I foster demons
So if have any that scare you at night
wake you from dreams with a terrible fright
make themselves known at inopportune times
or force you to contemplate terrible crimes
bring them to me.
Tell me your tales about sad childhood days
regrets for things done in a teens drunken haze.
Name all the people who hurt and betrayed you,
sick evil ******* who laughed as they played you.
Recount the memories that cause so much pain
open your heart, let the bad feelings drain.
I foster demons
I'll welcome them into my soul, I will tame them
directing their rage into good, I will train them.
And when the times right and I know they are strong
I'll channel their anger to where it belongs.
You see-
I'm working on a hit list, it grows longer every day
and soon those demon makers are gonna have to pay
I foster demons
Bring them to me.

I say:

I want you as a cloud is wanted
Wanting to see it drizzle,
Wanting to get wet, then, let go
I want you with a desire I never had before,
grey, as the swirls of snow
that melt in your belly.

I want you, with half of my willing
With my consciousness in the air
and my feet on a burning plain,
with my eye-lid attached to the lily,
and my soul, made into a wave of broken glass
That undoes,
and does, undoes
and does...
undoes...

I want you like the sea foam is wanted
Wanting to imprison it in my fist,
a fist where storms slip, but it catches the howling
a fist that destroys everything
but can't own anything

I want you as the hurricane wants
to stir the nest on the back of your neck
where your secrets huddle

but in this tremulous current
I'm leaving the flesh, I'm leaving the blood
Not the heart
For I see how it sets on fire what it pleases
It undoes, and does
undoes and does
undoes...

You are water
You are salt
You are river
You are sea
You are chalk
White pond on the skin
solemn oath of love

But who are we trying to fool?
Who's gonna carry the dead on the hands?
Who's gonna bear a winter all year?
Who's gonna blink during the summer?
Maybe tomorrow, it's gonna be me
So, for today,
I'm gonna have to say no.

You say:
"What about next wednesday?"

Maybe next wednesday.

I miss you
When we're apart
I think about you
And how you occupy my heart
Seeing you
Brightens my day
I'm so happy
Nothing gets in our way
I can't imagine my life without you
You ruin me
I ruin you
There's no turning back now
Constantly, I sigh
And breathe out a *"wow"

My Mind Flourishes at night
Anything can Hide in the darkness
Ever think of the possibilities
Ten years of hurt could be what waiting for you
Pain Suffering
Maybe happiness but thats unlikely
You wonder why people cry at night?
Because their mind flourishes then
They think of all the BAD possibilities before the Good
But then even the good seem bad
Our monsters in our closests have grown with us
Turning into burdens and overall sadness
Once that light turns out its all over
God, You never know what could be hiding in the dark
The dark is a feeding ground for imagination
And what ***** is the only thing you'll see
There is no form of a light in the dark
But once that light turns on it all goes away
You go out and act like All is Okay
But once night comes again your thoughts come back again
And that my friend is NOT ok

I could have ripped my heart right out of my chest
Or given you a million valid means of protest
and you still would have left
Your absence is so obvious; it haunts me while I sleep
It clouds over every moment and rips a hole so black and deep
Its killing me, such a silent assassin striking from the depths
How do you even question why I am depressed?
You walked out, all alone, much to my dismay
and obliterated everything you could along the way
Left me for dead; between the lines you read
between the lines is where I struggled for days
Just to make it out of the fire and into the abyss
Maybe it is just the abuse that I most miss
The soul ******* series of never ending mirrors
A lie behind every one, nothing ever seeming clearer
I was three feet away from you when you left me forever
I should have known, you *******, you were always very clever
When I woke up to your mom screaming in my face
I woke up to an entire life of feeling pure disgrace
I let you down, and you were the very best
friend I ever had
And all the ****** or money or god
Can never bring you back
You left me here on this earth alone
to wither and die with a heart of stone
And I will never forgive you for as long as I live
Because I will never be able to forgive
myself

i release secrets hidden behind a breastbone
that cracks under (pressure),
when gin and tonics enter my achy bloodstream.
i only remember her on the floor.
i dance like broken bottles upon cement floors
when fairy dust kisses foamy glasses.
i was in a mental hospital. yeah, basically.
i forget the people i supposedly love and blame
it on the alcohol,
because i do not have the courage to blame it
on myself.