The light pours like honey sweet, thick and gold,
It captures the gaze in eyes that unfold,
Those rays touch her eyes and illuminate there,
A flower so coarse and unbearably fair,
That all those who look into her eyes and stare,
See petals of honey, golden and bright,
Encased in a rapture of glistening light,
It colors her soul hues of earth, rich and deep,
A symphony of golden glimmers that seep,
Her tears seem like dew on the petals they keep,
Gods beautiful mistake, it takes after those eyes,
And there in the soft glow hidden it lies,
You will see it whenever she looks towards the sky.

Fingers ****** digging deeper,
A razor lined ring upon her finger,
Blood from her hand starts to drip,
On the carpet red and thick,
A razor lined ring upon her finger,
Forever will that stained blood linger.

Blood is dripping down her wrist,
The only thing she knows wont twist,
Though pain and anguish make her die,
She still will think, “I’ll never cry”.

As she lies on cold hard floor,
Crimson blood from her body pour,
She dies in the way she lived,
She will hate, she’ll never forgive.

A ****** razor falls to the ground,
Without a heart will make no sound,
Cold, alone had nowhere to go,
Found in her blood drenched in the flow.

She lies in a grave that says, “She is now dead”,
She made cuts from razor for the tears she had shed.

She ran away from all the pain,
With a shattered soul she would obtain,
Hated unwanted with nowhere to go,
She’d always she hurting but no one would know.

She tells herself her lives a mess,
She wants to sleep, eternally rest,
She wants to die sad and hurt,
She’s sick with the pain she can’t divert,
She wants away from all the lies,
She wants to live without stifling cries.

She can’t be happy when she’s alone,
She can’t stay where she has no home,
She can’t go back without memories,
She can’t show the scars when no one sees,
She can’t be loved when she hides it away,
She’s misunderstood so she never can stay.

She wasn’t afraid when she drew her last breath
She had found her escape, her cure was death,
She won’t be remembered and she won’t be missed,
So please if you would listen to this.

Look for a grave unmarked and unknown,
And remember this girl; she’s found her home.

I hear your voice that whispers a name and I can’t help but cry,
That name you whisper can’t be mine and to tell you is a lie,
I hear these whispers fade away and footsteps slowly leave,
I crawl away into the dark to be alone and grieve,
Memories once fresh and new are now rotten and cold,
You are gone my soul is dead or at least that’s what I am told,
You reject my heart so many times but still I turn to you,
Help me please it’s all I think and all I think is you,
I’ve been over you a thousand times and I’d brave it all again,
Just to see you one last time this is my prayer amen.

My hands are ****** but you can’t see,
The torn up soul I feel in me,
I try to hide the scars I’ve made,
But it’s getting harder and they won’t fade,
My hearts been broken it will not heal,
And I can’t explain the way I feel,
All I hear are shouts are cries,
I feel the pain as someone dies,
To hate a world that hates me back,
To only dream is what I lack,
Forever being a hopeless cause,
Wishing I could make time pause,
And rewind, and stop at the end,
They say when your born life starts that depends,
The start is the end when you’re tired of breath,
And want only a cure that leads you to death,
The start is the end but that’s just for me,
Maybe they’ll understand but how can they see?

I can hear you screaming in the darkness that I fear,
I can see your helpless eyes filling with your tears,
I can never help you and I feel so deject,
Always smashing mirrors for my sins they will reflect,
I see you curled up as they tare apart  your soul,
The crimson blood flowing with the sense of time in toll,
I will forever continue this and that you know is true,
It’s a hopeless little prayer that I sadly made for you,
Please understand I really tried so hard,
But even now all my efforts only left you scarred,
I know I was the voice deep inside your head,
I truly wanted to save you and remember what you said,
Please, I pray, forgive me for I know that I was wrong,
Making you so weak whenever you were strong,
I watch the coldness in your sad and lifeless eyes,
Filled with nothing but the dark and painful lies,
I watch as the razor falls towards the ground,
Dropping from your hand now waiting to be found,
I always see the cuts that are as deep as bone,
And I curse myself for ever leaving you alone,
I pray you now with saddened love, please come back home.

