Its easy to sink
Its hard to watch you drown
When I can keep my head up, Or I just think
That I can, even when I'm down

But its hard to be your life boat
When I can sink oh so easily
So these are the simple words I wrote
When I try and help quietly

Its difficult to watch you in misery
So I asked if you needed a hand to hold
Because your tears can be seen clearly
Are you ever uncontrolled

By the sickness
That fills your lungs
Such a terrifying liquid
Depression controlled you ever since you were young

She was worried over her make up and clothes
He thinks she may have a petty crush on him but no one really knows
That day he and she were going to a dance
He decided if the time was right he'll give her a chance
She looked so beautiful in her deep red velvet dress
And she was planning on confessing her love to someone so she dressed to impress
He saw her walking his way
He chuckled changing his mind thinking 'Not dating her no way.'
Her heels clicked to the sound of the beat
He gave her a glare with a way so discrete
She took a breathe
He got ready to give the good old rejection speech
When she walked passed him
And then the lights went to a dim
The music began to be slow and enchanting
And she walked up to the person she loved still smiling
Everyone around finally got the clue
Who the mysterious crush was as she said 'May i have this dance with you?'
The first couple began to walce so effortlessly
He did not understand how they shared such intimacy
The crowd of friends cheered as the two danced glad they could finally dance together in public
There was no more pressure, for this dance was only filled with a great wave of romantic
He stood there in aw
As he could not believe he wasn't the love but the one left behind as everyone saw
While the two figures swayed on the dance floor
He began to anger yelling at her while she had to ignore
This was her moment and it was not going to get wrecked by some guy
As selfish as he wanted the girl he was going to reject loved someone else did not sit with him
So she danced never looking at him nor looking grim
They had kept it a secret for so long now all they could do was dance
The two girls were in such a loving trance

Its so warm in this room
But why are my limbs trembling?
Tears are rolling down in this bright room
The hysteric's kick in and rushing

Searing pain in my chest
And gasping for air is getting difficult
Locking myself in this bathroom while i'm getting so stressed
Family is on the other end of the thin wall remembering my thoughts are not so innocent

It wells up in my head what everyone calls danger
Then there is no more reactions, completely disconnected
My body is now like a stranger
The worrying thoughts targeting my daily life as expected

Trying to keep the world out with music
With all the maddening loss
What is with this endless panic?
Its just another big anxiety attack I have to come across

This is the war, of a girl, who came to this world with no oxygen in her lungs. She survived as little as she was with her arriving three months early. With a beautiful twin to fight the battle with her side to side.

Men couldn't keep their hands off of her. Her mind was a ticking time bomb of thoughts, then she went to highschool. With a few paper cuts and scrapes from a boy who granted her first kiss.

She met a girl, She fought for this girl treasured her adored her as much as she could. Then her heart got shot. She could not breathe for the longest of time. It left a big scar on her heart and the new found scars on her leg that were no longer papercuts.

Then she met a boy, as he learned to love her, the scars began to fade ever so slowly. Then there was an ambush of emotion breaking the little scared heart she had left. She walked around in the ruins of the battle ground as her mind held the war zone.

Lets see if the war will end with someone new and with no more battle scars leaving her with true love and peace.

I love you
Three tiny words that mean so much
I love you
They are for family, friends, partners, and pets
I love you
Is the thing that can give you a big smile
I love you
Can tear you to shreads

Its finally gone
My october blues
Nothing left to dwell on
We don't need one more excuse
November is now rolling out
Its going to be december cheer
What was yesterday's homework all about?
I'll be smiling ear to ear
How are you today?
I am very glad
Don't you just want to jump and scream YAY!
It's nice to have spent these lovely months with such a dashing lad

( Her inner thoughts)  (His inner thoughts)*                                                                                                    
                                                                                                              What is it?
                                                                                                                                Things are wrong at home
                                                                                                 Tell me something!
                                                                                                                             Just do your thing go roam..
                                                                                       Do you and me not fit?
                                                                                                                       I like another girl
                                                        I'm scared that you hate that I cling..
                                                                                                             You just need to figure me out just learn
                                                           Do you not care about me?
                                                                                                      I'm trying to figure things out
          I just feel like your on your own and i'm a dull dead sea
                                                                                               Do you want me to shout?
                                                                  I need you!
                                                                                       You need me?
                    Can't you see i've been getting so blue
                                                                               I'm scared that you'll find me weak if I plea
                              Please show me some feelings...
                                                                      Please let  me show you some feelings...

