At times we need some times we want swimming threw a creak in to the swamp I step I sink I move I drop. A Lil bit lower I brings me down with every step I keep on pushing muddy and soaking wet I loose my shoes and can't see where I step my pants are soaked and waighs me down I take them off with no regrets not much further till I see some success  forward I move while I bleed out sweat  I push I pull watching  out for what I grab  life can hand u something that bites or stabs I dream of snakes  when I meet some new only a few can help me threw    this mucky land  I can't afford to sink further then I sand my knees my my waist my chest my neck any further it's worse then death I watch I pray I push away every day I choose my way I help I breath or I'm in the breeze all I want is this mud to stay from under my feet be careful who u choose when it's time to meet cause some will leave u dead and beet

At times we need some times we want swimming threw a creak in to the swamp I step I sink I move I drop. A Lil bit lower I brings me down with every step I keep on pushing muddy and soaking wet I loose my shoes and can't see where I step my pants are soaked and waighs me down I take them off with no regrets not much further till I see some success  forward I move while I bleed out sweat  I push I pull watching  out for what I grab  life can hand u something that bites or stabs I dream of snakes  when I meet some new only a few can help me threw    this mucky land  I can't afford to sink further then I sand my knees my my waist my chest my neck any further it's worse then death I watch I pray I push away every day I choose my way I help I breath or I'm in the breeze all I want is this mud to stay from under my feet be careful who u choose when it's time to meet cause some will leave u dead and beet

I learned how to fly 4 nothing

shattered my own broken heart
diminished to the lowest feeling
belittled my confidence
i steered  my self to a dead end  
i crash thinking i could love again
after my love left this earth  
the remembrance of her appeared
in a beautiful soul
an Ora of an angle
reflections of lights off her skin in the dark  
my heart  instantly wanted to work again
dreams appeared my brain was focused
i had a chance and it was amazing
i felt the energy run threw my blood
the connection was incredible
but every time i saw this outstanding person
my love grew strong
but love she was not looking for
i strained my mind
shattering  my heart that was broke already

Only in life a mind body and soul is all in one
When we sleep our mind and soul freely run
The time will come are soul will leave
Reincarnate to who we are supposed to be
The sun the moon the stars do last
But are body's are just an hour glass
Time will tick it can only live so long
It goes so  fast  but no need to run or dash
Love the ones and cherish them b4 they pass
Cause only in your dreams they will always belong
Time is ticking till it stops and are mind body and soul separates and move on

to truly think existence is a matter
im still here but dont feel seen
my mind reacts with depression
lost in a cave under the sea
droning slowly
hopping to be noticed
and i was
pulled out of my doubt
refreshed with faith
but it was just for a few moments
i got so excited that i was found
rambunctious i became
*** i felt like i was loosing my way again
and the more i push i started swimming down
down to that cave i droned
with more pain i had
no matter how much people help
it feels like they ruin me more
i sit in deep waters with pruned hands
waterlogged and warped  
comfortable with being alone
for that water i soak in is my tears
and that dark cave is my head

Only in the mind
My addiction is company
Not mysrable
Happy alone
Happier with company
But happy alone
Tired of being only for my self
I'd save just to waist I'd cherish every moment it takes
Useless only in my head
If asked treasure is worth more then gold

I'm like a star
Millions of light years away
from any thing
No one is around
I shine by my self
Things float along
But to hot to come close to
I travel alone
I conversate with my self
No one shows up when I need help
No one not no one
it seem like
I only know how to make people leave
Walk away walk away
Know matter how good I do
No one stay no one stays

Deep down we yell
Screaming for a love
Some will never get
Dragged around are feet we walk
Heads are below are chest
Yerning for company
Swollowing are throats
Sarounded by the world and yet
We get more attention. From a plant
No one is around me but many are near
Hurting in so many ways
It shows out load and clear
People ask but don't listen
Turned away cause its not what they wanted to hear
Fake smiles and silky talk
But inside we don't get it are selves
Its just the way it is
Some people just have it
Sadness is in their blood

A slave to love a dark time for my heart to feel  a sucker  that punishes him self from a deep pain of feeling ice cold this world is ice cold I must not become..  a four letter word that rips me to peace every chance it takes  cursed since birth is a feeling I will never learn to deal with  torments me and brings me down any chance they can I will only breath steam in this ice cold world cause me heart is to big to give up on love

Dedly salt and pepper  corn
Ring drawn out with roses thorns
Splinters an paper cuts
Can even take off the Devils horns

Avacdo and kale are super foods
Even the most unlikely can be super rude
I don't take offense or give up on them
Even super hero's can be in ****** moods

Cages and chain link fences
cant maintain any of the five senses
Thoughts can be faster the warp speed
Everyday a person can have more need
It's senseless to make progress going backward
I processed  the capability  to proceeds
Even one addiction  can turn in to more then three

