At times we need some times we want swimming threw a creak in to the swamp I step I sink I move I drop. A Lil bit lower I brings me down with every step I keep on pushing muddy and soaking wet I loose my shoes and can't see where I step my pants are soaked and waighs me down I take them off with no regrets not much further till I see some success  forward I move while I bleed out sweat  I push I pull watching  out for what I grab  life can hand u something that bites or stabs I dream of snakes  when I meet some new only a few can help me threw    this mucky land  I can't afford to sink further then I sand my knees my my waist my chest my neck any further it's worse then death I watch I pray I push away every day I choose my way I help I breath or I'm in the breeze all I want is this mud to stay from under my feet be careful who u choose when it's time to meet cause some will leave u dead and beet

At times we need some times we want swimming threw a creak in to the swamp I step I sink I move I drop. A Lil bit lower I brings me down with every step I keep on pushing muddy and soaking wet I loose my shoes and can't see where I step my pants are soaked and waighs me down I take them off with no regrets not much further till I see some success  forward I move while I bleed out sweat  I push I pull watching  out for what I grab  life can hand u something that bites or stabs I dream of snakes  when I meet some new only a few can help me threw    this mucky land  I can't afford to sink further then I sand my knees my my waist my chest my neck any further it's worse then death I watch I pray I push away every day I choose my way I help I breath or I'm in the breeze all I want is this mud to stay from under my feet be careful who u choose when it's time to meet cause some will leave u dead and beet

I learned how to fly 4 nothing

shattered my own broken heart
diminished to the lowest feeling
belittled my confidence
i steered  my self to a dead end  
i crash thinking i could love again
after my love left this earth  
the remembrance of her appeared
in a beautiful soul
an Ora of an angle
reflections of lights off her skin in the dark  
my heart  instantly wanted to work again
dreams appeared my brain was focused
i had a chance and it was amazing
i felt the energy run threw my blood
the connection was incredible
but every time i saw this outstanding person
my love grew strong
but love she was not looking for
i strained my mind
shattering  my heart that was broke already

Only in life a mind body and soul is all in one
When we sleep our mind and soul freely run
The time will come are soul will leave
Reincarnate to who we are supposed to be
The sun the moon the stars do last
But are body's are just an hour glass
Time will tick it can only live so long
It goes so  fast  but no need to run or dash
Love the ones and cherish them b4 they pass
Cause only in your dreams they will always belong
Time is ticking till it stops and are mind body and soul separates and move on

to truly think existence is a matter
im still here but dont feel seen
my mind reacts with depression
lost in a cave under the sea
droning slowly
hopping to be noticed
and i was
pulled out of my doubt
refreshed with faith
but it was just for a few moments
i got so excited that i was found
rambunctious i became
*** i felt like i was loosing my way again
and the more i push i started swimming down
down to that cave i droned
with more pain i had
no matter how much people help
it feels like they ruin me more
i sit in deep waters with pruned hands
waterlogged and warped  
comfortable with being alone
for that water i soak in is my tears
and that dark cave is my head

I can only laugh after u made me cry so much
I do not face away or turn my back
I simply stand their and watch u back away
I am harnessed to a limb down a river that falls
Beneath is rocks crashing waters
I do not want to let go because your life is in my hands
But I can not take this.. un able to swim for u
I will only drowned eachother the brittle rope im straped too
Can no longer hold two
I untie me and tie u i can no longer hold use togeather
I let go .. i drink no longer do i have air to breath
I plunge down rapped streams down a fall that drifts me away peace by peace my feelings curupt and my heart is no longer their i have feelings of distruction  as i hit the bottom of the fall

It's JUST a feeling
Dwelling in my soul
CChewing me up and spitting me out
Used and then let go
Smile in my face
Rip my hheart out from the back
Misunderstood and always attacked
No one really likes me
Just friends cause I'm easily used
No one sticks around left for dead
Abandoning  me with nothing said
I guess they where not amused

It's hard to live with no confidence  and no inspiration  walls are thin one poke it caves in dream about death think about death want to leave but he won't let me  punished my hole life born in hell I drink to cope but I try and cope to much **** priorities  my life ***** some many ways to die I chose a few  I'm not scared of death but with me I think he's amused knowing every breath is torture and I'm painfully living slow

Twisted lies and battered tears
Whisk togeather to show are saddened pears
We have a toast to are primal fears
I lived threw death I cheated life
I slit my wrists with a semi dull knife
Hears to life we hold up are beers
Grab the wheel it's your own life you steer

