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Sam Newton Apr 2015
Always off the cuff with my words and my ideas
Trying to flesh out all my thoughts and calculations
There seems we never get to enjoy our time in the dark
The allegory of the cave keeping us safe and feeling smart.

Its very late where I am. Starch white moonlight keeping me warm.
But just across a couple states, a couple bodies of water, a few more Geographical boundaries to endure we can find a new place. In fact, one can find a new place even closer... Though it may feel completely new to one who had not had the ability to perceive this area. If we count our senses how many do we really have? How much more does a particular emotion from one interaction make one feel than a sight, or a sound, or a smell? Or does the fact that we attach ideas to our senses with images make it another form of perceiving an area unknown to one before? The allegory of the cave again. How can we perceive the light if it is blinding? For whatever faith may be to one, it is the human heart which seeks it out. The curiosity from down south. A movement in the human core to believe that everything....will....be....okay. Faith. In something. It is important to find it in every interaction. Utility. Make it purposeful to oneself. Because no one wants a parasite. Contribute something meaningful because everyone needs insight.

Its like conversation, a trade off. The perks of trading an idea, the benefit you didn't know existed until its utility delivered itself to you.
The idea of convenience and luck, yet denouncing any omniscient plan.
What reckless beings we are to find solace in so many places, yet no where at all, when given too much thought. The study of entropy engrosses me with fraught. I am chaotically decaying everyday. Every human is. Its called dying, and one can only die if one is living, so enjoy the fact that one day you get to experience death and even create new life. It means only that you will be able to perceive differently however you may believe.

Now don't go seeking it out, but understand where it lies about.
Death is all around us.
But so is life, and life takes time and energy to enjoy. Be spontaneous because the natural world is. Understand it because you are a part of it. Enjoy outbursts. One mind controls a microcosm of interactions enveloped in emotion and imagery and sound and smells all in the same place. We just have to use our memory. Everyone has their own Mind Palace. A collection of ideas and random thoughts and things which stuck to the wall that is our meaningful existence. What are yours? What makes you tick when there's no time left? What is your eternal clock?
If not religion then what?
Sam Newton Jul 2014
I should have been home
Like Blaze Foley sang in the song, I'm
A Texas boy who left for a little too long.
I arrived to an empty throne, with an empty bottle,
Tears in my eyes. I didn't even question why.
I understood the moment wasn't mine.

When you try to save someone's mind
You'll forget your's in time.
People can only save themselves and even if you fight like hell,
It doesn't matter what you tell,
They must independently become well.

I have wasted too much time and too much energy for anyone to see the good that was in me.
I promise, I'm good, I promise I love you, but for now it might not be above you. It won't change anything but at least you know.
I regret not being at home.
More than ever I regret being alone.

It seems to me the only way to free,
Is to be the good old boy I claim to be.
Keep drifting tree to tree and hope some lovely lady sees.
Forgets what she didn't know and remembers my inner glow.

But I'm keeping my fingers crossed, that one day I won't be lost.
I just hope that it isn't too high a cost.

So today I'll get up and play, maybe even crack a smile that won't go away.
I miss my old ways, what everyone used to say. A happy boy who cared too much. That's what I like to think. Now I'm drowning in my drink.

Well throw me a life jacket, and call me a shrink.


I'm getting back there, to who I was and want to be. If that means I have to be naive, then I'll be dumb and free, but never mean.
I will always be second to the people I care about, and I'll probably break my back trying to sort it all out.

They say hope is wasted on the hopeless, well what is the person who brings them their hope? Is he wasted, or is that his purpose. To be used up with no return. I guess we will find out, and I'll let you know before I'm ashes in an urn.
Trying to help people who cannot or do not want to help themselves is very tiring, yet very noble in my mind. I will do anything for the people close to me, and if it means I am taken advantage of by giving too much I am quite alright with that. Because giving everything I can to the people closest to me is me.
Sam Newton Mar 2014
Am I leaving to start a new journey?
Or failing to satisfy my current yearning?

