At times we need some times we want swimming threw a creak in to the swamp I step I sink I move I drop. A Lil bit lower I brings me down with every step I keep on pushing muddy and soaking wet I loose my shoes and can't see where I step my pants are soaked and waighs me down I take them off with no regrets not much further till I see some success  forward I move while I bleed out sweat  I push I pull watching  out for what I grab  life can hand u something that bites or stabs I dream of snakes  when I meet some new only a few can help me threw    this mucky land  I can't afford to sink further then I sand my knees my my waist my chest my neck any further it's worse then death I watch I pray I push away every day I choose my way I help I breath or I'm in the breeze all I want is this mud to stay from under my feet be careful who u choose when it's time to meet cause some will leave u dead and beet

At times we need some times we want swimming threw a creak in to the swamp I step I sink I move I drop. A Lil bit lower I brings me down with every step I keep on pushing muddy and soaking wet I loose my shoes and can't see where I step my pants are soaked and waighs me down I take them off with no regrets not much further till I see some success  forward I move while I bleed out sweat  I push I pull watching  out for what I grab  life can hand u something that bites or stabs I dream of snakes  when I meet some new only a few can help me threw    this mucky land  I can't afford to sink further then I sand my knees my my waist my chest my neck any further it's worse then death I watch I pray I push away every day I choose my way I help I breath or I'm in the breeze all I want is this mud to stay from under my feet be careful who u choose when it's time to meet cause some will leave u dead and beet

I learned how to fly 4 nothing

shattered my own broken heart
diminished to the lowest feeling
belittled my confidence
i steered  my self to a dead end  
i crash thinking i could love again
after my love left this earth  
the remembrance of her appeared
in a beautiful soul
an Ora of an angle
reflections of lights off her skin in the dark  
my heart  instantly wanted to work again
dreams appeared my brain was focused
i had a chance and it was amazing
i felt the energy run threw my blood
the connection was incredible
but every time i saw this outstanding person
my love grew strong
but love she was not looking for
i strained my mind
shattering  my heart that was broke already

Only in life a mind body and soul is all in one
When we sleep our mind and soul freely run
The time will come are soul will leave
Reincarnate to who we are supposed to be
The sun the moon the stars do last
But are body's are just an hour glass
Time will tick it can only live so long
It goes so  fast  but no need to run or dash
Love the ones and cherish them b4 they pass
Cause only in your dreams they will always belong
Time is ticking till it stops and are mind body and soul separates and move on

to truly think existence is a matter
im still here but dont feel seen
my mind reacts with depression
lost in a cave under the sea
droning slowly
hopping to be noticed
and i was
pulled out of my doubt
refreshed with faith
but it was just for a few moments
i got so excited that i was found
rambunctious i became
*** i felt like i was loosing my way again
and the more i push i started swimming down
down to that cave i droned
with more pain i had
no matter how much people help
it feels like they ruin me more
i sit in deep waters with pruned hands
waterlogged and warped  
comfortable with being alone
for that water i soak in is my tears
and that dark cave is my head

Only in the mind
My addiction is company
Not mysrable
Happy alone
Happier with company
But happy alone
Tired of being only for my self
I'd save just to waist I'd cherish every moment it takes
Useless only in my head
If asked treasure is worth more then gold

Maybe the sun has its darkest days
Shadowed by clouds
Dimming it's raise
Clogging it's passage
Maybe the moon has its light
Bright enough to light up the earth
Glowing in its ways
Radiant halos we call stars
A message to my lover who ever u are
I pray to the lands and speak for the sky's
A chance we meet again I want nothing but good vibes
The elements stand by us as we set fire to the land
And swim towards fresh air
The power we hold in are hands
Is nothing but positive energy
And would only sucssed with one another
I gave u my faith.. with arms wide open
I'm not mention for no one
Except that one the kept me focused

I go to the end of the earth
To see the galaxies reflection
In the waves and calm waters
The ripples begin from a breeze
Still looking downwards  up
From a distance
Like looking half way threw the mirror
The sounds of the clashing white waters Magnifies  
And expands the mind like a hulusanagen
Open from all angles   u can feel each element around u
Free and exact
The night of day
The breath of the sea
The fire of light
And the land we comfortably control like it means nothing
If I can live and breath the site of a beach every night
I'd fully be at peace

