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Sam Greig-Mohns Mar 2013
The last picture I have of you in my mind was with blood on your lips
the way you smiled and told me not to be afraid
even though you were the one dying

How my hands felt too small as I tried to catch the life that was running out of you and put it back
but it just kept slipping through my fingers

My last memory of you was holding my hand as we walked together
not that we were in love
just because you were my friend and I liked knowing you were always right there

Telling stories about ghosts that dwelled in the halls of our school as we sat in detention together
for a fight we never started

When you rescued me
but all the teacher saw was you
with blood on your fist
and me
right there beside you

When you came to school with bruises
but still smiled

You fell at the park you would say and laugh
a laugh that made your eyes sparkle
like you read about in romantic books

But I knew

You never fell

You were the grace in my awkward silence of a life
you flew when I crawled, smiled when I could only look on in awe and wonder how
how the park was never the reason you came carrying your own pain as much as mine

Could still say you loved the man badly playing the part of a father
though really he was just a man that lived with your mother

When he was the reason you lied to our teacher
that you had fought with your brother
the reason you had come to me with an eye so black it was nearly shut

I never told you I knew you were an only child

I watched in awe of how you could love so intensly and completely that nothing ever touched your heart
not even when it broke your skin

I watched your life burn like a bonfire
beautiful and intense
you were the passion in everything

I was a candle flame beside your light
flickering with fear and doubt
but your spirit never dimmed
and your warmth gave me hope

Be strong you said
be brave and never afraid
like you always knew

Knew that the most passionate and brightest fires burn the fastest
like the kindness, love and acceptance we try so hard to learn in our candle flame lives
you always knew

Your fire loved everything
from the sunlight to the bruises
the rainy days
school yard fights
and my tears on your face

The harsh color of the blood on your lips
never could hold anything to the light of your flame

Don't be afraid said the bonfire to the candle
some day we all go out
Sam Greig-Mohns Mar 2013
you asked
I smiled
my only answer
forever of course
Sam Greig-Mohns Mar 2013
There were stitches up her leg
watching her walking slight ahead
crossing the street as the skin slowly pulled apart at her seems
transfixing crimson drops
they would fall slowly I thought

I blinked

Just a tattoo nothing more
the blood was gone, I looked away

She turned the corner, I waited for the bus
I watched the edge of her skirt disappear around it
like the coat tails of the white rabbit
looking down, eyes closed
what would that be like...?

A rabbit in a waistcoat skirted the edges of my thoughts
the wind teased cool fingers at the back of my neck

Feels like flying doesn’t it…

A disembodied voice chipping away at my daydream
I ignore it, instead conjuring a hole under my feet just like Alice

What is? my voice answered for me
another chip breaking away
I started down the hole

The wind… when it blows like that it feels like flying

I wished the voice would leave
I wouldn’t know I’ve never flown…

Neither have I…

I could hear the voice smiling
a crack of light broke through my daydream
I turned away from it catching a glimpse of blue coat tails just around the corner

Why is it like flying then?
another chip…

Why isn’t it?

Go away I thought bitterly
the bodiless voice laughed softly
cool air teased my neck, back of my shoulders
I heard the bus pulling up to the stop

Be seeing you then?

My daydream crumbled away into reality
I opened my eyes still looking down

No…
the only answer

Hmm… that’s too bad

Another pause
I looked at the bus doors opening to admit me

Well goodbye then… Alice…

It was smiling again
I shivered, turning to put a face on the voice
Dress it in something more then the sound of its smiling

No one, I stood alone with the breeze kissing my skin and smiled a little

Goodbye… Cheshire cat
Sam Greig-Mohns Mar 2013
I have pockets full of suffering
Stuffed to the brim with doubt
Enough tears to fill an ocean
But enough love to dry it out
I’ve walked a thousand miles with many pairs of shoes
Worn out all my zippers and learned to sing the blues

I’ve seen the tops of mountains
Watched rainbows kiss the sky
Felt the snap of a lightning crack
And earned all my patches too

I’ve held locks of lovers’ hair
Carried shame and pity too
Crossed the spaces on a map
Though on paper they were just an inch or two

I’ve listened to your whispers
Your admiration and your pride
How you can love every part of me
Even those I try to hide

You love my worn out zippers
My pockets full of fears
My heart held on with shoe strings
And the dirt earned over years

You told me I was beautiful
For all the things I’d seen

I told you, you were crazy
But keep talking anyways

I know I’ll settle down one day
When the world feels not so new

My threads will be much thinner then
And I’ll need some patching too

But I hope you’ll still think me beautiful
For all the things I’ve seen with you
Sam Greig-Mohns Mar 2013
Sitting in the world’s most uncomfortable chair as I readjust my seat for the sixth time… it seems to be a futile effort.
An overweight man in a grey jogging suit is walking in, his white shoes leave wet foot prints across the faded carpet as he crosses the room and begins taking up the chair opposite me with a heavy sigh as though he has walked a long distance though I can see his car through the half closed blinds.

I think the carpet used to be red, like the long carpets they use in the lineup to see Santa but now it is a muddy color… like the water one might use to rinse paint brushes after it has been used too much.

The woman beside me is wearing a faded floral print dress, she smells like garlic and is snoring softly a rumpled romance novel clutched in one hand as her head nods forward onto her chest.
I watch it rise and fall slowly for a few long moments before finally pulling my eyes away again and look towards the desk where the blonde receptionist is sitting.

Her hair is pulled back into a messy bun and there is a pen stuck in it to keep it in place, the pen is blue… or black I think but there is a red cap on it.
She is wearing those nurses’ scrubs they are a faded purple color with chains of daisies decorating them.  