We stay up late and sleep too little. Devising our schemes.
Though no dreams, can be ignored. Even when being fickle, and rarely forward.
We pretend to contemplate, while we belittle
Our aspirations.

The lost generation, in the age of information.
An oxymoron, searching for the said promise of fortune.

It was all lies.
They squeal and creek as a damaged door hinge.
The door never opens, it can never be closed.
It remains a hole in a tremendous stone.
It's a pathway to our heart's catacombs.

The road less traveled?
Well it's only for the successful.
Which is yours to measure.

So then why is it all so stressful?
So high frequency?
Is there something in me that I can't see?
Something that I strive for, but possibly can't be?

Circular logic prevails as I slowly,
Inhale,
Exhale,
Possibly even,
Account in further detail.

Every kingdom needs a king.
Every dream must have a gleam.
A shine, an allure, a variable that will one day be your cure.
An idea that will free your soul.
An accomplishment which will make you whole.

But why am I telling you, what you already hold.
It rests inside of you, like a fire, steady to mold
The rest of your world, and influence your goals.

Dreams keep us grounded, they are what we desire.
All the while making us rise higher.

It's frightening, the possibility of missing one's mark.
But how will we know what we can achieve, if we never even


Start.
Chase your dreams. No matter how silly, or unfavorable by other parties. They are yours and yours alone to do with as you see fit.
Sam Newton Jun 2013
I am not some mere romantic
Hopelessly in love or seemingly frantic
I am simply a man with sophomoric antics.
Closing in fast and with my dreams supplanted
By what I can only imagine is a place unwieldily for simple magic.
For there are no dragons of ancient lore,
Nor, for me, beautifully tantalizing ******.
But simply mistakes of my past, to reach me at last.
I imagine everyone creates this place of loathings' past.
While some do not believe in hell defined by a scripture, I assure you somewhere in your eternal slumber you will experience the guilt of past discomfort.
I pray it is only for a second for you, not minutes or hours or years or eternities.
But to whom will I pray? Myself I dare not say. However there is no man in the sky to consider my actions against me, there is no entity impartial to judge lonely old me. There will always be a standard for justice, good, evil, loyalty, infidelity, and of course, people.
But who is our judge? Is it not oneself? And if not, then who else?
I say none have the authority to constrain one but himself.
And if he wish to abide by his own moral abomination, too far outside similar creations.
His life, it will be taken.
If you cannot answer to yourself, you cannot answer to anyone.
Sam Newton Jun 2013
I'm narcissistic, egotistical, over confident and certainly blissful.

Realizing this. It makes me love myself. A life of highs and lows. Looking for,
Just a little more to know. Looking for, a new way to grow.

It makes me hate myself. A life of empty smiles and hellos. Looking for,
Just a little more glow. Looking for, a new way to show.

It makes me Proud of  myself. The fact is, right now, I have no idea who I really am.

So, for now, I will be training to become a great man.

Please, don't let this be just a plan.
Sam Newton Jun 2013
Everything in life has a pattern,
Even Chaos.
The study of Entropy, I'm sure will
Pay off.
But how much will they let us experience
Before reviving our spirits?
Or will we lay dormant,
confused, cold, and lonely?
Before there's more of us
consumed, old, and owning.
A sense of pride for our lives, which we call experience.
Memories.
The ones we remember, and the ones why people fear us.
Entities.
Skipping the embers, and going straight to ashes.
We say they are laws. But that is just madness.
The conservation of ashes, breads no life, only more sadness.
Sam Newton Jun 2013
Five minutes to write this poem
Trying not to check my phone
Watch the time as it's flown
Hoping to god it's going home.

Knowing someday I'll be alone,
Instead just waiting to be grown
Looking for something to call my own.
Just wanted to see what I could come up with in 5 minutes at 5:23am
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