Thriving for change
Want a new leaf
Dieing for driffrent
Loosing my mind
Quit everything
But still stuck on one thing
Not fun no fair
It's just upsetting
painful just knowing
And funny it's ironic
My idiotsy  is to much for me now
Annoying I guess
I gave it all up really
Want to start all over
And I am lazier then ever
Battered I'd say I am
Beeten like scrambled
As I laugh and smile
Don't worry  
Its not u that troubled me
U didn't faze me
I knew it would happen like this
No I want to get so high
Till my heart stops
No one can change me but me
I live for the future
If feeling like I do can stop
It wouldn't matter
But I do and it *****
Opened my eyes
From a nap
I'd rather keep them closed forever

Opened my mind for creativity
Outlooks and chances
Let in by light from the darkness of closed doors
In to the eyes let out by freedom of souls
An Ora surrounds  their features and halo
Captured  from sight even when it's not seen
A feeling of gut and passion of dreams
Intertwined  with mind body and soul
Whispers of charm let's out with a glow
As the sun sets the world will behold
Greater then good better then bad
Treasure with a smile transitions my sad

I can't wish I can only feed I give food
To the ones who need
The ones who feed me
Are only a part of a dream
But it seems I hold on to a part
That will only fall apart on me

I know this girl
That laughs the same way she cries
sounds like she gasps hher last breath B4 she dies
She sacrificed her life
for her child's bright blue eyes
She tried her hardest to stay alive
She battled her pain
To see her baby's first breath
Just to let go of the last beat in her chest
Her strength held on with every push
And now her soul lives on to make sure that child is good

One day I wish I
Two day I
Just one day I
Know I'll meet my make
Today no
Tomorrow  no
But what's known I'll meet them some day
Not next month maybe not next year I wish and pray
My death it to meet my maker I tried to try is to fail I gave up
But life never gave up on me
I really give up and watch all around me
I follow death and wish I can meet my maker
They gave me dreams promises of snakes stabbing me
Bighting me snapping twisting jumping threw these streams
I'm extreme I'm just willing to not breath
And now my life is just torturing me I'd die if
I really wanted to I tried but my death is giving me graditude
Really I wish for a friend but I trust nothing bit death in the end I tried this is not the end I really pray life stops playing tricks on me cause in my dreams I rot I die in hell but I live on earth wishing to meet my maker

Seconds of desractions
Can cause a life time of pain
moments of hesitation
Can be more of a loss then a gain
Often we challenge are time
but your decisions  can effect
Anyone's life
with a drop of a dime
U can think twice it's only a choice
the wrong risk can take away a voice

I am just one Lil fish in a fishbowl
Surrounded by hooks
the glass can hold a gallon but only have 2 cups
swimming  all alone
no one near my no on in site
I get fed once a day
it's alright
circles and circles I go
My reflection is the best part
selfless and shiny
I skim the top
Broken from desire
as I bubble up some air
No one is beside me no one is around
I pay no mind I shelter in the same spot I play
no one is with me No one is near by

Good love is had to find... I'm unlucky.... I'm unlucky

Is it wrong to not trust you
Do me wrong and still love u
Want to gain it back at the same time
Knowing it's just not gunna happen
emotionally steaming trying to work it out
High and dry u left me
Hoping u understand my anger
And y I always bring it up
in my mind I had enough
But my heart is more like don't be a stranger
Can't really seem to get a grip
Feel lied and cheated on some foolish ****
I keep putting my self in danger
Just cause of my loneliness

I'm done their is no creation bigger then God and my gods can even explain me

So sad

Sleep walking my life
Their but not truly
I like to find some one who doesn't want to loose me
but we just hold on loosely  
I'd like to be smothered held on too and covered
I'd like to have everything I've never had
Kept in line with smiles and cries
some day I could say I've never been so glad
Mend my heart no rubble dert or dark
Just a love with fireworks and sparks
Some one to mend my heart

Just waiting to dies slow
The pain is no better then the lies
heart akes with every breath
sadness and the feeling of nothing let
it's binds up and squeezes tight
Putting me out of place in a twilight
blood flow out of my eyes
hurt and heart broke from life
No friends to help out no one's around to see my torment
my life is a disaster  my soul is locked up in an air tight box
No time to breath no feeling of free no relaxation
And no self esteem
Fought for the end but now I'm just waiting
Theirs nothing left but pain and  paytionts  
Waiting to die I'm anxious

No choice no mind no option no opinion money money money money learn to live l8k3 a prince **** it I run my kingdom

In the end a dream can just vanish
Distracted from reality
Woke up and disappear with insanity
Questions are asked but truth lies with morality
Awnsers are told but second guessings  can rattle me
Beneath my skin I'm the only won who battles me
I'm my own worst enemy
and the only best friend to me
Caged in chains with two blades that split grains
Two sides together can take what ever is sent to me
Often alone I'll aways have my company
To comfort me or spoil me
As long as intruders don't form in my life I can live happily  
Pain free