If u are done u are done
I always new I was not your type
I felt that once B4
I have not yet found what I am looking for
I can not seem to keep anything
For the most part
I have  no time for the same old jokes

Y cheat y lie
Y stab someone in the back
Who wants to help
Y drain your self for someone who will hurt u
Y bother
Getting hurt goes both ways
You let them do it
I learned a lesson in a relationship
I was so easy going it ruined it
I let them have all the freedom they wanted
Gave them everything they asked
Allowed them to make their choice
And it bit me in the ***
Y even bother should I be more demanding
Is that the affection  they want
Idk all I know is I can't be controlled
So y bother being controlling
I was born to be single
Forget being with anyone
I love my self more when I'm sober alone
And that's what I am gunna be

Sleep walking my life
Their but not truly
I like to find some one who doesn't want to loose me
but we just hold on loosely  
I'd like to be smothered held on too and covered
I'd like to have everything I've never had
Kept in line with smiles and cries
some day I could say I've never been so glad
Mend my heart no rubble dert or dark
Just a love with fireworks and sparks
Some one to mend my heart

It hurts feeling like nothing
I ***** believing  it
Its bad thinking your nothing to no one
No one really gives u reason
Your just another tool in the bag
That can be replaced in seconds
I feel replaceable  
Doesn't it hurt when u know their is no real reason
To stick around
No one shows me they want me around
No one really does
Doesn't it ***** knowing
No one really cares

Locked sadness in a room
We sleep to a fan
And dream about doom
Past few times I open my eyes
My mother knocks to see if I'm alive
Haven't eaten for days
I left my job
Just want to be left alone
Turned my ringer off
So I don't hear my phone
I closed the shutter can't see if it's night or day
I haven't smoked or go out to play
My stomach  is smaller my heart is shot
As I sit in my bed to lay here and rot
I gave up on life cause every one gave up on me
I want to start over but I'm way to lonely
I don't want to meet I don't want to see
I just want a good job where no one bothers me
I live in silence I just left all that I know
I don't want to leave my bed or step out of this home
Weak I need to eat probably an apple would do
But I don't want to see life and what it can do
I sheltered my self I just look at the fan
I close my eyes to dream about eating again
Brain turned in to a mush my hole body is numb
I'm tired of life
Lusifer here I come

In to the night we shine
Glimmers of light sparkle
And shimmer away
Desolved from the sun
The world spins us away
As bright as can be
We wish upon are stars
In dreams of the day
Are future are told
We go where we want
With fortunes untold
Are lives are given to stop

I spend way to much time over thinking
I sit alone and my brain goes on
Good bad ether one
Drinking helps me sleep
I mind my business  and easily dream
nightmares will always come
I sleep threw them until their done
BuT my mind goes and goes and keeps going on
when I'm by my self I feel like somethings wrong
I keep busy non stop till I try and sleep
but my mind keeps stressing me
It hurts me inside ànd it won't let me be
Only when I'm alone
My mind really keeps bothering me

Amazing is the mid night breeze
The crashing waves
Reflections  in the deep blue sky's
A world of its own
We feel are high and relax in a zone
Hearing watching feeling  
Is a high alone
I love this time to clear my mind
It takes time... it takes time

Dragged down from heartless souls
In the shadows waiting
Positioning them selves for the next move
Hard to see but out their u know
Any wrong move can set u up for failure
I feeling of bad company
Vibes and guts challenge your mind and thoughts
FForce of judgment is easy to change
No one is truly there
U alone can only help your self
Best friends are strangers and family is just a guide

