At times we need some times we want swimming threw a creak in to the swamp I step I sink I move I drop. A Lil bit lower I brings me down with every step I keep on pushing muddy and soaking wet I loose my shoes and can't see where I step my pants are soaked and waighs me down I take them off with no regrets not much further till I see some success  forward I move while I bleed out sweat  I push I pull watching  out for what I grab  life can hand u something that bites or stabs I dream of snakes  when I meet some new only a few can help me threw    this mucky land  I can't afford to sink further then I sand my knees my my waist my chest my neck any further it's worse then death I watch I pray I push away every day I choose my way I help I breath or I'm in the breeze all I want is this mud to stay from under my feet be careful who u choose when it's time to meet cause some will leave u dead and beet

At times we need some times we want swimming threw a creak in to the swamp I step I sink I move I drop. A Lil bit lower I brings me down with every step I keep on pushing muddy and soaking wet I loose my shoes and can't see where I step my pants are soaked and waighs me down I take them off with no regrets not much further till I see some success  forward I move while I bleed out sweat  I push I pull watching  out for what I grab  life can hand u something that bites or stabs I dream of snakes  when I meet some new only a few can help me threw    this mucky land  I can't afford to sink further then I sand my knees my my waist my chest my neck any further it's worse then death I watch I pray I push away every day I choose my way I help I breath or I'm in the breeze all I want is this mud to stay from under my feet be careful who u choose when it's time to meet cause some will leave u dead and beet

I learned how to fly 4 nothing

shattered my own broken heart
diminished to the lowest feeling
belittled my confidence
i steered  my self to a dead end  
i crash thinking i could love again
after my love left this earth  
the remembrance of her appeared
in a beautiful soul
an Ora of an angle
reflections of lights off her skin in the dark  
my heart  instantly wanted to work again
dreams appeared my brain was focused
i had a chance and it was amazing
i felt the energy run threw my blood
the connection was incredible
but every time i saw this outstanding person
my love grew strong
but love she was not looking for
i strained my mind
shattering  my heart that was broke already

Only in life a mind body and soul is all in one
When we sleep our mind and soul freely run
The time will come are soul will leave
Reincarnate to who we are supposed to be
The sun the moon the stars do last
But are body's are just an hour glass
Time will tick it can only live so long
It goes so  fast  but no need to run or dash
Love the ones and cherish them b4 they pass
Cause only in your dreams they will always belong
Time is ticking till it stops and are mind body and soul separates and move on

to truly think existence is a matter
im still here but dont feel seen
my mind reacts with depression
lost in a cave under the sea
droning slowly
hopping to be noticed
and i was
pulled out of my doubt
refreshed with faith
but it was just for a few moments
i got so excited that i was found
rambunctious i became
*** i felt like i was loosing my way again
and the more i push i started swimming down
down to that cave i droned
with more pain i had
no matter how much people help
it feels like they ruin me more
i sit in deep waters with pruned hands
waterlogged and warped  
comfortable with being alone
for that water i soak in is my tears
and that dark cave is my head

I'm on a plain
I must of past cloud nine
She speaks of life
Like life is just to deal with
what ever your ddealt  
Hidden card a bluff of fearless
In it to win it
kknowing theirs an option to loose
She speaks of life
like an unborn's mood
TTreasures of dirt
As if it was gold
Salted waters
and waves of creation
bbeginning to mold me
Like life is just an illusion
No one can make u feel
no one can let u down no one can pick your self up
Only your wave of creation
The vibes u want are the vibes u make
timeless placement in a selfish state
she shows me life
as if it's was never existing



The angels watch and keep me strong
Apear in my dreams and tell me the wrongs
Show me the paths and sometimes the future
they never gave up and always been truthful
Hand over hand I rest with in good arms held by the tightest
Guardian  arms every day I walk and their hands in my palms

Seems to me that people call u a friend
Lie to your face and expect the rules to bend
Talk be hind your back and expect u to contend
Seems to me that u call people your friends
When the ******* u seek away and pretend
Their are more snakes then u think even
More snakes then the devil can send
You can be loyal as **** but beat down at the end
So many rips and tairs not able to mend

Two faced talkers smiles and eyes
A wolf in sheep's clothing what a beautiful disguise
I wait and watch carefully cause everyone just wants to ****
U unleashed a beast that can make wolves tails tuck
I've been nothing but loyal but it's never enough
People are different  but the same with some stuff
Greed and temptation will show change and set in stone
Your only out for your self and now I will always know
Narsisest complete with anger and disparate despair
I can care less for friends I'll still pay it forward I have no need for snakes  liars and talkers
...