Existence
Here nor their
A Pease  of matter
That really don't matter
I exist but don't
I feel invisible
Like the air that surrounds me
But stagnant
Only if one can see
I'd give my all to them
Undermined
I'd probably get struck by lightning
B4 someone will stay
I'm just a good time for just a night
my undivided atention is unwated
my love is never needed
My pain grows with every one I meet

It's only a negative to me when feelings arupt
Love is fake and emotions cerupt
It takes control and it's hard to ajust  
My hole life I'd just take it and rush
Nothing ever last all it does is mess with my head
No one is real I'd just rather be dead
I stay alone even with a crowd
Only people play with my head and tare my heart down
Just a feeling of me that no one likes it's
When I accompany I'm just left alone it's not the first Time.
I tear my way home
.setting a ground no one is aloud
I'm meant to be alone and alone I am now

My reality is exactly what it seems  
Cold hot sweats creating steam
Ride alone die alone I manage my own team
A dream of dreams a Dreamer dreams
The sun doesn't shine when I close my eyes
Its never daylight only darkened  sky's
Moon light shimmers over gloomy lakes
Hidden by the clouds stars glitter the sky's
threw the galaxy I test my limits
With open minds I have no addictions when I rest
I have plenty sleep its all I like to be alone with an open mind
I'm use to the pain I feel normal alone
Unless I let some one in... but that won't happen anymore
**** the world I I can't have no more friends
I loose them all cause forever ends

Still in this till the end
I sheltered my soul can covered my heart
I agreed to stick to my self
And just stay here alone

Waisted in a land of misary
Tourmented by my self
Cursed till the death of me
Lonely forever ill be
Singled out from  my pain
Looking in I can't see
Hurting cause its blinding
Lost alone
I find something to love
But they will never love me
I lay in bed for days no one even questions
Not one person would ever know
I drink my self to death
Drag my self to live
Owell is how I take it
Another on bites the dust
My feelings get the best of me
Overwhelming  my self to change
I'm eaten half way in side
My heart seams to fall even more apart
Shattered from this hell
I wake up just to pass back out
Day by day I live my life
Wondering why its so bad
I can't leave alone what I like
I push and push away
My stupidity gets the worst of me
My shame brings me down
I fall apart easily but since birth I worked it out
I can not have no one in my life
Cause when I do I fall in love and drag my self back to hell

I know this girl that laughs the same way she cries sounds like she gasps for her last breath be for she dies she keeps the struggle in her bubble dead in the center of her eyes she fakes lies till u look deep down black a to a pupil of her life she hides it good but every day she wants to die  I'd rather live she screamed out the choice is mine  this is my cancer and I own it with pride

If I fly does it mean I have super strength  
If I win it doesn't mean I'll ever loose again
If I cave in
It don't mean I'll be stuck with in
under neath this rrebble
If I live
as free as I can be
it don't mean I'll liv forever now
life is timeless we can only get it ttogether now
It's endless so let's get it together now
if I scream
I sing out from my heart With in
if I speak I speak out from my heart right now
If I breath
I won't ever try to hold it in again
even from under water the bubbles rise
in time it takes seconds to feel alive
So let's get it together now
just get it together now
we can live for ever now
as long as we can breath this second
we are living fforever now
Let's just get together now and get it together now

Not everyday can you wake up gets ****** over and be nice about it..
Apologies mean nothing I can live with out it
But to do the same thing over and over I ain't really about it
My stubborn is careless but I hurt no one but me
I go behind no one's back lie or just leave

A poor man's soul once told me u can live blind and still be able to see
Or u can have site and live life blindly

I care way to much till I begin to get hurt I still don't give up till I feel I'm lessening my worth

I've been left for dead more then a dozen even by family often by people I can call cousin  or by people u think u can love.. I must of been buggin

Never really had no one always chose to be alone theirs so much drama in the word and to me it's just better for it to be unknown

In the end are looses are really a win
A win that can't be beaten..
A lesson can be brought up as a downer
No depression  is just insane
Everyone wins everyone hurts everyone lives with them selves
Chances are always given u have to fall to stand back up taller
You have to loose to fight harder to win
Don't just take anything as a loss cause everything that goes on in your life prepares u for your next step forward

I u live threw missing someone
U know u loved them

Tears from the sky's
Drops falling  down
Soaking into the earth
Deep down inside

The gray clouds in a black sky
Flashes screaming out loud
Letting out what was soaked up
From deep down

The stars disappear the moon follows and the sun comes out... as long as u pay attention to the lights in the darkness u will find your way to a bright day...

