My dreams.
I cannot really sleep.
I think someone would call it a nightmare.
Let me apologize in advance.
I had to shoot you in the head.
Bullets travel through this pistol
And I watched as you fell.
You were going to eat me alive.
I met a guy I'd never met.
He had a sawed off shotgun.
I said hello
Because he was the only one trying to save
Me.
And I kept waking up expecting you to be
Gnawing off one of my limbs.
But I awoke to loneliness.
My dreams used to be so sweet.
My dreams used to be my escape.
Now nothing is sweet.
Now there is no escape.
And I cannot sleep.

I wonder if I had the choice would I
yell for time to travel way back?
I want it to so much now,
For time to slowly inch its way back.
Or to at least to avoid this situation,
To have never walked into this place.
Because now I'm not really living
While I'm watching you with her.
I watch as you kiss her neck.
And it makes me miss you so much.
And I should be living
Because I can hear the clock ticking over my head.
But this is what happens to me
When someone scoops out my heart
And leaves me with an empty heart-shaped shell.
It is the oddest feeling.
I think it might feel like death.
But why shouldn't you be blissfully happy,
with her?
I ask.
Maybe it hurts so much
And that is the reason
I don't want you to become two.
Or maybe it is
Because she was prettier than me,
Taller than I am,
Or skinnier than I could ever try to be.
I was never enough.
Not for you.
Maybe my heart is just broken.
Don't worry.
Because I realized that fairy-tales don't exist for every little girl.
And I'll just leave you with her
All wrapped up in your magical world.
You won't see me.
And I'll walk out of the door.
With a scooped out heart,
Only a shell of a heart
To leave you unaware and wrapped up in your own fairy tale.
And maybe someday I'll be able to look at those magical dust filled pages
Without a single pang of regret.
But for now my heart-shaped shell
Cannot take the pain.
And I can try to yell for time to quick click backwards,
In hopes the memories will erase forever,
So I won't have to remember you with her.

You will have to take duck tape and
Shut me inside this closet
and throw away the key
Then while you are tearing
Picture by Picture
Into tiny strips
You will ask what did you miss from this life.
Because somewhere you headed down the wrong ***** track.
And then you will come back
Staring at this white door.
And when you try to unlock it
You will have found you have lost the key
You will dig through 10 billion pockets
Never finding your answers
And I will laugh through my duct taped mouth.