Tattoos hide the scares
Only my eyes conceal

Locked sadness in a room
We sleep to a fan
And dream about doom
Past few times I open my eyes
My mother knocks to see if I'm alive
Haven't eaten for days
I left my job
Just want to be left alone
Turned my ringer off
So I don't hear my phone
I closed the shutter can't see if it's night or day
I haven't smoked or go out to play
My stomach  is smaller my heart is shot
As I sit in my bed to lay here and rot
I gave up on life cause every one gave up on me
I want to start over but I'm way to lonely
I don't want to meet I don't want to see
I just want a good job where no one bothers me
I live in silence I just left all that I know
I don't want to leave my bed or step out of this home
Weak I need to eat probably an apple would do
But I don't want to see life and what it can do
I sheltered my self I just look at the fan
I close my eyes to dream about eating again
Brain turned in to a mush my hole body is numb
I'm tired of life
Lusifer here I come

As the wind blows
The world turns
the rivers flow
minds think
And the heart beats

Sleep walking my life
Their but not truly
I like to find some one who doesn't want to loose me
but we just hold on loosely  
I'd like to be smothered held on too and covered
I'd like to have everything I've never had
Kept in line with smiles and cries
some day I could say I've never been so glad
Mend my heart no rubble dert or dark
Just a love with fireworks and sparks
Some one to mend my heart

Tears from the sky's
Drops falling  down
Soaking into the earth
Deep down inside

The gray clouds in a black sky
Flashes screaming out loud
Letting out what was soaked up
From deep down

My tears drop
Creating rain
Fogy days translucent  pain
Can't see
Two feet dropping buckets
Flooded their ain't no drain
I swim for blocks
I loose breath
I sink with no breaking sweat
My bubbles are all my regrets
I hold it in
Till my last hiccup
I spit up
Air is not there
Still lost event on land nothing to compare  
Six feet under no one knows
Stuck in a coffin under water know one knows
I try to break out
But like quick sand
The more u stress the more u sink
Stressed out
claustrophobic The more I blink
The more I breath
I worry about other who don't give a **** about me
I give them my air event tho I can't breath
And all I get is a ******* it means **** to me
I split the seas
I'm still a float locked in air tight
I can loose anything but my life
Or my money I'm a rare type

I love
I love life
I love people  
I love the site
I love the feeling
I love to love
I love u
As much I love to drink
I got a job I work hard
But some times
I know love keeps me alive

Every one 8s a couple
And it's just me my self and I
Waiting for tthat hand to hold
So bold I live life alone
No one to please no one stays
everyone leaves with a peace that lays
In side my soul with in my heart
I stand alone and always apart
I wish for something
I can never have
It's always a ttaste the makes me sad

Maybe the sun has its darkest days
Shadowed by clouds
Dimming it's raise
Clogging it's passage
Maybe the moon has its light
Bright enough to light up the earth
Glowing in its ways
Radiant halos we call stars
A message to my lover who ever u are
I pray to the lands and speak for the sky's
A chance we meet again I want nothing but good vibes
The elements stand by us as we set fire to the land
And swim towards fresh air
The power we hold in are hands
Is nothing but positive energy
And would only sucssed with one another
I gave u my faith.. with arms wide open
I'm not meant for no one
Except that one the kept me focused
We met once b4 we had a romance from the start
We all have are flaws... but still hope for the best
I hope it works out and for fill  your success  
Cause I will stand by your side flesh of my flesh

I spend way to much time over thinking
I sit alone and my brain goes on
Good bad ether one
Drinking helps me sleep
I mind my business  and easily dream
nightmares will always come
I sleep threw them until their done
BuT my mind goes and goes and keeps going on
when I'm by my self I feel like somethings wrong
I keep busy non stop till I try and sleep
but my mind keeps stressing me
It hurts me inside ànd it won't let me be
Only when I'm alone
My mind really keeps bothering me

Y is it I always find the wrong crowed
I can help them but then I tell them
And my negative speaks to me real load
Can't change the fact
But I walk away and when I walk away I
Stand real proud
Knowing I told u so I saw it happen
I gave u a for warning
I told u when it rains it's gunna rain and be all for it
But u don't listen and I'm just a bad guy
and it just started pouring

Rage in side... anger shows
*******.. about to throw some bows
When u speak... I will scream
I'm ****** the ******* at this human being
Selfish poor me money money money
Help me help me help me... **** that one or the other
J Put Food On THE Plate I Help When I Can I Give U Cash
And u cry full grown man... u make no sense
I heard u talking ****.. I don't need that in my life
On u I forfeit.