Driven by dreams tormented from desire
A waist  of matter such a waist of time
Only if I can only if I could
I can dream and dream and dream
the reality is I can
My self worth is only half of me
the other half is just a dream
I can never satisfie my self.. nore others.. that's what it seems  
All I hear is lies and lies and lies
U are no friend, no lover and u are no enemy
I do not exist.. and u do not exist to me...
Sick of thinking I can love someone
Tired of feeling schemed
Nothing can change the fact that I am hopeless
And wish everything was just a dream

I go to the end of the earth
To see the galaxies reflection
In the waves and calm waters
The ripples begin from a breeze
Still looking downwards  up
From a distance
Like looking half way threw the mirror
The sounds of the clashing white waters Magnifies  
And expands the mind like a hulusanagen
Open from all angles   u can feel each element around u
Free and exact
The night of day
The breath of the sea
The fire of light
And the land we comfortably control like it means nothing
If I can live and breath the site of a beach every night
I'd fully be at peace

Cause I'm all the way up we turn up smoked it all we burnt up we burn what... fires lit flames lit from some home made ****
Two stones each chrome
Both blown
I'm coming home
That's my life and I'm grown

I already mastered a woman's heart she's gone
I cry every night I make a river from a pond
I finish bottles with dark sky's and bright stars
Me and a full moon have this bond
Damage done my eyes dont dry when i hear the words from young
It's crazy how things haunt u and it's all over with nothing said or done
I like to enjoy my moments and I'm so much better alone
Cause I can't explain my self nor do I like to go home
I can't sleep till I'm good and ready
my smiles a charmer but my eyes give me a way
So just have a drink with me cause anyone can be gone in a day

Y cheat y lie
Y stab someone in the back
Who wants to help
Y drain your self for someone who will hurt u
Y bother
Getting hurt goes both ways
You let them do it
I learned a lesson in a relationship
I was so easy going it ruined it
I let them have all the freedom they wanted
Gave them everything they asked
Allowed them to make their choice
And it bit me in the ***
Y even bother should I be more demanding
Is that the affection  they want
Idk all I know is I can't be controlled
So y bother being controlling
I was born to be single
Forget being with anyone
I love my self more when I'm sober alone
And that's what I am gunna be

It don't bother me if u don't like me
I don't like me
I never expect things to go the way they go
It's un expected
U entered my life.... life is just a fling
And that's all i expect everything to be
A fling I pushed u away for a reason
No one ever sticks around
But don't fight with me to stay in my life
Just to make me hate my self even more

Let it be
I know it's me
I hear it often
Really sour but spoken sweet
my hearts been broken  
And now it's rotting
Cold cells run threw my warm blood
I have issues yes because
U lost mmy trust
I wish u didn't do that cause u lost my love
Feeling used beat down and hurt
It's worse then hearing
that your dieing  since your birth
it's really messed up how my life works

Maybe the sun has its darkest days
Shadowed by clouds
Dimming it's raise
Clogging it's passage
Maybe the moon has its light
Bright enough to light up the earth
Glowing in its ways
Radiant halos we call stars
A message to my lover who ever u are
I pray to the lands and speak for the sky's
A chance we meet again I want nothing but good vibes
The elements stand by us as we set fire to the land
And swim towards fresh air
The power we hold in are hands
Is nothing but positive energy
And would only sucssed with one another
I gave u my faith.. with arms wide open
I'm not mention for no one
Except that one the kept me focused

Lost in the crowd
Alone and hurt
The pain runs thick
No one is beside u
No one is with u
Not one person really cares about u
I do nothing wrong
I do nothing right
I'm so sad inside it akes my heart
This is the worst depression
The pain is insane  
I can't live with it much longer
I'm getting weaker and weaker
I just know I don't be long here

In to the night we shine
Glimmers of light sparkle
And shimmer away
Desolved from the sun
The world spins us away
As bright as can be
We wish upon are stars
In dreams of the day
Are future are told
We go where we want
With fortunes untold
Are lives are given to stop

Every day I day dream about six feet
Even when I'm sober or even when I sleep
Everyday I wonder I think of my death
I know it's gunna be painful
Maybe not as bad as my stress
Everyday I open my eyes I rise and shine
I get out of my bed and just want to crawl right back in time
It's like life is a test knowing I want to die
Just to see how long I'll last b4 I take what's mine
Everyday I daydream about being 6ft
Everyday I wonder what it would be like with out me
Got nothing going just use to walking these streets
As good as I'm doing I close my eyes and I feel dead beat
No calls no shows not one text I've been alone for months
I give it one day no can remember only to forget
Everyday I rise and shine fake smile waist of time...
The only thing really going for me is that just one day I'm gunna take what's mine

Mistakes are made.. everyone screws up. I forgive.. I learn to let go.. I learn to be alone.. but I've learned never to put down.. even if I walk away I still hold them in my heart.. no one is forgotten