I u live threw missing someone
U know u loved them

Locked sadness in a room
We sleep to a fan
And dream about doom
Past few times I open my eyes
My mother knocks to see if I'm alive
Haven't eaten for days
I left my job
Just want to be left alone
Turned my ringer off
So I don't hear my phone
I closed the shutter can't see if it's night or day
I haven't smoked or go out to play
My stomach  is smaller my heart is shot
As I sit in my bed to lay here and rot
I gave up on life cause every one gave up on me
I want to start over but I'm way to lonely
I don't want to meet I don't want to see
I just want a good job where no one bothers me
I live in silence I just left all that I know
I don't want to leave my bed or step out of this home
Weak I need to eat probably an apple would do
But I don't want to see life and what it can do
I sheltered my self I just look at the fan
I close my eyes to dream about eating again
Brain turned in to a mush my hole body is numb
I'm tired of life
Lusifer here I come

In the end a dream can just vanish
Distracted from reality
Woke up and disappear with insanity
Questions are asked but truth lies with morality
Awnsers are told but second guessings  can rattle me
Beneath my skin I'm the only won who battles me
I'm my own worst enemy
and the only best friend to me
Caged in chains with two blades that split grains
Two sides together can take what ever is sent to me
Often alone I'll aways have my company
To comfort me or spoil me
As long as intruders don't form in my life I can live happily  
Pain free

Really y even bother
They did nothing 4 u
Take your time leave u hanging
High and dry
Really y even bother
Used u for your money
Waisted  your time
She never loved u
She never cared
Y even bother
Y even care
U did nothing to her
U tried to help
She lied to your face
Day one and day two
She played with your emotions
Hanging with other dude
Y should I bother
Y should I care
U put food in her mouth
Gas in her tank
Made u look like the bad guy
And just threw u away
She would take your money and just run away
I slept with my wallet and my keys on the bed
Left them under my pillow right under my head
Y should I have love
I had faith I truly cared
But she damaged the trust
The threw me a side
She leave me for a couple days just to get high
I spent any dollar I had on her for or with us
But she wanted more then that
She got high off the rush
I can't even bother now don't even care
I have more things to worry about
Then someone who's not their

In the end we always say good bye
Even if u don't want to

In the beginning  we always think it's gunna work
Even when It won't

But in the middle of things we realize what it truly is


And the only thing u can do is work hard to make it right
Get rid of it or just ride it out

Nothing is ever forever people grow a bond.. grow apart.. or don't grow at all

My reality is exactly what it seems  
Cold hot sweats creating steam
Ride alone die alone I manage my own team
A dream of dreams a Dreamer dreams
The sun doesn't shine when I close my eyes
Its never daylight only darkened  sky's
Moon light shimmers over gloomy lakes
Hidden by the clouds stars glitter the sky's
threw the galaxy I test my limits
With open minds I have no addictions when I rest
I have plenty sleep its all I like to be alone with an open mind
I'm use to the pain I feel normal alone
Unless I let some one in... but that won't happen anymore
**** the world I I can't have no more friends
I loose them all cause forever ends

Maybe the sun has its darkest days
Shadowed by clouds
Dimming it's raise
Clogging it's passage
Maybe the moon has its light
Bright enough to light up the earth
Glowing in its ways
Radiant halos we call stars
A message to my lover who ever u are
I pray to the lands and speak for the sky's
A chance we meet again I want nothing but good vibes
The elements stand by us as we set fire to the land
And swim towards fresh air
The power we hold in are hands
Is nothing but positive energy
And would only sucssed with one another
I gave u my faith.. with arms wide open
I'm not mention for no one
Except that one the kept me focused