The darkness just won’t let go,
From my eyes the crimson flow,
You won’t see what I don’t show,
You can’t be when I don’t know,
I hear the screams of all the pain,
The injustice they contain,
I see you crying in the rain,
The whispers stay deep in my dreams,
Nothing there is what it seems,
My faith is what I can’t redeem,
I wish this would all just end,
Hating all the time I spend,
Never trust your deepest friend,
Indecisive are all of my thoughts,
Leaving my body behind as it rots,
Still battling the dark I’ve fought,
I can bleed my body dry,
But my soul refused to die,
And to myself I always lie.

If I can’t see you does that mean you see me?
If I can’t hear words that you speak let it be,
I hear you calling her name in my head,
Hiding my wrists and the tears that I’ve shed,
Your face it haunts me inside every dream,
I close my own eyes and watch yours as they gleam,
Now I must run away, run away here to cry,
Swallowing all of the dark in a lie,
Hollow threats an empty heart speaking these I hear,
Betraying all my memories of everything I fear,
Can’t you see me hurting in my sad and lifeless eyes?
Blinking all my life away as my body slowly dies,
Taking all I give too you and asking so much more,
Prying at my torn up heart as I try to close the door,
Why can’t you hear my screaming do you close it all away?
Don’t you see that when you push me farther I just want to stay?
And as I turn and start to leave do you start to feel my pain?
Will you now run to me, me standing in the rain?

I see you in a different way,
I shudder when I start to say,
Through different eyes I would see,
A troubled soul standing with me,
But I won’t laugh or walk away,
With you I’ll talk with you I’ll stay,
Cause you and me are just the same,
Were both ****** up and put to blame,
Raging pain lives in you,
But that pain lives in me too,
We need not talk words won’t heal,
Only looks show how we feel,
You may be happy around some girl,
But in your eyes a different world,
I see the bones that lay in heaps,
I see the monsters as they creep,
A deselent wasteland you call a life,
Though happy and full is what you strive,
Please I know the way you feel,
Through different eyes someone can heal.

Lying here in loneliness,
A fakeness only me,
To know the pain beyond the face,
Of all the people see,
You cry to me an unknown source,
To tell is not a crime,
Think of it as symphony,
A phrase behind the rhyme,
The whispers that are in my ears,
An unforgiving lie,
For everything I touch and see,
They will and always die,
So whisper me sweet sorrows,
To an unforgiving place,
Help to find a dismal mask,
To put upon my face,
I’ll cry to you  my story of a cold,
And rotten pain,
And you will be my final tomb, my forever pending rain,
And let the eyes of crimson flow,
To all the people see,
My eyes will know reflection,
Of all that life will be,
Either that of cold or a sadness,
Yet unnamed,
You see it now to cold and small,
And broken to be shamed,
So cut my wrists and bleed,
My blood for angels all to see,
And pin me up in crucifix,                                                                                                                                                    For all we do decree,
And whisper me sweet sorrows,
To an unforgiving place,
Help to find a dismal mask,
To put upon my face,
I’ll cry to you my story of a cold,
And rotten pain,
And you will be my final tomb, my forever pending rain.

Help me; save me don't erase me from your memories,
Never knowing cease to showing all of whom I please,
The color crimson is my death and it will always be,
For darkness swallows all my tears until I shall not see,
Fear forever death will sever life of who you lie,
So **** the calling of all falling for them all to cry,
Collect my thoughts of cold and evil cease to ever know,
Never living always shifting let the river flow,
Now call upon a ghastly deed and see it to be done,
And call the dead awaken it and light will soon be shunned,
So do remember all forever that you cried for me,
And I will never they remember all you made me see,
And glaze my eyes forever dies and bleed a ****** tear,
For what you see is only lifeless traumatized by fear,
And now I lye in cold and painless tombs of you and cry,
One tear I shed for all ahead and soon you know will die.

