The moon was full
and I don't want to romanticize the facts,
but there was something about
the sound of distant cars
and the way
the streetlights cast their shadows.
We stood at the corner
where we usually parted ways
and I laughed at your sarcastic remarks about life
because I was full of ideals
and you were always such a pessimist.

I don't know why I was so optimistic
that night.
It felt as though everything
was the way I had hoped it would always be.
You were saying something
about how everything was corrupt
and that the world was going
to hell,
but all I could think about
was the way your face
contorted into different beautiful shapes
as you talked
and how you would glance to the side
when our eyes had held
contact for longer than you could bear.

I didn't know it was coming
because I had only ever fantasized
about such things.
But you stop talking all at once
and instead of glancing
to the side
you moved your eyes closer to mine.
I thought about running,
or turning away
or saying something,
but instead,
I broke eye contact
to glance down at your lips
and you kissed me without
a second thought.

It was 10:30 at night
and we were parked in my drive way
sitting in your car.
We were both unusually over-tired
and you were so indecisive
about how you
were feeling.

I listened to you talk about him
and why you loved him
and why he didn't love you
and why he never would.
And, oh, how I wished I could tell you
that I loved you,
but I knew it wouldn't be enough.

You talked about his hair,
and his voice
and the way he didn't care about
what everyone else thought.
You made him sound
so, so wonderful
turning him into poetry
as you spoke.

I knew he was
everything you wanted
right down to the way he laughed
and the clothes he wore.
Some days
you were extra in love
and others you were extra out.
But most days
were a mixture of the two.

"Maybe love doesn't exist,"
you said as you
threw yourself against the seat,
your hair a mess
over your shoulders.
"Maybe it's just a facade,
a nice thought."
But I knew it existed
because I felt it
every time I looked
at you.

I don't like to think of people
as people
because really,
we're so much more
than that.
And if you think about how little
we tend to care about others
people really do seem insignificant.
How often
do we appreciate
a person completely
for who they are?
Never.
We admire flowers
for growing through weeds
and butterflies for migrating
great distances,
but we don't admire
the average person.
So instead, I'll view people
as trees
with strong branches
or beautiful storms
that demand to be heard.
Because really,
we're all so much more
than just human.
And I'm not sure
why we always forget that.

Why are we talking
when we've already wasted
so many words?
You'd think we would have
run out of things
to say
just as fast as we've
run out of time,
but this love
is starved
and we were hoping
that our words would act as flesh
forgetting that
it was our words
that made us so skeletal
in the first place.

Am I still in love with you?
No,
for you are no longer
the you
I was in love with.

You're not heartless,
your heart just doesn't have a home
maybe you're homeless
with no place to call your own
and I know I'm no palace
but I could be
you're home sweet home.

And if flowers only blossomed
at the voices
of the ones they loved,
you would never bloom for
me.

I will not look for you.
In 7 years from now,
I will not search for your number
or inquire about you
at the places where you used to live.
I will not hold on to
who you were,
because I know that you are no longer
that person.
And, I will not pretend
that I did not love you
because I did,
and somehow
I still do.

if you think that all death
is ugly and ruthless
you have not witnessed death's other side.
the side that causes the flowers to fade away
into the earth-
and gently chokes out summer
at the end of every september.
the way it takes a tree,
turning it into love letters and poems
and when i die,
i hope the same side of death
will take me.

Let us pretend
that we haven't fallen apart,
that we haven't reached
the tragic point of no return.
And let us forget
the mistakes we have made
and the mistakes we're still making.
Let us grow into the great people
that we should've become
before this bitter reality
and our perception of it
caused us all to
drowned.

I remember
the first thing
you ever said
to me.
Actually,
it may have been
the second
or third
or fourth thing,
but it's the first
that I remember.
The first thing
that made me think
you were
wonderfully different.
You looked at me
and said,
"You have a kind soul."
You should know
that you won my heart
with those words.
Not with I love you's
or
You're beautiful's,
but with those 5 words
that summed up
everything I ever wanted
to be.