In this I am
Life is 24\7
Waisted time is just waisted time
The wind only blew in to one chime
But they all made noise
While these ball rock
Tick tock tick tock
Holes in my sole
Shredded pants with some ripped socks
Hand me downs
From my uncle B4 my pops
Slept in a hallway on the floor between two doors
Rotten language  slurring screams
Broken plates and my squashed dreams
Seen them beat I'd sneak strait under the bed
Never slept the t.v so loud I still have the ringing in my head
So tired I'd walk to school 3rd grade on all alone
I'd sleep in class it was better then home
God I loved iss  been their  almost everyday I went
Peace and quiet got some rest
My brother was made he would take it all out on me
Never had a room I had a top bunk and half a closet
Nothing was mine if it was it would be broken or gone
**** it what's yours is mine if that's how it is I'd be happy with less then a dime .. well it didn't work courts at 12 by the time I was 13 group home time all we did was play spades and fight being the only  1 out of 2 white boys we where out numbered got jumped every other day stomped on my face I learned how to fight and respect they gave
Harassed once I got home every day cops stop no reason and search
How's your brother... even in front of my mother humiliation at worst
Every  day they would stop 6% of the time I couldn't even stash the **** I I was on probation B4 I could even read that's just a little in the beginning of my time labeled the bad kid no one was aloud near me

I u live threw missing someone
U know u loved them

Really y even bother
They did nothing 4 u
Take your time leave u hanging
High and dry
Really y even bother
Used u for your money
Waisted  your time
She never loved u
She never cared
Y even bother
Y even care
U did nothing to her
U tried to help
She lied to your face
Day one and day two
She played with your emotions
Hanging with other dude
Y should I bother
Y should I care
U put food in her mouth
Gas in her tank
Made u look like the bad guy
And just threw u away
She would take your money and just run away
I slept with my wallet and my keys on the bed
Left them under my pillow right under my head
Y should I have love
I had faith I truly cared
But she damaged the trust
The threw me a side
She leave me for a couple days just to get high
I spent any dollar I had on her for or with us
But she wanted more then that
She got high off the rush
I can't even bother now don't even care
I have more things to worry about
Then someone who's not their

Released in the colors of gray
Hidden beneath besides or above
Always their in the light
But the Darkness be hind it's matter
Some times look bigger then it should be
Or smaller then what it really is
It would walk with u at all times
and stay with u till the end
Some times I feel my shadow is my only friend
It never speaks back and does exactly  what I do
The only one ever around when I need someone
The only thing in my life that hasn't hurt my feelings
Or stabbed me in my back
My shadow is my best friend

Idk maybe I'm not cut out
UN wanted

I've been beaten and dragged down
Raised with all types of hell
I lost my best friends
I've sat in a cell
I worked on my self
I've started over again
I tried and I tried
And I ******  up over again
I've lived on the streets
I've challenged my strength
I ran away  and I made it threw to today
Problem solving is all that I done
I took my self out of the equation.
And the problem was done
I've thought many time
And I know it would hurt a few
a few months later people will forget
It's not like I'll make history
Life not even worth my breath
As easy as it sounds
I feel that would be one thing I'd regret

Starvation of the poor
Hunger and a hole lot more

We live to feel
In depth and in contact
We all fall apart from with in
Some are stronger then others
We all loose trust for one and some for all
Its hard to trust everyone of them when the few
Have placed u in the outer element
Destroyed  my kingdom of trust
People leave people go
Abandoned  I always felt
Pushed away told to be forgotten
I have always been left I have always been hung out to dry
Zig zagging  down my broken dreams
Thumping threw my broken heart I will always be alone
I can't stand being left anymore I will do the leaving
B4 it even starts
My mind thinks and thinks and thinks
And knowing I will only be hurt tells me to just go
Do not stay no one loves u and know one has
Just go I say to my self just go
Cause every one has took u for your worth every time
I gave them my heart and the leave with my beat
I will never want to go threw this again
Cause it's always happened
Scared to let people in for some reason
I get the... your just a good guy... good enough to **** over and leave
I get that now. I have no trust I have no plans.. I want Nothing
As I stand here alone I am just me my self and I
I push away and some come back fight me for my love and just throw it away... now they will always fight cause for the time I decide to leave I have no heart cause a couple of them took all the beats away

Flowing full of energy a constant rush of fresh air bleeding out bursts of positivity a change I never thought I would see created by raise from the sun on a clear unclouded day

