It really is odd, how we started out,
I had come from a relationship gone bad,
I really needed a friend.
In the most amazing coincidence, you saved my life,
You came to be my friend.

What happened next,
Our newly found friendship was so exciting,
How we made each other laugh,
And joked about smiling spleens,
Our friendship exploded with activity.

How you invited me over,
The night before your birthday just to hang out,
How we found each other locking lips, you in my lap,
How pure our feelings became in such a short time,
Oh, how our hearts were racing that night.

The next day was special,
It was magic, how we bonded,
The closeness between us, how cute everyone said we were,
How scared I was that day,
To ask you to be mine.

You said yes, and the next few months –
They were some of the best months of our lives,
We understood each other, poured our hearts and minds out,
It was so crazy how we just
Made each other happy.

Everybody saw it,
People gossiped about how cute we were and how perfect,
We really were so perfect, came together and became so invincible,
I still remember how,
How we fell in love.

The whole spring,
The amazing feelings every day, how wonderful things were,
We both found no ******, the love kept building and building,
Every look, every sound, every kiss,
We found true love.

But when we found true love,
Our love was everything, we began to see each other in the purest sense,
It became more than being carried away by infatuations and desires,
We found something special,
We weren't just a couple.


In all of that specialness,
I told myself I'd always love you, because I knew what I saw in you,
You were more than my girlfriend, you became the best friend I'd ever had,
Almost a sister to me, the peace of mind, the calm,
We found nirvana.

Then came June,
What started with a bang ended in such tragedy, I didn't foresee such horrible consequences,
Our love was so strong, but how quickly our advances became regressions,
I then regretted so much, I lost my calm, I became unsettled,
We became a train derailed.

Transitioning to July,
We never really got the train back up and running,
It was damaged from the derailment, it didn't want to move, we got so scared,
I became frantic, I became mean, cruel, cold-shoulder was almost my middle name,
How I'd forever be sorry.

I said hello to August,
When you were afraid of me because I'd become an animal,
When I saw it in your eyes it was almost too late,
You'd spent too many days crying, depressed, your parents began to hate me too,
I'd not been around for you.

Autumn began,
The leaves fell off the trees, and I tried so hard to please, but I couldn't,
Your eyes were so empty, your parents were fuming, I knew I let you down,
Oh, how hard I was kicking myself for being so awful to the love of my life,
Who didn't want to know me.

Today,

It took a little time after all of this for me to gather my brains.
You see, you were so much more to me than a lover, more than the love of my life.
You saved my life, from the beginning, and it's not my emotional justification but the truth.
You taught me how to be happy, made me forget how to hate myself.
You put so much color into my world, you sang me new songs.
The lengths to which I'd go to be the smile on your face again are far too great for my own good.

I wasn't in love with you. I loved you.
You as a person. Your brain, your soul, your will, your body.
You see, you'd become my soul mate, not my ****** partner.
You'd become someone I'd love forever, even if you didn't love me back, even if you were gone.
In a way, you became my sister, my freedom, my truth, my goal, my promise, and you grew on me.
You grew like the most beautiful gardens, you became what I lived for.

In the end, you were many wonderful things, but mainly one --
My trust.

A lie was once told
They turned the backs against me
Nobody looking

Raine...
What's in a name?
We long knew of our downfall
Our star-crossed love.
As our minds combined,
And our bodies mingled,
We joked we were doomed.

Raine,
What's in a name?
We fell into untouchable love
Our star-crossed love.
As our minds intrigued,
And our bodies harmonized,
We knew we were doomed.

Raine,
What's in a name?
You fell out our wonderful love
Our star-crossed love.
As my mind pleaded,
And my hands entreated,
I found *I was doomed.

I tried to be your spring,
but I wasn't sure which spring to be.

I tried to be a bouncy happy spring,
but I dropped just like a slinky.

I tried to be a seasonal spring,
but my flowers never bloomed.

I tried to be a fresh water spring,
but I quickly turned to fumes.

I tried to be your spring,
but I found I wasn't springy at all.

It was too late when I realized,
I was meant to fall.

That sweet girl --

She who looks down on her scars,
That girl whose name I'm prohibited to utter.

She looks down at her scars and she aches
And she aches from crying until 3 in the morning
When she felt accustomed to the dark,
When the dark was the only thing she could feel,
When her parents didn't love her,
When that boy broke her heart.

Sometimes,

She looks down at her scars and she cries
And she cries because she still sees them
She still sees them as the trails of blood at 3 in the morning
When she shook with her crooked smile,
Until she moaned “Oh my God”
And went to clean them up.

Sometimes,

She looks down at her scars and she's numb
And she's numb just like she was
Like she was in the moments which precursed them
When she stopped to stare,
At nothing in the dark
And proceeded to cause new feelings.

Every day,

She wakes up to a body she's not happy with
And she looks at herself in the mirror
Like what she sees is only horror and it's not just the scars
It's the mole on her skin, the stretch marks, maybe that freckle on her neck --
And then her scars
And she takes shelter in her clothing.

Once in a while,

She has a bad day to which she wears her favorite shirt
And she reserves it and wears it because it tells the truth
It tells a truth she needs to hear but she doesn't believe in
It's everything she needed to know, when she was alone at 3 in the morning
And she wears it
It keeps herself sane.

I am that boy,

That sweet boy --

He looks down at his scars and he aches
And he aches from crying until 3 in the morning
When he felt accustomed to the dark,
When the dark was the only thing he could feel,
When his parents didn't love him,
When that girl broke his heart.

But you see,
His scars are different --

He looks down at his scars and he cries
And he cries because he still sees them
He still sees them as the memories, both good and bad, burned forever in his mind
Then he shakes with his crooked smile,
Until he moans “Oh my God”
And he eventually finds his “happy place”.

Sometimes,

He looks down at his scars and he's numb
And he's numb just like she was
Like she was in the moments which precursed them
When they both stopped to stare,
At nothing in the dark
And proceeded to cause new feelings.

But the truth is,

It never should have been this way
Their scars are only battle scars
Battles in which they won, battles in which they lived through --
But when they both stopped to stare,
At nothing in the dark
They proceeded to cause new feelings.