Why can't I hide am I afraid?
If I had stopped would you have stayed?
If I had died would you have cared?
if I had died would you be scared,
Would you have tried to steal my pain?
Kiss me and hold me alone in the rain,
Try to remember the tears that I cried,
Glare into to me as I told you and lied,
Can I go back and tell you my hate,
Change my own destiny change my own fate,
Cold and alone awaiting the end,
No longer I know I cannot defend,
My heart it has died bled fully dry,
And now I lay lifeless but still my eyes cry.

I live to die and die to know,
The way of life the blood of flow,
Remember all you can't restrain,
You captivate the dream with pain,
My nightmares haunt and nothing's real,
Forever will I bleed to feel,
The corner helpless of my eyes,
Distort the horror of my lies,
I’ll try to run but I will fall,
I’ll try to hide but then stand tall,
You know the cold and I feel numb,
Feeling destroyed I will succumb,
A craving to hard to ignore,
The tears from my eyes they pour,
A hurting to deject to tame,
a toneless voice I cannot name,
A place that puts your hell to shame,
And that’s my mind a wilting flame.

Look into my eyes, what do you see?
Do you see nothing, or do you see me?
Of course you see nothing cause you’re never there,
You can't tell by my voice if I am crying or scared,
And I am sick of this game and I want it to end,
Of all of my life meeting you I’d suspend,
So I wouldn't be able to feel the pain,
Of wanting to drown as I walk in the rain,
Cause you know it's not him it's always been you,
You hate him so much but you hate yourself to,
And you cry for so long that you can't even speak,
And then curse you again for being so weak,
But you will still melt in his arms you will stay,
And then the next morning regret the last day,
And you'll pray you don't see what you already seen,
So you'll hide your thoughts away from what’s already been,
But still you will love him with all of your heart,
Cause hate and love you can't tell apart.

My footsteps echo on the street I think about the pain,
Of life and love and everything I am walking in the rain,
It trickles down my fingertips it hides away my tears,
The beat is soothing always moving awaken all my fears,
As I walk it blinds my eyes and I am blurred and slow,
Hearing all around me now I listen to the flow,
My thoughts are slowly washed away without a second thought,
The darkness that would haunt me the darkness that I fought,
Is gone not here awaiting for the rain to be alive,
And when it stops it all comes back my thoughts are so deprived.

This life is more than I can bare,  
My eyes now hold a lifeless stare,
My blood has stopped its retched flow,
My breathe is cold and deathly slow,

I try to tightly close my eyes,
But then I see my life of lies,
The razor drops down from my hand,
My knee’s now shake they cannot stand,

I try to speak but nothings there,
I heed the warnings with a stare,
I gaze into abyss and more,
And then they came my soul they tore,

A note to the living for I am now dead,
Is the start of the note that I dismally read,
As I started to cry and then fell to the ground,
I lifelessly lay here without any sound,  
A note to the living for I am now dead,
Was the end of the life that my tears have now shed.

To cry a sin and breathe a prayer,
A hopeless and yet focused stare,
She yells to him confessions still,
He listens and his eyes now ****,
She hopes he one day understands,
He lets her heart bleed where it lands,
She gives no love her eyes are dead,
He hasn’t slept his face is red,
She cries to him a whispered curse,
He gives a look to make things worse,
She hides her face she’s done with him,
He’s shaking now in every limb,
She tries to leave he grabs her hand,
He takes her heart from where it land,
She starts to cry it’s all to much,
He holds her hand like it’s a crutch,
She looks to his now blurry form,
He looks at her within the storm,
To tell someone the prayer has died,
Will remind you girl that he had cried.

She holds him close she won’t let go,
The waves in her heart slowly they flow,
Dreaming of ******, hatred, and tears,
Slowly they turn into her fears,
Wanting to **** the passion will grow,
Not telling the ones that already know,
Jealousies fire is ready to taunt,
Remembering nightmares all that they haunt.

She cries alone no wonders why,
They never will know lie after lie,
And yet the one that see’s right through you,
Is the one that did this to you,
Take my hand let me lead you through this,
Deny temptation of a last goodbye kiss,

So hold your head up you will make it,
If you get the chance to leave then take it,
No one will stop you if you start to run,
Being alone won’t bring out the sun.