No choice no mind no option no opinion money money money money learn to live l8k3 a prince **** it I run my kingdom

Y cheat y lie
Y stab someone in the back
Who wants to help
Y drain your self for someone who will hurt u
Y bother
Getting hurt goes both ways
You let them do it
I learned a lesson in a relationship
I was so easy going it ruined it
I let them have all the freedom they wanted
Gave them everything they asked
Allowed them to make their choice
And it bit me in the ***
Y even bother should I be more demanding
Is that the affection  they want
Idk all I know is I can't be controlled
So y bother being controlling
I was born to be single
Forget being with anyone
I love my self more when I'm sober alone
And that's what I am gunna be

I know this girl that laughs the same way she cries sounds like she gasps for her last breath be for she dies she keeps the struggle in her bubble dead in the center of her eyes she fakes lies till u look deep down black a to a pupil of her life she hides it good but every day she wants to die  I'd rather live she screamed out the choice is mine  this is my cancer and I own it with pride

Only if I lift  my plate and pass it around
I had no food maybe when it comes back around
I try and lift it up but it always came strait back down
I try and do good but it's just never enough
I'm not bad I do no harm I'm just heartless and always alarmed
I keep my smile but in side you will hear what I say
I have a sad soul 85% depression  never been happy
Had it rough as an adilessont beat down everyday from a passive agretion town down pulled down alway *******
Never owned **** I had it rough as a kid sleeping under the bed so they couldn't find me I was frightened to talk  but always thought y me I close my eyes I see a man with a belt behind me cried most of my tears so young that I just sit here and wait for life's out come I'm not even fighting to live I'm just living too die

Flowing full of energy a constant rush of fresh air bleeding out bursts of positivity a change I never thought I would see created by raise from the sun on a clear unclouded day

Deep down we yell
Screaming for a love
Some will never get
Dragged around are feet we walk
Heads are below are chest
Yerning for company
Swollowing are throats
Sarounded by the world and yet
We get more attention. From a plant
No one is around me but many are near
Hurting in so many ways
It shows out load and clear
People ask but don't listen
Turned away cause its not what they wanted to hear
Fake smiles and silky talk
But inside we don't get it are selves
Its just the way it is
Some people just have it
Sadness is in their blood

Lost in the crowd
Alone and hurt
The pain runs thick
No one is beside u
No one is with u
Not one person really cares about u
I do nothing wrong
I do nothing right
I'm so sad inside it akes my heart
This is the worst depression
The pain is insane  
I can't live with it much longer
I'm getting weaker and weaker
I just know I don't be long here

In the end we always say good bye
Even if u don't want to

In the beginning  we always think it's gunna work
Even when It won't

But in the middle of things we realize what it truly is


And the only thing u can do is work hard to make it right
Get rid of it or just ride it out

Nothing is ever forever people grow a bond.. grow apart.. or don't grow at all

Not everyday can you wake up gets ****** over and be nice about it..
Apologies mean nothing I can live with out it
But to do the same thing over and over I ain't really about it
My stubborn is careless but I hurt no one but me
I go behind no one's back lie or just leave

A poor man's soul once told me u can live blind and still be able to see
Or u can have site and live life blindly

I care way to much till I begin to get hurt I still don't give up till I feel I'm lessening my worth

I've been left for dead more then a dozen even by family often by people I can call cousin  or by people u think u can love.. I must of been buggin

Never really had no one always chose to be alone theirs so much drama in the word and to me it's just better for it to be unknown

Who cares no one.,,,,i am worth millions ... and rather die b4 I touch any penny alone no one will give me enough love to spend a dime  it ***** cause I suffer for the fact no love will take me for being broke ... I'd rather stay broke  ******* American girls ..... it's a great big world

It's not a burden
For your hate
If u don't like me
It might not be a mastake
I don't need u never did
What u say.. I don't have to take
I leave all tthose behind
Contenplating who's back I stand behind
I've been on my own
For the most part
been hated my hole life
Your words won't Cause a spark
I don't want u in my life
Just positive marks
Their is no time to hate
***** what u think
I have more pain then your hate
And I know my place
I don't hate I don't talk
I have more things on my plate
Then to sit and judge
The best advice to tell u
Is just to forget who I was