Waisted in a land of misary
Tourmented by my self
Cursed till the death of me
Lonely forever ill be
Singled out from  my pain
Looking in I can't see
Hurting cause its blinding
Lost alone
I find something to love
But they will never love me
I lay in bed for days no one even questions
Not one person would ever know
I drink my self to death
Drag my self to live
Owell is how I take it
Another on bites the dust
My feelings get the best of me
Overwhelming  my self to change
I'm eaten half way in side
My heart seams to fall even more apart
Shattered from this hell
I wake up just to pass back out
Day by day I live my life
Wondering why its so bad
I can't leave alone what I like
I push and push away
My stupidity gets the worst of me
My shame brings me down
I fall apart easily but since birth I worked it out
I can not have no one in my life
Cause when I do I fall in love and drag my self back to hell

Just waiting to dies slow
The pain is no better then the lies
heart akes with every breath
sadness and the feeling of nothing let
it's binds up and squeezes tight
Putting me out of place in a twilight
blood flow out of my eyes
hurt and heart broke from life
No friends to help out no one's around to see my torment
my life is a disaster  my soul is locked up in an air tight box
No time to breath no feeling of free no relaxation
And no self esteem
Fought for the end but now I'm just waiting
Theirs nothing left but pain and  paytionts  
Waiting to die I'm anxious

Only if I lift  my plate and pass it around
I had no food maybe when it comes back around
I try and lift it up but it always came strait back down
I try and do good but it's just never enough
I'm not bad I do no harm I'm just heartless and always alarmed
I keep my smile but in side you will hear what I say
I have a sad soul 85% depression  never been happy
Had it rough as an adilessont beat down everyday from a passive agretion town down pulled down alway *******
Never owned **** I had it rough as a kid sleeping under the bed so they couldn't find me I was frightened to talk  but always thought y me I close my eyes I see a man with a belt behind me cried most of my tears so young that I just sit here and wait for life's out come I'm not even fighting to live I'm just living too die

One day I wish I
Two day I
Just one day I
Know I'll meet my make
Today no
Tomorrow  no
But what's known I'll meet them some day
Not next month maybe not next year I wish and pray
My death it to meet my maker I tried to try is to fail I gave up
But life never gave up on me
I really give up and watch all around me
I follow death and wish I can meet my maker
They gave me dreams promises of snakes stabbing me
Bighting me snapping twisting jumping threw these streams
I'm extreme I'm just willing to not breath
And now my life is just torturing me I'd die if
I really wanted to I tried but my death is giving me graditude
Really I wish for a friend but I trust nothing bit death in the end I tried this is not the end I really pray life stops playing tricks on me cause in my dreams I rot I die in hell but I live on earth wishing to meet my maker

Still in this till the end
I sheltered my soul can covered my heart
I agreed to stick to my self
And just stay here alone

Just waiting to dies slow
The pain is no better then the lies
heart akes with every breath
sadness and the feeling of nothing let
it's binds up and squeezes tight
Putting me out of place in a twilight
blood flow out of my eyes
hurt and heart broke from life
No friends to help out no one's around to see my torment
my life is a disaster  my soul is locked up in an air tight box
No time to breath no feeling of free no relaxation
And no self esteem
Fought for the end but now I'm just waiting
Theirs nothing left but pain and  paytionts  
Waiting to die I'm anxious

As the wind blows
The world turns
the rivers flow
minds think
And the heart beats

My tears drop
Creating rain
Fogy days translucent  pain
Can't see
Two feet dropping buckets
Flooded their ain't no drain
I swim for blocks
I loose breath
I sink with no breaking sweat
My bubbles are all my regrets
I hold it in
Till my last hiccup
I spit up
Air is not there
Still lost event on land nothing to compare  
Six feet under no one knows
Stuck in a coffin under water know one knows
I try to break out
But like quick sand
The more u stress the more u sink
Stressed out
claustrophobic The more I blink
The more I breath
I worry about other who don't give a **** about me
I give them my air event tho I can't breath
And all I get is a ******* it means **** to me
I split the seas
I'm still a float locked in air tight
I can loose anything but my life
Or my money I'm a rare type

Thriving for change
Want a new leaf
Dieing for driffrent
Loosing my mind
Quit everything
But still stuck on one thing
Not fun no fair
It's just upsetting
painful just knowing
And funny it's ironic
My idiotsy  is to much for me now
Annoying I guess
I gave it all up really
Want to start all over
And I am lazier then ever
Battered I'd say I am
Beeten like scrambled
As I laugh and smile
Don't worry  
Its not u that troubled me
U didn't faze me
I knew it would happen like this
No I want to get so high
Till my heart stops
No one can change me but me
I live for the future
If feeling like I do can stop
It wouldn't matter
But I do and it *****
Opened my eyes
From a nap
I'd rather keep them closed forever

