The world will end in Fire or Ice
Concluding in an equally fierce way
People often enquire "Which would I prefer?"
Honestly my dear, I'd prefer not to say.
I relish and crave the nourishment of heat
Yet in the sun I cannot cope.
I retreat from the bite of the cold
But with the frost, I long to elope.
People ask: "Do I fear death?"
Am I scared of reaching my end?
If I was being truthful, I only fear one death
I am scared of drowning, my friend.
If the waves caught me, I'd rather die of thirst
Than beg for a dampened gasps of air
I would look Reaper and Lord in the eye
Tell them "Your ideals are cruel and unfair"
For I have learned to live without air
Ever since my heart shattered,
When he took my breath away.
My lungs caved in like hollow pools
Teaching me a vital lesson.
In this corrupted world,
There are far worse things than Fire and Ice

I don't know why, but I do
I torture myself for you
Slit my wrists and burn my skin
Whilst I hideaway the tears within
I don't know why, but I do
I seem to cry when thinking of you
Dizzy in my hysteria I drown in sorrow
Only to do it all again tomorrow
I don't know why, but I do
I blind myself when I see you
Collapse then pour acid in my eye
So I may find the truth behind the lie
I don't know why, but I do
I deafen myself when I hear you
Scream until I lose my sense
My pulse radiates a pain so immense
I don't know why, but I do
I try to defend and justify you
I need to accept my stupidity
And realise you never think of me
I don't know why, but I do
**** myself to remember you

Why do I find salvation in written words
Confiding in scribbles that resemble text
Human company proves little satisfaction
Yet little books ease my mind
Quarantined in my familiar chambers
A creature of habit; I begin to write.
Expressing stresses and confusion
Struggles and my constant fight
Will this bud emerge in spring sunshine
Or will it prove to be a useless ****
Deluded by expectations and dreams
A mere fickle and tainted seed
Drowning in toxic hatred
Experimenting and seeking refuge
Darkening and vile vices
Engraving a scar so huge
I live in these crisp pages
Coherent ink marks my tale
Yet my story is incomplete
My journey is yet to sail

Panting again I rest
Only now I think of the day
Innocent  gossip in D Block
Adventures of zip-up jackets
Covering a costume gold pendant
Looking at friends through my hair
A fringe that dominates and annoys
Stray eyebrows that linger between deep eyes
Mermaid kicks spray me
Keeping me company when I think
If I could go back I would
Somewhere away from damp air
Like Switzerland or Dalmatian Coasts
Away from denim dungarees on muddy hills
No more ground sheets in his rucksack
Just friends, my cold hands and uneven locks
Closed roads trap me, Typical council
Often fond of stationary cups and dusty hoovers
Just run, be proud to be there up and on
Along D.S Alley throwing my trainers into the boots bay
Avoiding the tainted Dene and his bravado remarks
Those too familiar faces you adapt to loathe
Not listening to banter just a shower and my herbal tea
Off to do revision is my excuse to wonder why I
Accept it and go on tomorrow's dawn is bright

Silent tears bewitch my mind
Icy fingers caress my soul
Sickening thoughts consume me
A faint pulse they stole
Evil desires taint my logic
Through my desperate quest
Striving for deluded perfection
A reflection I detest
Golden curls disappear
Tired eyes dominate
Companions nervously enquire
"How much have I ate?"
Obsessions take control
Forgetting about all that I care
Procrastinating with anxiety
What do they think, why do they stare?
Guilty actions and fears dictate
Participating in deeds I regret
All the pain that I caused
Oh how I wish I could forget
So let this be an example
When your bones begin to show
When your hair starts to thin
and your face lacks a youthful glow
It is not worth the pain
It will never be worth the lies
It takes control of your will
Shrinking your withering size
When you see your mother's teats
A gaze of father's sorrow
Just remember one thing
Recovery is as close as tomorrow

C'mon, C'mon, C'mon
Guilty pleasures await
His poison lips and toxic tongue
Hold and seal my fate
C'mon, C'mon, C'mon
Begging to fill his lustful sin
Exploring privacy
Places no one has been
C'mon, C'mon, C'mon
Wanting to more than before
Sinking further, deeper
Tearing through to my core
C'mon, C'mon, C'mon
Wave goodbye to the innocent
Crushing purity, honesty
Leaving scars when you accent
C'mon , C'mon,C'mon
He jeers, he smiles, unable to wait
Long gone is charm and respect
My dignity he did eradicate
C'mon, C'mon, C'mon
What damage can you do?
C'mon, C'mon, C'mon
See the shame left by you

I hate you, I hate what you did
I hate how you lied, leaving me broken
Your eyes are like a death sentence
Your mouth a poisoned wine
A pulse of execution drums
A voice of Siren Song
I hate you, I hate what you did,
I hate your tone, your expression
I hate the extent of my confession
I hate your ways, your plans
Your lack of remorse, passion or care
Your golden necklace is a ****** weapon
Your hands are like Neanderthal clubs
Your tongue is a poised adder
I hate what I have become
I hate my lack of resistance
I hate how I feel
I hate the regret I live with
I hate that I meant nothing, a meaningless fling
But most of all my fickle soldier
I hate that you chose her over me