Lost in the crowd
Alone and hurt
The pain runs thick
No one is beside u
No one is with u
Not one person really cares about u
I do nothing wrong
I do nothing right
I'm so sad inside it akes my heart
This is the worst depression
The pain is insane  
I can't live with it much longer
I'm getting weaker and weaker
I just know I don't be long here

Falling in and out of trapped doors
We close one another opens
When it rains
The drops free my enslavement  
As I rise up from the floors
I maintain a slyte grin
It poor my eyes gloss
Determined  to chance a risk
I role my dice
For a hand of cards I chase
I awake  twisted with illusions of snakes
Granted I look at my friends first
Enormal I think I know I feel
Nothing alters a vain of blood
As they hand me water
Feed me lies
Tell me I'm special tell me I'm strong
Help me coexist from the pain of time
They feed me lies
Trash my trust
And stab my back
The **** my heart and
Grab my stash
They claim we make perfect sense
I stand alone
I gave up hope
I'm on my own
With a pain unknown
I gave in 100%
No I give nothing 100%
Played by vulcherz  
Just for Lil rocks
Now I'm altered in to a selfish state
I want nothing
That's just the music I face

Thriving for change
Want a new leaf
Dieing for driffrent
Loosing my mind
Quit everything
But still stuck on one thing
Not fun no fair
It's just upsetting
painful just knowing
And funny it's ironic
My idiotsy  is to much for me now
Annoying I guess
I gave it all up really
Want to start all over
And I am lazier then ever
Battered I'd say I am
Beeten like scrambled
As I laugh and smile
Don't worry  
Its not u that troubled me
U didn't faze me
I knew it would happen like this
No I want to get so high
Till my heart stops
No one can change me but me
I live for the future
If feeling like I do can stop
It wouldn't matter
But I do and it *****
Opened my eyes
From a nap
I'd rather keep them closed forever

I'm on a plain
I must of past cloud nine
She speaks of life
Like life is just to deal with
what ever your ddealt  
Hidden card a bluff of fearless
In it to win it
kknowing theirs an option to loose
She speaks of life
like an unborn's mood
TTreasures of dirt
As if it was gold
Salted waters
and waves of creation
bbeginning to mold me
Like life is just an illusion
No one can make u feel
no one can let u down no one can pick your self up
Only your wave of creation
The vibes u want are the vibes u make
timeless placement in a selfish state
she shows me life
as if it's was never existing



The angels watch and keep me strong
Apear in my dreams and tell me the wrongs
Show me the paths and sometimes the future
they never gave up and always been truthful
Hand over hand I rest with in good arms held by the tightest
Guardian  arms every day I walk and their hands in my palms

It's only a negative to me when feelings arupt
Love is fake and emotions cerupt
It takes control and it's hard to ajust  
My hole life I'd just take it and rush
Nothing ever last all it does is mess with my head
No one is real I'd just rather be dead
I stay alone even with a crowd
Only people play with my head and tare my heart down
Just a feeling of me that no one likes it's
When I accompany I'm just left alone it's not the first Time.
I tear my way home
.setting a ground no one is aloud
I'm meant to be alone and alone I am now

Cause I'm all the way up we turn up smoked it all we burnt up we burn what... fires lit flames lit from some home made ****
Two stones each chrome
Both blown
I'm coming home
That's my life and I'm grown

My reality is exactly what it seems  
Cold hot sweats creating steam
Ride alone die alone I manage my own team
A dream of dreams a Dreamer dreams
The sun doesn't shine when I close my eyes
Its never daylight only darkened  sky's
Moon light shimmers over gloomy lakes
Hidden by the clouds stars glitter the sky's
threw the galaxy I test my limits
With open minds I have no addictions when I rest
I have plenty sleep its all I like to be alone with an open mind
I'm use to the pain I feel normal alone
Unless I let some one in... but that won't happen anymore
**** the world I I can't have no more friends
I loose them all cause forever ends