She cries alone no wonders why,
They never will know lie after lie,
And yet the one that see’s right through you,
Is the one that did this to you,
Take my hand let me lead you through this,
Deny temptation of a last goodbye kiss.

To hurt the ones that hurt you first,
To spill the blood to quench the thirst,
To fall the withered stories still,
The pain of all the tears they spill,

Fall down the rain unheard by screams,
Untold by terror in their dreams,
The whispers still they haunt my thoughts,
Lies within my soul it rots,

Catch the rain and steady fall,
Remain the one who hears the call,
Close your eyes and hear them cry,
Let tears escape through swollen eye,

Hold them close within your mind,
Instead of silver blood is lined,
Shiver from the heat not cold,
Remember all that they have told,

Now only you are left to pass,
The story of the death to fast,
Fall to your knees and cry for them,
The ones who died the roses stem.

Cold, alone it frightens me a trance within a state,
I can’t escape my shadowed cage I cannot change my fate,
The grab and torture me in mind inside my very soul,
My bodies weak my eyes are dull my hairs as dark as coal,

They found me and they won’t let go I try to hear the pain,
Of all the ones around me still but I don’t hear blood stain,
Silently but one by one they fall without a sound,
Some young some small some crying tears still falling all around,

They stare at us with golden eyes and sometimes crimson blood,
It pools around all of our feet every days a flood,
We think it’s what they drink and eat but thoughts are dead and cold,
It’s been like this always everyday since the day my soul was sold.

Trapped inside I can’t escape,
Alone tonight a darkened shape,
You cannot see what I won’t show,
Let blood from your body flow,
My mind is cold a thoughtless mass,
I see the light in which I pass,
Take my hand and cut apart,
I beg the nightmares not to start,
I try to scream my voice is gone,
I once was weak but now I’m strong,
You cannot keep me from my blood,
And through the light, the darkness flood.

Catch the rain don’t let it fall, don’t let it hit the ground,
Hear the thunder do not run, let lightning fall around,
Raise your head unto the air, and feel the spray of cold,
Forget the pain don’t let it show, forget all you’ve been told,
Cast away the haunted dreams, don’t let it rule your heart,
Become one with all around, it can’t tear you apart,
Though it will grab with tortured hands, don’t let it get to you,
Run so fast that light can’t see, let yourself be true,
It will find you that is sure, and you will be to weak,
To stop it or even resist, it won’t let even let you speak,
You see it wants you and so bad, that it is going to die,
Through all the running you have done, the dark will always pry.

Nightmares screaming memories of things I can’t explain,
The thunder cracks above my head and I can hear the rain,
I raise my hand to wipe my eyes still swollen from the tears,
I try to run my fingers through my hair, through all my fears,

A flash of light illuminates despair though out the haze,
Suddenly I see myself and I am left in daze,
I’ll plead for life and be denied for I am all but truth,
So all I will be able to is die I’ll die for you,

My fragile bones but starved and cold will break without a thought,
I’ve ran for all my life but still again they found me, caught,
Suddenly my tears are wiped away by soft and warm,
I feel no rain, no cold, no sadness, there is now no storm,

I graze into a non-existent state but I am pulled back,
A voice is screaming light is beaming all of what I lack,
My ebony is pulled away and I am lift to air,
The features of a stranger focus on a face so fair,

I try to smile up at him he cries my name with love,
He seems so tall angelic still he comes for me above,
I close my eyes my time is done for all I wished to see,
Was one last glimpse of him to take his loving face with me.

Cry for me like I have done,
Stay with me I care for none,
The hatred stays I cannot ****,
My eyes now heat with blood they fill,
I cannot die my soul lives on,
I do not live my greatest con,
My life of death it cannot change,
Never will they feel deranged,
They watch me run but do not see,
They know I am there but cannot be,
Lying with my ace of fakes,
I hear them all and raise the stakes,
I look into the mirror here,
My face have never looked so clear,
I see the dark without the sun,
I see a soul they have undone,
I look away but still see lies,
And as I walk away, he dies.

