Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Samantha Steele Jan 2012
When she lies
He cries

When he lies
She cries

Sorrow filling the air
The sound of silent weaping

They were once so happy
So content

He told her the truth
She gave him execuses

Wraped in a world of hurt
Eyes leeking liquid

Unable to escape
This spinning wheel of hurt
Samantha Steele Dec 2013
Its been 10 months
and I still love you
ive heard you cry
and beg for forgiveness
but none was given
but 10 months later
im still alone
and I still
love you
2am
Samantha Steele Mar 2013
2am
I was awake at 2am
writing down my tragaties
on your lips
Part 1
3am
Samantha Steele Mar 2013
3am
3am knew all my stories
heard all my sighs
and wittinessed my heart shattering
Part 2
4am
Samantha Steele Mar 2013
4am
4am felt  my skin
saw all my scars
yet said nothing
Part 3, possibly more to come
Samantha Steele Oct 2012
When I pleasure myself
And I think of you
You going hard and fast
Being merciless
My thighs begin to tremble
I grasp at nothing
I get louder
My chest heaves
And my back arches
And im raking my nails down your back drawing blood
And I think you like it
And that it spurs you on
Faster and harder
And im trapped underneath you're body
And our moans fill the air
And I burst
And im coming down
And I rember that your not here
That there was no ***
And that it was all my imagination
And I just sigh and go to sleep
Wishing for something I can't have
Samantha Steele May 2013
Im addicted to seeing the number drop.
111
110
105
100
95
90
And it would just keep going lower and lower...
If I could do it.
If the numbers did drop, I wouldn't punish myself.
Food restricting.
Fasting.
Throwing up.
If the numbers just dropped this wouldn't happen.
Im reallyyyyy not sure about this one. Eh.
Samantha Steele Nov 2011
I dont know what to do
I am so confused
Everythings so fuzzy
Its all clouded up
My mind is spining
Its a whirlpool
Im high
Im low
Everythings so fuzzy
Im all clouded up
My vision is bluring
Everything is going so fast!
I cant keep up
I need that rush
That high
That low
Everythings so fuzzy
Im needing
Wanting
Craving
A high
A low.
Samantha Steele Jan 2013
Lately her face looks like its
Becoming hollow
Sinking in on itself
Her eyes have lost their gloss
Her lips pale
Skin translucent
Maybe shes already dead
But we just don't know it
Samantha Steele Oct 2013
betrayal
an emotion so bitter
that it makes your teeth clench

loss
an emotion so strong
that you cant even breathe

anger
an emotion so wild
that your whole world turns red
Samantha Steele Apr 2013
Now, there's only two ways to feel alive,
and that is to be either happy or sad.
Because each feeling does something to us,
something akin to drugs.

Sad
We know that when your 'sad' you get pills
Because thats the best way to go,
banish the problems underneath your pillowcase where the nightmares are.
Codeine makes the pain go away.
Riddlin makes you calm.
Xanax makes you happy,
or so you think.
For a while.
I might do a separate one for "Happy". Not sure though.
Samantha Steele Oct 2013
when you talk about him
i feel bad
but i cant help but to
think back
to his face thrown back
in ecstasy
due to me
Samantha Steele Sep 2013
Bandannas,
They were our thing once.

We would gift them to each other,
to help us cope with being
alone

I have one
and it still smells like memories
cigarettes, ***, your home.
but its fading

The other one smells like you
And I hold it to me when im sad
                                                 or mad
                                                      or scared
                                                          ­or just numb.
Samantha Steele Jul 2013
I can feel it slithering through my veins
turning my blood black
and grabbing hold of my soul
and never
ever
letting
go
Samantha Steele Nov 2011
The smell of Iron carresses my nose.
I undress.

Looking in the mirror.
Scars decorating my skin.

Others- Ugly.
Me- Beauty.

My eyes take in every inch of myself.
Is it ****** up to say I got turned on?

My eyes dart to the corner of the room.
There lays a lifeless body, bloodless.

My eyes dart to the bathtub.
Filled to the rim with crimmison.

Blood is boiling.

I walk accross the blood soaked floor,
leaving ****** footprints in my wake.

I pearch on the side of the tub.
Stick my toe into it.

A sigh and a shiver of pleasure escape me.
I emerse myself in to it.

I grin...

Razor teeth on display.
For my victoms who are forced to watch.