I look past the blonde receptionist and her messy bun with the blue… or black pen with the red cap sticking out of it to the hallway with its bright lines of light and glossy floors.

Another woman is walking out of one of the doors, I can’t see it but I hear it close loudly in the silence, the woman beside me with the faded floral print dress jumps a little snuffling and grunting her dime store romance novel held up before her like a shield before she realizes it was just a door.

Just like the overweight man in the grey jogging suit as he to tries futilely to get comfortable in one of the world’s most uncomfortable chairs, I don’t think he has ever jogged… maybe he just likes the color.

The woman beside me is slouching a little further down in her chair... in another moment she is snoring again softly, I watch the woman who just came out of the unseen door.

She has a little boy with her, he is wearing black puddle boots and Spiderman pajama pants his coat is blue with black racing stripes down the back… he is tugging at the woman’s hand and saying something in another language.

She hushes him and turns back to the receptionist with the messy blonde bun, I watch as she reaches for the pen that is holding it in place… that one that might be blue or maybe black with the red cap on the end before she stops and picks up a black pen off the desk and writes something on a slip of paper before handing it to the woman.

She looks tired, her black hair is braided loosely and strands are falling into her face.
There are large dark circles under her eyes and she dressed in faded jeans and a grey windbreaker with the crest of a sporting goods store I have never heard of embroidered across the shoulder.

The boy is tugging at her hand again and as she turns to look at him she wearily sweeps her gaze over the rest of the room before she answers him.
Her voice is very soft with a practiced kind of patience most parents have, though I can’t make out her words I am sure they are also in another language that I do not understand.

I watch as they boy runs towards the door and pushes all his weight against it making a great show of his strength as the door slowly swings outwards and he leans back against it digging his boots into the muddy colored carpet as the woman follows him out.

The man in the grey jogging suit that has most likely never jogged before has gotten out of his world’s most uncomfortable chair and is eyeing the other still empty seats around him mentally trying to guess without having to walk over and try them which is the least uncomfortable.

He looks across to the woman beside me in the faded flora dress as she gives another snuffling murmur her fingers slowly letting the rumpled novel slip from them, it slides onto the floor and bounces before landing cover side up. Fields of Passion.

He looks at me and our eyes meet, I roll mine in a dramatic gesture of my opinion of the sleeping woman’s taste in reading... he smiles but says nothing and finally decided on another chair right beside the one he had before and sighs heavily as he settles himself into it.

I hear my name being called by the blonde receptionist with the messy bun held together by her blue or black pen with the red cap.
This time the snoring woman with the bad taste in novels doesn’t stir, the man in the jogging suit smiled a little as I pass him and I smile back before turning and disappearing down the hallway with the glossy floors and bright lines of light.
A totally dull moment made more interesting through super observance and creative story telling =)
Sam Greig-Mohns Feb 2013
Rage and sorrow gripped me then without ever thinking that in a moment I might inflict not just one but two black eyes on a boy that lived just down the street

Who I had, just the day before run and played with, laughed and joked while sitting on my grandmother’s front porch
In our hands tall cool glasses of different colored beverages, ice cubes bobbing

If time had frozen in that moment I might have had a chance to gauge the sudden surprise at my aggression
The cry of pain when my fist connected
Before he ran away

Looking down around my feet I took in the carnage of his deeds
The burnt up matches, those little boxes
And all those now dead butterflies

I recalled from half a block away
The flutter of light that had drawn me, with a twisted sense of irony
Only to watch with mounting horror

A tiny body
A flash of light
A smoldering of orange and white

I looked on for what seemed forever
Trapped by a cold mix of disgust and mourning
As he released that butterfly

Wings aflame it took to the sky
It was a cloudless summer night
A dancing candle, a tiny life
Sam Greig-Mohns Feb 2013
I watched you silently from my place amid the masses
As you sat alone on stage

Around you stood the empty chairs
Still awaiting instruments and bodies
But you didn’t seem to notice

Slowly drawing the bow across the strings
While fingers danced seemingly unaided

I sketched you then in my mind so that I might always remember the way your brow was furrowed
Hair astray in the fashion most expected by a being that has not slept in as many days as artists of unheard merit are apt to do

I traced the joints of your fingers curled around the dark wooden handle almost, but never touching the off white fabric that stretched between one point and the other

In my mind I found I could only liken you and your appearance to that of others I had only read of
All fictional of course

Here a wayward detective long since run down but never out sank his sorrows in a bottle while his mind fractured but still brilliant carried on

But then there were so many others that also came to mind, each tugging at the corners of my imagination with passionate desperation
Attempting in the only way they knew to be the sole capture of my attention

In this corner I found a journalist well traveled as he was versed, with the quality beseeching that of a gentleman hidden under two days worth of growth

But perhaps your likeness might be more suited to the air of a more scientific mind, secret genius cultivating cures for every kind of illness while still trapped in the depths of madness

I sat and watched as you played unnoticed for what seemed to me just a moment but was far more then that as my mind turned over the possibility of all the people you could have been

But when asked softly why didn’t I rise from my unnoticed place and put to rest my chaotic thoughts by moving close to speak to you if only for a moment

I resisted

What could I say to let them understand the path my mind had run
How I was unwilling to leave my seat, held there by this slight fear

That if I dared to find my voice, to rise and cross the space between the seats… to draw close enough that you might see me
All that I had imagined you to be would be crushed or somehow dulled by the harsh light of reality

You might not be a gentleman, suave and smooth with charm or reflect even a bit the madness of a scientist whose sanity has long since gone…
You might be so far from the truth that I’d never write this poem

So I sat silently in my place amid the masses

Watching you draw your bow across the strings while your fingers danced unaided
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