my body aches
i miss my dead mom and my dope man just called so i bet you know what that means

i sleep on a mattress on the floor and my ex girlfriend used to think it was sweet
or romantic
or she just liked me so much she thought everything i did was cute

until i started falling out in public bathrooms
because then she just left me on the floor to die

i guess if i loved sleeping on the ******* floor so much i ought to just ******* stay there
right?

i'm sure you're sick of cracking ribs and kissing air into a hollow chest anyway

she use to think needles were **** and her lips always tasted like she had had a few too many

of what? i never quite figured it out

but i can still feel her skin under my fingertips
and my pillowcase still smells like you and this bed is too big for just one person and i want so badly to beg you to come back

Some nights it feels like my heart will beat its way out of my chest
Not in a beautiful way, just like ripping cobwebs from the corner of my bedroom, trying to make space for something better
maybe something beautiful

Some nights I do not believe I need this heart at all
It is just a fragile ****** thing, like you
maybe like me
and maybe I'd be better rid of it

Some nights I sit and count the times my jaw clenches while I trace bone pressed against your soft skin
I'm trying to listen to the way your heart is comfortable in her gentle rhythm
but I get distracted wondering if she is as lovely as you and that's why you let her stay

Some nights you reach for me, and it is everything I am not to rattle you awake, wrap you in these frail arms, and press you so tightly to me that this fragile ****** heart has no where else to go
left beating down cobwebs from the corners and crawling into my throat trying to scream, trying to be heard, trying to love you