Bliss...
© SamanthaReganess
Samantha Steele Aug 2014
God, there's something special about
Blow

But I couldn't tell you what
It's somewhat
Unknown
But well known
How when uncut
I loosen up
Ugh,
****.
I really don't know what to do with this.
Samantha Steele Aug 2013
You paint your body with
Dollar Store brushes
Leaving behind a stoke of  red
(But it's a metaphor)
(for how you hurt yourself)
Your an artist
But show no one your art
Samantha Steele Feb 2013
200
400
600
800
200
400
600
800
repeat
2, 4, 6, 8
calories
2, 4, 6, 8
need to lose weight
2, 4, 6, 8
keep going through the days
2, 4, 6, 8
fast
still not enough
pill
2, 2, 2, 2
0
dead
Samantha Steele Sep 2013
when I said he would only caress my body
and never my soul
I forgot

that I couldn't see into the future
Samantha Steele Sep 2013
you helped me take my clothes off
and you offered to help put them back on
I dont think thats ever happened to me

normally im just left there naked
to put on my own clothes
and to walk out by myself
Samantha Steele Nov 2013
with every exhale
she weaves a lie
the truth clouded
by the smoke in her lungs
and the smile
on her porcelain skin
Samantha Steele Aug 2013
I think I could say that
I was born from a cosmic being

That I'm made out of galaxies
And stars soar through my veins

So when you compared me to the
Cosmos

You might of been right
Samantha Steele Dec 2012
5, 6, 7, 8,
Count the numbers of pills you take
Oh, look at how happy she is
What a fake *****.
We all know that shes sad
That shes ruining her life
But she doesn't care
She'll just keep counting.
Samantha Steele Jul 2013
so you know,
when you feel like your crazy?
and you hope
that it might not be true?
but you just
dont
know?
Samantha Steele Nov 2012
I don't think
I could ever get past
The illusion
Of calling him daddy
Samantha Steele Apr 2012
A death march,

My death march.

Die and be dead.

A death march,

My death march,

Everything was red.
Samantha Steele Dec 2012
its like
your mind is drowning
and all the voices are muffled
and everything is fuzzy and you cant pay attention
and you just keep going
down
down
down
to the point of where you cant see
can breathe
cant hear
cant do anything
all of your energy is gone
and you just want to sleep
to forget
and to never wake up
Samantha Steele Aug 2013
you don't know what it's like
to look in the mirror and hate
every part of you
so please
don't say you understand
Samantha Steele Feb 2015
Because your love makes me want to
Drown

I avoid all bodies of water
It hopes that I'll survive

But it's fruitless
Because I've havnt got the control any more

It's all in the currents
Samantha Steele Aug 2013
Every single  time she opened her mouth
numirous galaxies tumbled out
and her voice pierced me

Every single time she opened her eyes
I could of sworn I saw the sun
and I lost my sight

Every single time she held me
her skin glowed brightly
but I was burnt
Samantha Steele Apr 2012
In a world where everyone in faceless,
Would I be faceless too?

Would I stand out
Or blend into the crowd?

Would you be able to point me out?
This poem goes with one of my drawings, ironically, they are faceless.
Samantha Steele Nov 2012
What more can you do
Than sit there and watch the family unit fall apart
See family stumble and slurr everywhere they go
Watch their minds turn to mush
See them become shells of who they were
You sit there and look at them and think off all the good memories you have and then you blink and they fall down and say awkward things that don't fit the moment
And your heart breaks because you dont know how to help, what to do
And you cry because they didn't even remember their own niece
What a happy family we are.
Samantha Steele Sep 2013
you called me feral
and played with my hair

but i felt tamed
by your hands
Samantha Steele Dec 2013
I can feel
the seasons changing
the icy cold
the fire in the hearth
talking about Gods
because they are not dead
they live within me
and my stories
weave the web
that catches them
Samantha Steele Dec 2012
Your eyes are so mesmerizing
Your voice like liquid gold
Dripping off of my mind
Soaking it thoroughly
And my body turns to gold
Because of you
Samantha Steele May 2013
Cold, clean, silent
   Beauty
      walls swaying around
        on the edge of insanity
           slowly breaking
             slowly breathing
               falling
  Gravity
Samantha Steele Nov 2011
My silent screams
Fall apon deaf ears
My face
Contorted in pain
A movie
Nonstop playing in my head
Haunted memories
© SamanthaReganess
Samantha Steele Dec 2012
You say you'll haunt me in my dreams
But baby
You dont realize that you already do
I dream of you
Torturing my body with yours
Get ******* in me
Because baby
I want you so much it hurts
Her
Samantha Steele Sep 2013
Her
she became translucent
she was sick, I could tell
by the way she talked