Dreams of falling in a pit of snakes
Unable to move unable to get a grip
Hundreds of color shapes and sizes
Slithering jumping and hissing
In a hole six feet beneath
Twisting and curling a twig I can't reach still lying
Unable to stand
One reacts strait for my face
Quick enough I smacked it a way
Reaching and reaching I gradually  get a hold of
The branch I slowly tug
Poisines fangs i see the sight of their teeth
Slithering and squirming
No of them have tried to attack
Slowly I rise not one of them react
Heart is racing I'm shaking
No way to defend and it's my only way out
If this branch don't hold
I'll be stuck untold
With these cold blooded creatures
Who have no heart
If I fall back in they will be ready to tare me apart
I usually like to see the end of my dream
But I woke my self up
And didn't want to see
But I know what it's about
And I'm half way in to deep
Granted it's the way it started
I live for my dreams they've  helped me a lot
But some of these dreams had me feel like I was put on the spot
As long as I understand I know what that branch is
And who the snakes are not

Rage in side... anger shows
*******.. about to throw some bows
When u speak... I will scream
I'm ****** the ******* at this human being
Selfish poor me money money money
Help me help me help me... **** that one or the other
J Put Food On THE Plate I Help When I Can I Give U Cash
And u cry full grown man... u make no sense
I heard u talking ****.. I don't need that in my life
On u I forfeit.

It's pretty sad when u only attract pain sorrow or addictions
One word about it it bring confertational confliction
Their is nothing wrong with u I know that's why u chose me as a friend... deep down inside I can read people's mind souls and actions
I was taught to see deep I lead only the week to a free mind and a chance to seek... I allow your soul to freely express tears run threw pain hurt or worry... I can redeem your presents Ora and blurry.. me my self I have more issues then u my heart pounds harshly when I close my eyes it's like a wiplash in a threshold going threw a black hole but it only happens when I'm sitting alone I panic for no good reason and inside out of nowhere I feel like I'm bleeding  I tear up constintly and shiver like I'm freezing .. with a foot on my chest or like Jesus is kneeling my hole life was just a painful unpealing stripped  down to my soul for the beginnings unwheeling

Only if I lift  my plate and pass it around
I had no food maybe when it comes back around
I try and lift it up but it always came strait back down
I try and do good but it's just never enough
I'm not bad I do no harm I'm just heartless and always alarmed
I keep my smile but in side you will hear what I say
I have a sad soul 85% depression  never been happy
Had it rough as an adilessont beat down everyday from a passive agretion town down pulled down alway *******
Never owned **** I had it rough as a kid sleeping under the bed so they couldn't find me I was frightened to talk  but always thought y me I close my eyes I see a man with a belt behind me cried most of my tears so young that I just sit here and wait for life's out come I'm not even fighting to live I'm just living too die

God will guide u
Love and direct u
From this hell of survival
Clear u from your rival
Choices are made
Up to u which one u decide to
Love is why I'm alive
U have decisions
Your destination is awaiting your arrival
Your choice .. how ever u want to make it
You travel your own paths
Emotions may clash
Success  may not last
For better or worse
Things happen for reason
Go with it learn from the past
It takes time to heal after a crash
Just don't give up
Change up make life
Take out the trash

i build a wall of stone
directly around my soul
with just enough space to feel free
i let people in threw their mind

It's not that I'm to serious my emotions run deep I laugh I play I joke but in side my smile is crushed with grief my heart twists splits and rips every with every breath to the point I have a painful feeling like somethings missing in my chest I cry day by day tears run dry I don't know what's wrong with me but emotionally I can not fly I allow no one in my head and let alone my life I drink I drink I drink I drink till its time to die sleep for days and wake up knowing that my  life is just not right

You lie you lie u lie
U had me even lie for u
U lie to them
U will lie to me too
U lie u lie u lie
Your words make no sense
U speak gibberish
U mix up the truth
And blow your own spot
I believe  nothing u say
Except for that it's a lie
This is not the first time u looked me in the eyes
U lie u lie u lie

Lost ones still communicate
Their souls are still around
Your love for them hurts u
Flashbacks from a sound

Lost ones still communicate
Threw dreams or a bbreeze
Goosebumps out of nowhere
From the sounds of the trees

I tell u they haunt  me
My loved ones are with me
When I close my eyes
or when I don't like what I see

I tell u they tell me
watch me threw the sky's
or their right next me
looking dead in my eyes