He looks at me I look away,
I try to move I cannot sway,
He turns to leave I start to cry,
I feel my heart can only die,

It’s been so long my souls been hurt,
Light into dark is all they convert,
I look in the mirror and see nothing there,
I look at my face only see a fake stare,

Why can’t I just run to a far away place,
Existently dead with no one to face,
I am trying so hard and failing so far,
I am not even hearing my songs to a star,

My gift is forgiveness but not the right kind,
Of darkness and ****** and hatred they find,
I close the book on a life that I end,
I put away something I never will send,

The dream of the hopeless and horrible way,
In my mind it will be in my mind it will stay,
And I will not stop until I don’t see,
The moon and the sun won’t stop staring at me,

If I hear a small whisper to soft for the ear,
I end my own life for the innocents fear.

Why can’t I see am I not enough?
Why can’t I breathe is living to tough?
I hear them all screaming and crying in pain,
Why don’t I matter have I gone insane?
How can I miss him like I miss the rain,
Can’t I just run now and hide my poor face,
All broken and fake with the pretenders race,
Is music enough to numb someone’s soul?
Midnights now struck my twelfth midnight toll.

Understand the words that everyone ignores,
Listen to the cries as the tears and rain still pours,
Carry in your arms a burden not yet passed,
A distant faintly knocking of a person also last,

See the ghostly rivets in the present blood and pain,
Crying as they fall and watching blood begin to stain,
Don’t forget my thoughts as they fade into our cries,
Bleed for all the horror as you see them in our eyes,

If you find a torn up cage in which you find me dead,
You’ll see the thing that killed me most in hands of crimson red,
In hands as such you’ll hear the rhythm I can’t tell apart,
My eyes will show that in your hands there lies my lifeless heart.

I hate the way you stare at me with ever changing eyes,
I loath the way you push and pull ignoring all my cries,
I envy all you have, you take, you feel and mostly love,
I distress the kind of game you play when all you do is shove,

I hope you find that someone close and hope you’re happy too,
But mostly I hope they do exactly what to me you do,
You play a sick and twisted messed up version in your mind,
Tying all the pieces up for all of us to find,

The scorned unhappy miscreants that hollowed out your soul,  
We fought and played with every singly breath were told to hold,
And so we slowly fade away I am sure that’s what you want,
Ignore us and we’ll go away the missing do not taunt,

And so we crawl with all distorted limbs and bleeding eyes,
To haunt the one creator who, and still, ignores our cries.

Don’t you understand or see,
That what you’re doings killing me,
I don’t regret or take it back,
I only wish to know I lack,
In love in death in life in lies,
You can’t see anything with eyes,
You can see love or hate or pain,
You can’t see loss or even gain,
I don’t know how and I am not clear,
On exactly what you fear,
But losing you has made my heart,
Start and stop and stop and start,
I wish you’d choose or end it all,
Cause all you do is make me fall,
And I won’t feel a different way,
And all I want to do is stay,
But all you really have to say,
Is tell me just to go away.

A crystal ice forms like fate holds his heart,
Only my fire can burn him free,
Only my touch can sooth his wounds,
Only my words allow him to be,

No other man could catch me with flames,
Like fire with ice, nameless with names,
Only my love could create such a world,
One without moon, one without sun,

Befitting us both but no other one,
Only the angels will know of our love,
As hot as the ice as cold as the sun,
Feathers can fall but softly above,

i call him my own, to him I belong,
Whispers of breathe form wordless my song,
A future no other could think to come true,
As you belong with me, and I stay with you.

Tell me a story that ends with a lie,
Begins with an angel collapsed in his cry,
Sing me a song as loud as you mean,
As soft as your whisper as coarse as your scream,
Gasp in my ear your words as you pass,
Dreadful with sorrow you saved just for last,
Cry in my arms and describe all your pain,
Your hatred and lonely days left in the rain,
Watch all the feathers they fall to the ground,
Blood stained with horror yet making no sound,
Wrapped in his melody silently soft,
Savagely vain, yet leaving no mark,
Now mutter your secrets from which you had ran,
For I lie in my tomb and I can’t understand.

