did with you (which was bare to none)
but then i realized your just another poem
one just waiting to be written

This poem is for the criminally insane

So unloved by themselves

They plot the ****** of their wrists daily - seen as lost causes

This poem is for the people who are envied

but no one knows their story or how they drink and get drunk

taking shots of off Vogue magazine

This poem is for the ignored

who no longer care enough to get out of bed

skipping school and day dreaming of meeting their maker

This is for everyone.

You are loved

we were just
two kids
crazy--yes
but mistaken--no
we felt like millions of people had felt
before
us
we held hands
in the hall
spent every minute just being
us
but it was tragic, really
you got bored
i spent endless nights
wandering and lusting after
you
when what i needed was to
wonder and think
"are you for me?"
no
and you never were
you were for her
but..still
with you i was
complete
but now we are fighting corpses of forgotten dreams
not the star-crossed lovers we used to
be

I don’t believe in that

It wasn’t love - more of a crush

Whatever it was, I don’t believe in it.

I wanted to hold your hand and I was too blind to see - fogged by misconception

I was too blind to see I was just a mistress in black while your love was away.

I feel cheap and used, like an old car stereo

Play me back and you might get another song - one that you won’t like anymore.

I’ll be over-used and abused. Maybe forgetfulness is a virtue. ***** You.

I won’t be played anymore so just put me back in my case, and store me in boxes down in your parents basement.

I'm screaming
but no one can hear me
I'm falling
but there is no one there to lift me up
just standing there
just breathing the same air
but you don't look up
not even a stolen glance
but do i care
yes
intensely i care
but your too blind to see
too deaf to hear
to evil to love
to conceited to care

when i move out to the city
to be inspired by the gold that awaits and glitters
and i live in an apartment by that little coffee shop i went to one day
and i have my diploma from college, sitting by all my candles
my studio, smelling like white chai and lavender scented incense
and i have a published book full of poetry
i'll finally be happy
complete

but i always sit back and ask myself
after the beautiful daydream
what if i don't live in the city
what if i don't get accepted to college
what if i don't become published
what if no one buys my book
what if i don't graduate
what if i major in business instead of english literature
what if i get scared and move back home
what if i stop writing
what if don't get a job
what if i have no more time to write
what if...what..if

i do make it in the city
i do graduate from my dream college, adorned in purple and gold
i do have a studio, filled to the brim with tea and watercolor paintings
i do live by some hidden little coffee shop, i don't even remember the name of
did it even have a name?

the thing is i have years before college
years before going after my dreams
so i won't know what will happen
but no one knows except
me
and i will someday
someday in the city
with a book in my hands with the title...
what if?

bullies
i've grown up thinking people ******
sometimes i still do
but i want them to have a clean slate
but will it only make me more
lonely
i want to start fresh
act like i'm meeting them all for the first time
brand-new
new school
wish me luck
or i might lose my muse
the people i write about
they deserve my thanks for many great poems i have written
but they still cracked
me