Who knew a small silver blade could do so much damage?

Who knew that one would lead to two
That two would lead to three
Three would lead to four
And that four would lead to more

More cuts that scarred over
Cuts I couldn't stop making
Cuts that I made with a small silver blade

one cut
two cut
three cut
four
you hurt
then hurt me some more
you said I love you
first cut
said you cared
second cut
kissed me
third cut
held me
fourth cut
left me
more cuts

I'm jealous,
How do you not see that?
I'm jealous of Taylor, Grant and Keyera
Jealous of whoever is holding that isn't me
I'm hurt,
I know you saw me crying
you ignored it
you said you loved me
said you cared
and I believed you
I'm disappointed
You are just throwing it all away
All the time we shared
All the things we did
All of it
for someone who is going to hurt you
I'm broken
I loved you
You didn't care
I'm over it,
The heart break
The depression
The crying
All of it

I thought what we had would last
God was I wrong
I was so stupid to think
That all the I love you's and you're the best's were real
You don't mean any of it
We were together for a month then you broke up with me
I still loved you
You said you still loved me
We got back together
That was a mistake
I fell for your **** again
I believed what you said
We were together for about two weeks that time
Then I broke up with you
We stayed friends
I still loved you
You said you felt the same
We stayed broken up for about a month
You asked me out while we were on FaceTime
It made me so happy
You said I love you
Then you just stopped texting
When you do text it is one syllable words
I still love you
I don't know why I do
After all that pain
Half of my heart still beats for you
I don't know why
I wish it would stop
Even though we are through
You still break my heart a little more every day
So please tell me
Why does half my heart keep beating for you

one cut
two cut
three cut
four
cut a little
then cut some more*

It takes away my pain
But it would just be easier to end it all
I want to
The pain would be gone and so would I

I won't do it though
Because of him
He keeps me alive
He helps me thrive
I love him
He loves me
He makes me happy

He is the reason I'm alive

You're back
Cool
I missed you
But you were gone
For almost 5 years
You can't just come back and pretend you were here
That's not how it works
Believe me I'm so happy you're back
But you missed so much
For five years you were gone
You cannot just pretend those five years never happened
It was hard for me
Really hard
I cried so much
Shedding so many tears
It hurt when you decided to disappear

I looked around again today
I saw all these couples
But this time I didn't cry
I wasn't sad
I was happy
Because I'm no longer alone
I have him
He is with me
Next to me
Holding my hand
And setting my heart on fire