I still ask questions
They still second guess
I never follow my gut
I follow the gghost on my left

My best friends tthey haunt me
My ex girl is still here
some times I feel her squeeze me
a Lil will my eyes tear

I love feeling them around me
they help me see somewhat clear
I know I'm never alone
Cause they show me their souls are still near

The world can't ajust
It spins and it wharls
Twisting and turning
On a line with the pearls
Spinning it's coarse  
Night and day
24/7 it's runs threw it's way
This world will not stop
Not for me or you
This world will keep going
After u and me
*******  us down
With the power of gravity
Chemically inclined for man
Are kingdoms are berieal ground
Are former land
The weight  it takes on the punishment  we give
It just keeps spinning  as its all life that it gives
Power to be promised it still runs it's coarse
The wait on my shoulders is no wait at all
But the emotions in my head and the feelings I get
The reactions I give and the sadness I sweat
I look in the world I see life and it's views
The only thing I don't get is why it's so tight in my shoes
I have everything to gain and really nothing to loose
I've been alone and can't seem to find a way I keep on circling the same coarse and nothing good comes my way
I just want to rip out my heart and mind and start over with out thinking or feeling this way

Waisted in a land of misary
Tourmented by my self
Cursed till the death of me
Lonely forever ill be
Singled out from  my pain
Looking in I can't see
Hurting cause its blinding
Lost alone
I find something to love
But they will never love me
I lay in bed for days no one even questions
Not one person would ever know
I drink my self to death
Drag my self to live
Owell is how I take it
Another on bites the dust
My feelings get the best of me
Overwhelming  my self to change
I'm eaten half way in side
My heart seams to fall even more apart
Shattered from this hell
I wake up just to pass back out
Day by day I live my life
Wondering why its so bad
I can't leave alone what I like
I push and push away
My stupidity gets the worst of me
My shame brings me down
I fall apart easily but since birth I worked it out
I can not have no one in my life
Cause when I do I fall in love and drag my self back to hell

Got ****** in past life
Tied burned and buried
Crusified  starved and whipped
Theirs never a rush but life wants to hurry
The fermented fruits where used
To cherish. Meant to be sipped
Abused or used lessons in relish
I knew a man we saw saw from far
We differ but lived in the same constalations
Saw the same things and been threw the same preparations
I was forced to play he enjoyed the  partisapation
I grew sick of the corrupt had a change of heart and just wanted to love
This man has for filled his dreams of corruption altered his ego
And enjoys the killing
For filling my dues me and my best friend became old news
Enemies we say but really just fools
Change of heart to me was created
But still had to **** the negative
That's all inside me
My name is Gemini constentlly battling
My inner wars all though we don't get along my positive is strong
As long as I stand and don't follow my addictions
Consiquences are harsh and my negative is imprisoned  
If I was to set him free their will be a dramatic change in my eyes

Seconds of desractions
Can cause a life time of pain
moments of hesitation
Can be more of a loss then a gain
Often we challenge are time
but your decisions  can effect
Anyone's life
with a drop of a dime
U can think twice it's only a choice
the wrong risk can take away a voice

Peace by peace
Every person I meet
takes all bit of my heart

Day by day
every time that I pray
He throws m3 in the middle of a game

Time after time
I fall for a trick
And my flaws act up
And forever with me they stick

ALL my life I've looked for a friend
But in the end I just get treated ****

Things are the way they are
Come the way they come
And go the way they go
I can only change my life
And choose which way it flows
I'll never know the ending
Till its the time for it to end
Never realized how much thing can really disappoint
And only feel it's my fault
I'm gunna start putting my thoughts in a volt
I enable even when I don't even try
It's like people look at me and get a contact high
I just want to  liv and have a good time
I can just sit and talk or we can believe we can fly
All the things I try to do.. its like life says never minds
Just starting to feel what I want and like I will always be denied
I'd like some good in my life
And about to work hard to try

I really do miss my friend
I really hope they get better
Who knows Mable they won't talk to me
But I wish the best and would like to see them forever
I made a promise to sit and wait
I stay by my phone waiting for a phone call I
It may.never happen I love this  woman and wish we
could talk forever