Amazing is the mid night breeze
The crashing waves
Reflections  in the deep blue sky's
A world of its own
We feel are high and relax in a zone
Hearing watching feeling  
Is a high alone
I love this time to clear my mind
It takes time... it takes time

Let me see the flaws of the worst of u
Open up till your negativity reacts
I want to see just to know
Let me see rage unleashed
Pain set aside I'd like to get to know the other u
Instead of hiding and acting one way
Cast away these spells of addiction
Open your eyes and let it go
Shaking with withdrawals  biting cheeks with grinding teeth
Let me see the best of u the change for the best
I'd like to know who u are I've already seen the worst of u
Nothings changed I'm still aware
I fight for a Chance  of a second shot
Soaking in my own sweat restless nights beginning days
I open up for u I'd change
By my self I am weak
And no one else seems to see
I spoke to u like I pray to God
Hopping for another shot
Years I gave up on me know one cared no one tried
But around u I felt alive
Damaged soul felt lifted and hole
The way u touch the feelings u mold
Chased away ran down my dreams
I close my eyes and its your eyes I see
For a long time you where the only one who bettered me

Idk maybe I'm not cut out
UN wanted

If I could speak to god
I wouldn't beg or demand
I simply come forth
or sstay ware I stand
I am not mad about what happened in the past
it seems like u put me on a road u can easily  crash
Forced on to a bad road
It's like u just threw me in trash
My decisions  my own when the choices where made
Not to smart got expelled in first grade
couldn't read till the middle of middle
I got tested every day by being belittled
It's not a thing about the past what's done is done
BuT ware am I going who have I become
Why am I in hell how long will this punishment last
I made a wrong turn as soon as I left that woum
Not all the choices where mine
It's the cards that u dealt
I can't seem to get a grip
Or ever work anything out
That's how I feel that's always what I felt
Got the short end of the stick
Right when I was born in this hell
I have so little questions and I know the answers will dwell
Can u help brighten my days
let me in on some faith
Cause I'm digging a hole with a shot gun to my face
I would like things to get better change for the best
Find some good friends and get out of this mess

Lost ones still communicate
Their souls are still around
Your love for them hurts u
Flashbacks from a sound

Lost ones still communicate
Threw dreams or a bbreeze
Goosebumps out of nowhere
From the sounds of the trees

I tell u they haunt  me
My loved ones are with me
When I close my eyes
or when I don't like what I see

I tell u they tell me
watch me threw the sky's
or their right next me
looking dead in my eyes

I still ask questions
They still second guess
I never follow my gut
I follow the gghost on my left

My best friends tthey haunt me
My ex girl is still here
some times I feel her squeeze me
a Lil will my eyes tear

I love feeling them around me
they help me see somewhat clear
I know I'm never alone
Cause they show me their souls are still near

I'm like a star
Millions of light years away
from any thing
No one is around
I shine by my self
Things float along
But to hot to come close to
I travel alone
I conversate with my self
No one shows up when I need help
No one not no one
it seem like
I only know how to make people leave
Walk away walk away
Know matter how good I do
No one stay no one stays

I really do miss my friend
I really hope they get better
Who knows Mable they won't talk to me
But I wish the best and would like to see them forever
I made a promise to sit and wait
I stay by my phone waiting for a phone call I
It may.never happen I love this  woman and wish we
could talk forever

Opened my mind for creativity
Outlooks and chances
Let in by light from the darkness of closed doors
In to the eyes let out by freedom of souls
An Ora surrounds  their features and halo
Captured  from sight even when it's not seen
A feeling of gut and passion of dreams
Intertwined  with mind body and soul
Whispers of charm let's out with a glow
As the sun sets the world will behold
Greater then good better then bad
Treasure with a smile transitions my sad

I'm done their is no creation bigger then God and my gods can even explain me

In to the night we shine
Glimmers of light sparkle
And shimmer away
Desolved from the sun
The world spins us away
As bright as can be
We wish upon are stars
In dreams of the day
Are future are told
We go where we want
With fortunes untold
Are lives are given to stop

