It is far enough away to
not dream about it.
However,
I am locked in this box and
insanity is setting in.
Watching the days paint
tainted ideas all over my prison.
Hidden from humanity,
I can only hope for a dream.
It will never come back to me,
no matter how hard I try.

How may I help you sir?
I am working on my customer service.
This is my new home.
Surrounded by thoughts and hard steel.
Would you like a tour?
Do you really have to go?
Okay than.

I am like a bull in a china shop.
Crashing into the walls and causing destruction.
Laughing all the while.
No one deserves to see me.
In a pile of broken glass and shelving.
Red,
blue,
yellow,
hatred.

The box has a slit in it.
I watch a curtain,
floral print and torn,
flow outside a window.
The building is falling down.
A testament to this area.
It knows what freedom is.
If these red bricks could tell their tale.
It would put everyone to sleep.

I will sleep tonight in my box.
Wishing the world away,
hoping for the axis to re-direct.
Saving my screams for a different day.
What will tomorrow bring?
Hours,
minutes,
seconds.
A countdown to the...
Let's count backwards.

If I threw an apple into a well,
would it splash or float?
The apple will never forget.

The rush of her skin and the rhythm of her breathing endlessly played in my head, relentlessly reminding me of the nervousness but perfection of that first night. The thought of her smile and the sympathetic tone of her voice sweetly synchronized with each rise and fall of my chest above the exhausted breaths I had taken.
The smell of her skin on that first night and the beautiful memory of her warm touch against the complexity of my aliveness left me cold and broken inside. Tears fall, but yet it still lingers on.
I could never forget how the sweet touch of her kiss awakened my lungs to a breath of life again, and I never wish to forget the sound of her warm, soft voice with tears in her eyes telling my deadened heart to beat again..And I laugh at myself as the tears roll down, listening to the shattering sound of the breaking in my heart. Knowing that I'd lost the chance to ever have a heart like hers, to have such a headstrong soldier fight for a soul so broken like mine again had me weak in the heart and my veins grew colder with each simple thought of it. I couldn't muster up the strength to find a simple smile to cover up the mess that had been made here, for I had loved a love I couldn't let to of. Each night I fall sleep with her beautiful, taunting memory on my ever so restless mind and all that lies within it. I awaken in an empty, cold bed as the blackened tears stain my face. My body remained still as my weakened arm outstretched to the edge of the bed searching for the warmth of her skin and the smell of her cologne on the pillows and sheets..I awaken only to find myself alone beneath the blankets in which we once exchanged body heat and the smiles that had finally become real, wishing her absence had been just a terrible dream.

My heart violently turns at the thought of always missing her, and yet I still need her..it's as simple yet complicated as that.
I'm sweetly broken, oh but babe...she was worth it. There isn't a time that I recall where she hadn't been worth it.

It's half 7 in the morning
and the shadow of night
is still gripping desperately onto the earth
not yet willing to be replaced with the sun
Darkness floods my window
yet I am still sitting here, fully dressed for school
hair done and makeup finished
does this mean I am finally organized,
does this mean I am in control at last?
Or does this just mean that I am sick
of my brain picturing scenarios in my head
that make my eyes brim with tears
and would make men of stone weep?
I believe that I am not awake, not fully,
part of me clings to sleep, the part of me
that shies away from the stress of school, and life
and in all honesty, I would much rather
be dreaming.