I could see that she was falling
keeping silent to all
wasting away

I wish I could of saved me
before I became her
Samantha Steele Sep 2013
body twisted to fit the sky
eyes open to everything
taking in nothing
getting lost

fingers slipping through life
finding a hold
on a mans back
leaving behind traces of her life

veins open and on fire
from the life that she was given
and always refusing
love
Not to sure about this one.
Samantha Steele Jul 2012
And she writes her story with blood,
Her blood.

And she crys
Shes screaming help me

But no one hears her pleas
Shes going insane

And no one can help her
shes off to her own demise.
him
Samantha Steele May 2013
him
is this what he felt like
on the edge
like he was drowning
falling
at the end
dead
Samantha Steele Feb 2014
one time someone said a gruesome thing to me

"i swear to god i will slit you open and drag
you up and down my street by your entrails"

people have told me to

"**** yourself, your not worth the space"
"fat cow"
"worthless"

and I froze up with fear
from the hostility
and I thought
"Where has our humanity gone"

And I relized

We lost it with our sisters and brothers over seas
with the violence
on our TV's
with the routine crime
in our cities and saying
"its just how it is"
our humanity has been bread out
and society has created
shells of once humans
i dont know where im going with this
Samantha Steele May 2013
for breakfast I had
a glass of water
along with xanax

for lunch i had an apple
and the illusion that i was full
while taking another xanax

for dinner i had numbers
and once i saw them
i wasn't hungry anymore
Samantha Steele May 2013
I don't know if
I want to get high off of

                  you
                            pills
                                      
                                      or this addiction
Samantha Steele Aug 2013
If I
jumped
I would turn into a memory
my things would be put into storage
and the sound off my voice forgotten
the way I laughed
talked
it would all fade away
in a matter of seconds
Samantha Steele Jan 2013
If this is what love is then I dont want it
Get it the **** away from me
Its tearing me apart
More importantly
my skin
Love makes me do stupid ****
And its all for you
Ill sacrifice my happiness for you
Just because I love you
And what will you do for me?
Will you try to make this work?
Samantha Steele Jan 2013
I didnt realize it when it happened
I had no clue
But I let you work your way in
I love you
I love you
I love you.
And it hurts so bad
And your lips are so good
Your arms around me feel amazing
Your breath on my neck when you sigh
Your heart beating quickly
You lips leaving red marks on my neck
Your body aginst mine as we dance surrounded by people
The look that you give me.
I love you
I love all of you
And it hurts so bad
Cant you see how much pain im in?
Just look into my ******* eyes
You scare me
I love you too.
Samantha Steele Dec 2014
Trust is a fragile thing, and I am a fragile person.

It's almost like hairline fractures in an ankle or a wrist, at least, that's where it starts.

If it's not treated it gets worse, and sometimes never even heals all the way.

But the moment you find someone who is the ***** in your broken femur, that's when you know your kinda ******.

Because your broken, and sure they will help you heal, but you never know how it will turn out.

I guess all this mushy **** is a metaphor for love, and I could wax poetic stanzas, but honestly, nothing is the same as just saying that you ******* love someone.

Nothing is the same after you stay up till 4am and spill out your messy soul to them, absolutely nothing is the same.

No song is the same,
no favorite quote is the same,
not even a ******* smell is the same.

Because you know what?

They will always be in every breath you take,
in every cup of coffee you have,
and in every smile you give to the boy at the bar.

Nothing. Is. The. *******. Same.

And yeah, sure, it's scary as ****. But that's how life is supost to be, right?

Scary and full of heat break and love and lonely nights in a parking lot, surrounded by friends.

That sounds like it doesn't work, but it does. Your surrounded by people, but yet, without the one who makes your world go round, it's lonely as ****.

And sure, you'll drink and collect all the bottles of jack and fireball you went through,
because maybe that just makes the loneliness tangible instead of it being the horrible black hole in the pit of your stomach.

And it's ****** up, but that's what love is.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Samantha Steele Jan 2013
No, no, im fine.
I swear.
Ill just take some pills to make it better.
They make everything fine.
Everything better.
I forget.
Everything.
Next page