Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Sam Conrad Jan 2014
Children,
Don't listen to them.
Don't take the medication.
Don't do drugs.
They're mind controlling you.
I'm on drugs right now,
And I realize I'm only another numb slave in society on this ****.
Its okay to have feelings, children.

Its okay to feel pain.
Its okay to hurt.
The medication is horrible
Even though its bliss.
I know better.
Sam Conrad Jan 2014
Hug me please
I know it sounds like I've been barking
But hug me please
I know I did you wrong
But hug me please
You did me wrong too
And I'd forgive it all
If you'd only come back
And hug all my pain away
Nopenopenopenope

The cool thing about writing "nope" over and over is that within it are the words "open"...what you haven't been, with me.
Sam Conrad Jan 2014
My skin is seeping salty feelings, and cooking warm under the pressure of anxiety.
I just typed a series of monologues to your inbox again, but you don't seem to hear them.
It's 3:46 AM. I'm almost delirious. What is sleep? I spend about 14 hours in bed everyday.
I usually get 1-2 hours of sleep.
My tears have stained my pillowcase. Like, I don't turn the light on anymore because I see the stains.
In my room, it is very cold. I guess it's cold like me. Or is it really, just cold like you?
I'm lost and alone, and I'm afraid you'll never come back.
I need you back.
What did you not understand?
When I told you when we were still together, that I'd love you until the day I died?
When I told you after you forcefully dumped me, I'd have this problem until the day I died?
Because the day I die, in my last moments, I will finally be able to decide to give up on you.
At times, I've wanted to commit suicide.
Because if I'm not waiting for you,
I'm waiting until the day I die.
Oh look, another monologue.
Don't read this one.
Go hang with your girlfriend instead.
You already decided that's whats best for your health.
Sam Conrad Jan 2014
It's 2:12 AM...
My head is pounding
My mouth is dry
I'm muttering to myself and
I'm broken.

It's January 9th, 2014.
Your birthday is in three days.
I'm not allowed to come to the party,
Even though you mean more to me than anything else on Earth, and
I'm broken.

I'm not over you.
I don't think I will ever be...
But you say your sexuality is different now,
As if, if I didn't have a ***** maybe things would have turned out differently?
I'm broken.

Everything you say
About her, or about how happy you are about her,
Remind me of the similar things you once told me, so thanks for all those ******* memories...
Nevermind, whatever.
I'm just broken.

You played me a fool.
You tricked me.
You didn't only do that. I...
I believed in you.
But you've broken me.
Sam Conrad Jan 2014
That button doesn't do much for someone else's mind.
Goes both ways.
Wreck me more, I deserve it.
Just take me to the recycling center afterwards
And I'll pray
Not to be sold as scrap metal.
Worthless
Sam Conrad Jan 2014
Every time
I see
A Chevy Malibu
Part of me cringes
And

Every time
I see
A Ford Fusion
Part of me cringes
And

Both are really common vehicles
And

For the longest time, I was afraid to drive
Thinking I might run into one of them
And

When my car was in the shop last week
They gave us a Ford Fusion
And

That really upset me
And

It wasn't just you
But you really finished me off for them
Plus a ton more
Sam Conrad Jan 2014
How much I really love you.
How much I still love you.
How much I'll always want you.
Because I'm starting to believe that
A love like this is incomprehensible.
I know because I never understood it myself.
...
"Gone like the wind
And the state it put him in
To hold his head high
When he really wanna die
And you know the difference it makes
And you know all that it takes
Is love,"

The Black Keys - "So He Won't Break"
Next page