I enter a dark room and see one shed of light
It’s small and fragile and it blankets a child
A small girl of innocence trapped in the shadows.
Acidic whispers echo in her mind
She whimpers and calls out for herself
Her arms become a straight-jacket.
She pulls them around her
Harder and harder till black spots blur her vision
Better black spots rimmed with gold than the darkness that waits.
The shadows creep up her skin she pulls herself tighter
Maybe she’ll die.
Maybe she will survive her.
The gold of the black turns to light summer air
The scent of the wet dirt replaced by wildflowers
The sound of laughter invading her mind
Grows louder and louder.
Sadistic and deafening
A symphony of words spiral around her
Lies, truth and beckoning the darkness now stirs
It moves ever softly and crawls up her flesh
Nostrils fill with metallic rust and damp humid earth
Wildflowers float away and summer breeze recedes.
The shed of light a small wax candle
Melted into the floor
The silhouette of darkness reaches out of the gloom and folds itself around it
She can’t even see the smoke rise as it dies and she’s suddenly gasping for breath
She’s screaming and clawing and the brick walls around her
The serrated edge cuts at her palms
The salt from her swollen tears sting her cuts
She holds them in her hands
Her winter skin laces with darkness
The flame she once felt, out
Just like the candle.
She can’t face what pushes through the darkness
The memories so longingly shunned.
Who remembers such small things besides your innocence
So I watch my child self as her ****** hands fall to her lap.
Fingernails attached to the red smeared rock
She can’t fight
Can’t breathe
Can’t see
She dies
My innocence.
My light
My life.

Hear the chorus of moans and cries,
Distraught in sorrow and covered in lies,
An ebony symphony tormented by sin,
Not of their own but of winter white skin,

I see them, broken, beaten, hated,
Abused, refused, and fornicated,
By **** and lustful molestation,
Helpless still an entire nation,

Watch tiny hands of tear stained youth,
Be ripped away from shreds of truth,
From loving fingers do they pry,
The small away, now most will die,

I see them sobbing gasping for breath,
Eyes blurred and swollen smelling of death,
Terror instilled on the hearts of so many,
As they’re are sold for the worth of a penny,

You’re cruel and you’re vicious you know not what they faired,
You’re words drip with acid sadistically shared,
You carry infection and taint all those near,
I bring you dear folks the esteemed auctioneer,

The slayer of hope with malicious intent,
With a cross in his hands he believes he’ll repent,
As I watch from the corner of life so ill fated,
Blood pours from the wounds on the backs now serrated,

My eyes know no mercy and I’ll **** with a glance,
I know nothing of black, white and grey filled with chance,
I speak for the demons that live off the hate,
Thrive on the loathing of these people’s fate,

There are no angels in this room filled with pain,
After all who could stand in this blood filled domain.

Rough hands used to hold my own,
And still the small bird sings,
They shared my bed and shared my home,
The golden bird death brings,

The shadows seemed so far away ,
Attached to moonlight skin,
Who’d bring it back to where he stay,
And choke the song within,

A golden ray of light there lies,
Within a dreary hell,
Among translucent smog it dies,
A death toll time will tell,

The siren sobs its mournful cry,
Where gentle hands won’t tread,
I pray the little bird may fly,
I unravel like a thread,

I trip and fall a dozen times,
I sob a sirens mournful wail,
A feeling not expressed in rhymes,
I know m mind it will not fail,

A little bird within a cage,
The golden light it now does fade,
Fall to my knees so false is rage,
The bird like me a shade.

I whip myself towards them,
The shadows fall around,
******* forsaken graveyard town,
I scream without a sound.
    
Through blackened dust he does emerge,
Eyes wide shut like broken glass,
My mind and heart within me serge,
I turn to lips where rhyme would pass.

And at my feet lies a broken rose,
Not long without its stem,
Once in sweet compose,
Now in black condemn.

My head upon his coal filled chest,
Feels like my hearts undone,
The lullaby has paused to rest,
And now his song is sung.