I know this girl that laughs the same way she cries sounds like she gasps for her last breath be for she dies she keeps the struggle in her bubble dead in the center of her eyes she fakes lies till u look deep down black a to a pupil of her life she hides it good but every day she wants to die  I'd rather live she screamed out the choice is mine  this is my cancer and I own it with pride

Seconds of desractions
Can cause a life time of pain
moments of hesitation
Can be more of a loss then a gain
Often we challenge are time
but your decisions  can effect
Anyone's life
with a drop of a dime
U can think twice it's only a choice
the wrong risk can take away a voice

Falling in and out of trapped doors
We close one another opens
When it rains
The drops free my enslavement  
As I rise up from the floors
I maintain a slyte grin
It poor my eyes gloss
Determined  to chance a risk
I role my dice
For a hand of cards I chase
I awake  twisted with illusions of snakes
Granted I look at my friends first
Enormal I think I know I feel
Nothing alters a vain of blood
As they hand me water
Feed me lies
Tell me I'm special tell me I'm strong
Help me coexist from the pain of time
They feed me lies
Trash my trust
And stab my back
The **** my heart and
Grab my stash
They claim we make perfect sense
I stand alone
I gave up hope
I'm on my own
With a pain unknown
I gave in 100%
No I give nothing 100%
Played by vulcherz  
Just for Lil rocks
Now I'm altered in to a selfish state
I want nothing
That's just the music I face

God will guide u
Love and direct u
From this hell of survival
Clear u from your rival
Choices are made
Up to u which one u decide to
Love is why I'm alive
U have decisions
Your destination is awaiting your arrival
Your choice .. how ever u want to make it
You travel your own paths
Emotions may clash
Success  may not last
For better or worse
Things happen for reason
Go with it learn from the past
It takes time to heal after a crash
Just don't give up
Change up make life
Take out the trash

It hurts feeling like nothing
I ***** believing  it
Its bad thinking your nothing to no one
No one really gives u reason
Your just another tool in the bag
That can be replaced in seconds
I feel replaceable  
Doesn't it hurt when u know their is no real reason
To stick around
No one shows me they want me around
No one really does
Doesn't it ***** knowing
No one really cares

We live to feel
In depth and in contact
We all fall apart from with in
Some are stronger then others
We all loose trust for one and some for all
Its hard to trust everyone of them when the few
Have placed u in the outer element
Destroyed  my kingdom of trust
People leave people go
Abandoned  I always felt
Pushed away told to be forgotten
I have always been left I have always been hung out to dry
Zig zagging  down my broken dreams
Thumping threw my broken heart I will always be alone
I can't stand being left anymore I will do the leaving
B4 it even starts
My mind thinks and thinks and thinks
And knowing I will only be hurt tells me to just go
Do not stay no one loves u and know one has
Just go I say to my self just go
Cause every one has took u for your worth every time
I gave them my heart and the leave with my beat
I will never want to go threw this again
Cause it's always happened
Scared to let people in for some reason
I get the... your just a good guy... good enough to **** over and leave
I get that now. I have no trust I have no plans.. I want Nothing
As I stand here alone I am just me my self and I
I push away and some come back fight me for my love and just throw it away... now they will always fight cause for the time I decide to leave I have no heart cause a couple of them took all the beats away

Maybe the sun has its darkest days
Shadowed by clouds
Dimming it's raise
Clogging it's passage
Maybe the moon has its light
Bright enough to light up the earth
Glowing in its ways
Radiant halos we call stars
A message to my lover who ever u are
I pray to the lands and speak for the sky's
A chance we meet again I want nothing but good vibes
The elements stand by us as we set fire to the land
And swim towards fresh air
The power we hold in are hands
Is nothing but positive energy
And would only sucssed with one another
I gave u my faith.. with arms wide open
I'm not meant for no one
Except that one the kept me focused
We met once b4 we had a romance from the start
We all have are flaws... but still hope for the best
I hope it works out and for fill  your success  
Cause I will stand by your side flesh of my flesh

