Scream my name from a moving car,
The most cowardice of greetings.
You slow down to shout
And drive off when near.
Exhaust down my throat
And me in your rear view mirror.

If I lived in a town where no one knew me,
I wouldn't have to question,
Why people persist to shout
Just to gain my attention.

At second glance,
I just missed my chance,
To talk to you,
A girl, I rarely encounter.

I grit my teeth,
And bite my cheeks,
As your car hugs a bend.

That's it, you're gone
Goodbye, so long,
My nervousness is at an end.

Sirens calling in the morning ,
As I sit at the campus across from my school,
Smoking.

Are these sirens coming to take me to a better hell?

The school bell rings not long after,
Soon to be trapped in a prison of forced laughter.
Engulfed in the musky scent of cigarette smoke.
To teachers, I must be a joke.

Self inflicted sickness is slowly killing me.
Not any quicker than the chance a teacher has,
To ******* mock me.

Writer's blocked, nose,
Mind's half stigmatic.
They say one day you'll resemble a rose,
I could never get past growing thorns.

My pen trails over memorable tales,
Of frail dead friends.
Days and days of nothing,
Starting to blend.

Slaving over thoughts,
Not thinking of words,
To reconcile,
Dead and dying nerves.

My mind is a swimming pool of fiction.
Drowning just happens to be my latest addiction.

The reflection that peers back at me,
In my jo-black coffee,
Is taunting and eerie.

With every sip my face ripples and grows old.
The steam that was my youth is no more,
I have grown cold.
Like the remittence of the coffee that once was,
All that is left is grindings and sugar,
Undissolved.

To be drunk, regardless.
Coarse, as it runs down and grazes my throat.
The person who was staring back at me is gone,
And with every coffee that follows,
an unknown reflection, it will host.

Like the empty cup,
I have been rendered useless, by my own nihilistic judgement.

I want to die at an early age,
But i'm afraid,
My name wouldn't entertain readers of the obituary page.

I want to chew gum when I crave,
But I'm afraid,
Four years of braces would go to waste.

I want to quit smoking,
Not because I'm afraid of cancer,
I just don't want to be a slave.

I want to write my thoughts in a poetic way,
But I'm afraid,
Every stanza will go astray.

I wake up in the morning,
Put on my favorite shirt,
I walk to my bus stop,
I go to work.

My bus doesn't stop,
My chest starts to hurt,
I have another cigarette,
I'm late for work.

My boss fires me,
I call him a ****,
I douse my throat in liquor,
I start to smirk.

When the rain cleans the leaves, from the classroom awning
I walk to the hospital carpark, yawning.
Treading over makeshift graves for dead leaves,
I think to myself 'They've left home, they've left the trees.'
Sarcastically wondering why I can *** a smoke from cancer patients in mouring.
Constantly reading the same signs,
'No Parking'
'No Smoking'
'No Loitering
But I know I've been here far too long,
When the shattered, sick and weak tell me to move along.