One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Do you still feel alive?
Did you survive?
Did you know she died?
six
seven
eight
nine
ten
You ask when?
was this how it was for women and men
is this going to go on after time and time again
eleven
twelve
thirteen
fourteen
is your number up yet?
fifteen
sixteen
seventeen
eighteen
nineteen
how long has it been
tell us all that you’ve seen
twenty
isn’t it lovely
such a mystery
is your number up?
did your tears fall when you looked up
twenty one
isn’t this fun?
twenty two
we don’t want to lose you
twenty three
will you forgive me
twenty four
why are you lying on the floor
twenty five
its not a good day to die

I'm sorry if i say dumb things sometimes
Can't you read in between the lines
No, honest I feel fine
Just waiting for you to stop giving me a mixed sign
You done talking yet?
Why can't I just forget
But since I do have second thoughts
Its probably why I have so many stomach knots
In the end you're just playing with me right?
Well don't worry I'm not going down without a fight
Are you even listening to me
Or are you hoping that i'll just flee

People say they love the sunny days
I guess I like them too in some ways
But I honestly love the rain
Even if some people see it as a representation of heartbreak and pain
I see it differently
As the little drops fall on my skin so gently
Those little tears remind me of all the great memories
Like when I was five, in my garden with all the rain drenched daisies
Or when I was fifteen and I had my first kiss in the rain after school
Because when I'm in the rain I never feel like a fool

She seemed so scared
  Waiting for my reaction
      What was the news that needed to shared
          Something big had occurred from a small action
             She can hardly stand
               She looked so hurt  
                  Just hold my hand
                    At the beginning i was just a big flirt
                      Now she's here with a little life
                         I cupped her face
                            We were both planning ahead and one day she could be my wife
                               We began a tight embrace
                                   Her parents thought it was terrible
                                      She is far too young to be a mother!
                                         I've never been in a situation to be comparable
                                           You're not my daughter!
                                              Not a girl
                                                Not even a boy
                                                   She looked like she was going to hurl
                                                       I love her she is not and will never be my toy
                                                          We would have celebrated
                                                              A little life, My little life, Our little life
                                                                  Now i'm the boy who her parents hated

I love the feeling of his warm fingertips
                                                      ­               She hates the feeling of his harsh and cold bruises
I crave one of his irresistable kisses on my lips
                                                            ­    She can't stand his bitter kisses filled with excuses
I need the warmth of his caring arms
                                                           She dislikes his strong unloving words
I wish we do not leave each others side for the school alarms
                                             She hates that he bullies kids like nerds
I envy his beautiful grey eyes
                                    She despises his blood shot eyes
I can't wait to see him
                              She can't wait to leave him while he wont care about her daily cries

Left, Right,Left, Right,Left, Right
He walks the streets, not the school hallways
Left, Right,Left, Right,Left, Right
His eyes feel heavy, he was starving not wanting to go to the trash cans for meals
Left, Right,Left, Right,Left, Right
There were drunks unconscious and rebel boys drunk with some party girls
Left, Right,Left, Right,Left, Right
His clothes have been dirt covered for months and ripped
Left, Right,Left, Right,Left, Right
He tries his best to avoid fights but sometimes he can't
Left, Right,Left, Right,Left, Right
He wished his parents didn't just kick him out of the house
Left, Right,Left, Right,Left, Right stop.

It was a cold day
she stood there content in a way
She was wearing a green sweater
in this cold november weather
Once she saw me she smiled
and i just stood there like a drooling child
She was wearing the green sweater that i had lent her
that october was such a blur
She ran over to me
what was up ahead she did not see
The car crashed into her
once again my eyes did blur
Tears burned my eyes
hoping that what i just witnessed were lies

She is not noticed at the back of the classroom
The teacher does not raise his head giving her the comfort of his attention towards her unanswered questions
She is ashamed of her silentness

He is noticed by every girl at the front of the classroom
The teacher will give him a good talking to once he asks for his attention to said questions
He is tired of his noise

She left class in a rush
He took his sweet time

She went home with her drunk parents fighting
She fled to her room with music
She did not say a word today or yesterday

He went home drunk fighting with his parents
He went to his room and started playing the guitar
He had said too many words that he now regrets

She, the next day, went back to the classroom
He, the next day, went back to the classroom
Her eyes for the very first time meeting with his

She is the mystery,
can't you see it? the way she walks or how she talks
She is a secret
don't you understand? if you want to be in her world you have to let go and get lost in it
She is owned by no one
why would you guilt and push her around? she needs to be free
She is interesting
would you take a chance to fall in love with such a person?
She fell for you
when will you say the three words she's been dying to hear?

they wilt at the sound of this routine
                                                       in and out
they dread the vision society built
                                                       fight or flee
they stare wide eyed at the options
                                                      morton's fork
they crave attention and affection
                                                      love or hate
they do not understand what is happening
                                                      fast or slow
they silently wait
                                                    slow.. rain...
they fell upon the stars
                                                   light.. darkness?
they understand the delirium of this single question
                                                   why
they need for the answer
                                                    are
they imagine the costs
                                                    we
they cry for nothing more
                                                   creating
they wish for it to be easy
                                                  madness
they will not stand to nothing
                                                 to
they will not fade so easily
                                                others?
they will find peace to this elegant dance of the mad wisdom

You love me when i'm so fragile
Seems like its been awhile
Since iv'e seen you smile
You don't know how you're so sweet
While i can't stand on my feet
Nothings the same
I could never forget such a beautiful name
As it echoes in my head
While you walk proudly up ahead
No matter what they say
In the gravity of the day
For all the little things
I want to fix your broken wings
So just this once
Smile
For me