I would sit and relax but
I have to watch time fly
Are mess is cleanable
Hurt but still desire
Lust is not love
But having love does not truly mean your in love
I can't help but see
And it's all not good
In time we grow old
And knowing this
And knowing that
Are two different things
I truly be leave I will go older alone
I can not fall in love anymore
It's just disappointing
And I refuse to go threw it
My mess can be cleaned
And I will try and help
Anyone who needs it
The last girl I really wanted a good relationship with
Took the last peace of my heart
And I would definitely stick by her side
But she is done with me so I am done with dating
Only in time only in time
I will not look I will not search
I try my best when it can to relationships  
But now to me it just don't matter anymore
I live my life a single soul

I only did it for u
I only hit it for u
I wanted to be on the same page
Feel the same high
Breath the same air
Wondering if we would fly
I only did it with u
Its not really my style
I just wanted u to stay
So I lowered my gard and I tried
****
I only wanted a friend
A companion
At first we where **** in great
I could of stopped u
But u didn't want that from me
I couldn't control your needs
I really would of treated u like gold
But u left me stranded for a high
I don't do that *******
U take my money and go sleep with other guy
And know that u want to get clean
I get a **** u ******* and good by

Lost in the crowd
Alone and hurt
The pain runs thick
No one is beside u
No one is with u
Not one person really cares about u
I do nothing wrong
I do nothing right
I'm so sad inside it akes my heart
This is the worst depression
The pain is insane  
I can't live with it much longer
I'm getting weaker and weaker
I just know I don't be long here

Released in the colors of gray
Hidden beneath besides or above
Always their in the light
But the Darkness be hind it's matter
Some times look bigger then it should be
Or smaller then what it really is
It would walk with u at all times
and stay with u till the end
Some times I feel my shadow is my only friend
It never speaks back and does exactly  what I do
The only one ever around when I need someone
The only thing in my life that hasn't hurt my feelings
Or stabbed me in my back
My shadow is my best friend

If u are done u are done
I always new I was not your type
I felt that once B4
I have not yet found what I am looking for
I can not seem to keep anything
For the most part
I have  no time for the same old jokes

If I fly does it mean I have super strength  
If I win it doesn't mean I'll ever loose again
If I cave in
It don't mean I'll be stuck with in
under neath this rrebble
If I live
as free as I can be
it don't mean I'll liv forever now
life is timeless we can only get it ttogether now
It's endless so let's get it together now
if I scream
I sing out from my heart With in
if I speak I speak out from my heart right now
If I breath
I won't ever try to hold it in again
even from under water the bubbles rise
in time it takes seconds to feel alive
So let's get it together now
just get it together now
we can live for ever now
as long as we can breath this second
we are living fforever now
Let's just get together now and get it together now

In this I am
Life is 24\7
Waisted time is just waisted time
The wind only blew in to one chime
But they all made noise
While these ball rock
Tick tock tick tock
Holes in my sole
Shredded pants with some ripped socks
Hand me downs
From my uncle B4 my pops
Slept in a hallway on the floor between two doors
Rotten language  slurring screams
Broken plates and my squashed dreams
Seen them beat I'd sneak strait under the bed
Never slept the t.v so loud I still have the ringing in my head
So tired I'd walk to school 3rd grade on all alone
I'd sleep in class it was better then home
God I loved iss  been their  almost everyday I went
Peace and quiet got some rest
My brother was made he would take it all out on me
Never had a room I had a top bunk and half a closet
Nothing was mine if it was it would be broken or gone
**** it what's yours is mine if that's how it is I'd be happy with less then a dime .. well it didn't work courts at 12 by the time I was 13 group home time all we did was play spades and fight being the only  1 out of 2 white boys we where out numbered got jumped every other day stomped on my face I learned how to fight and respect they gave
Harassed once I got home every day cops stop no reason and search
How's your brother... even in front of my mother humiliation at worst
Every  day they would stop 6% of the time I couldn't even stash the **** I I was on probation B4 I could even read that's just a little in the beginning of my time labeled the bad kid no one was aloud near me

It's not a burden
For your hate
If u don't like me
It might not be a mastake
I don't need u never did
What u say.. I don't have to take
I leave all tthose behind
Contenplating who's back I stand behind
I've been on my own
For the most part
been hated my hole life
Your words won't Cause a spark
I don't want u in my life
Just positive marks
Their is no time to hate
***** what u think
I have more pain then your hate
And I know my place
I don't hate I don't talk
I have more things on my plate
Then to sit and judge
The best advice to tell u
Is just to forget who I was

Starvation of the poor
Hunger and a hole lot more