God will guide u
Love and direct u
From this hell of survival
Clear u from your rival
Choices are made
Up to u which one u decide to
Love is why I'm alive
U have decisions
Your destination is awaiting your arrival
Your choice .. how ever u want to make it
You travel your own paths
Emotions may clash
Success  may not last
For better or worse
Things happen for reason
Go with it learn from the past
It takes time to heal after a crash
Just don't give up
Change up make life
Take out the trash

Only in the mind
My addiction is company
Not mysrable
Happy alone
Happier with company
But happy alone
Tired of being only for my self
I'd save just to waist I'd cherish every moment it takes
Useless only in my head
If asked treasure is worth more then gold

Really y even bother
They did nothing 4 u
Take your time leave u hanging
High and dry
Really y even bother
Used u for your money
Waisted  your time
She never loved u
She never cared
Y even bother
Y even care
U did nothing to her
U tried to help
She lied to your face
Day one and day two
She played with your emotions
Hanging with other dude
Y should I bother
Y should I care
U put food in her mouth
Gas in her tank
Made u look like the bad guy
And just threw u away
She would take your money and just run away
I slept with my wallet and my keys on the bed
Left them under my pillow right under my head
Y should I have love
I had faith I truly cared
But she damaged the trust
The threw me a side
She leave me for a couple days just to get high
I spent any dollar I had on her for or with us
But she wanted more then that
She got high off the rush
I can't even bother now don't even care
I have more things to worry about
Then someone who's not their

I can't wish I can only feed I give food
To the ones who need
The ones who feed me
Are only a part of a dream
But it seems I hold on to a part
That will only fall apart on me

I would sit and relax but
I have to watch time fly
Are mess is cleanable
Hurt but still desire
Lust is not love
But having love does not truly mean your in love
I can't help but see
And it's all not good
In time we grow old
And knowing this
And knowing that
Are two different things
I truly be leave I will go older alone
I can not fall in love anymore
It's just disappointing
And I refuse to go threw it
My mess can be cleaned
And I will try and help
Anyone who needs it
The last girl I really wanted a good relationship with
Took the last peace of my heart
And I would definitely stick by her side
But she is done with me so I am done with dating
Only in time only in time
I will not look I will not search
I try my best when it can to relationships  
But now to me it just don't matter anymore
I live my life a single soul

If I could speak to god
I wouldn't beg or demand
I simply come forth
or sstay ware I stand
I am not mad about what happened in the past
it seems like u put me on a road u can easily  crash
Forced on to a bad road
It's like u just threw me in trash
My decisions  my own when the choices where made
Not to smart got expelled in first grade
couldn't read till the middle of middle
I got tested every day by being belittled
It's not a thing about the past what's done is done
BuT ware am I going who have I become
Why am I in hell how long will this punishment last
I made a wrong turn as soon as I left that woum
Not all the choices where mine
It's the cards that u dealt
I can't seem to get a grip
Or ever work anything out
That's how I feel that's always what I felt
Got the short end of the stick
Right when I was born in this hell
I have so little questions and I know the answers will dwell
Can u help brighten my days
let me in on some faith
Cause I'm digging a hole with a shot gun to my face
I would like things to get better change for the best
Find some good friends and get out of this mess

I've been beaten and dragged down
Raised with all types of hell
I lost my best friends
I've sat in a cell
I worked on my self
I've started over again
I tried and I tried
And I ******  up over again
I've lived on the streets
I've challenged my strength
I ran away  and I made it threw to today
Problem solving is all that I done
I took my self out of the equation.
And the problem was done
I've thought many time
And I know it would hurt a few
a few months later people will forget
It's not like I'll make history
Life not even worth my breath
As easy as it sounds
I feel that would be one thing I'd regret

Thriving for change
Want a new leaf
Dieing for driffrent
Loosing my mind
Quit everything
But still stuck on one thing
Not fun no fair
It's just upsetting
painful just knowing
And funny it's ironic
My idiotsy  is to much for me now
Annoying I guess
I gave it all up really
Want to start all over
And I am lazier then ever
Battered I'd say I am
Beeten like scrambled
As I laugh and smile
Don't worry  
Its not u that troubled me
U didn't faze me
I knew it would happen like this
No I want to get so high
Till my heart stops
No one can change me but me
I live for the future
If feeling like I do can stop
It wouldn't matter
But I do and it *****
Opened my eyes
From a nap
I'd rather keep them closed forever

Maybe the sun has its darkest days
Shadowed by clouds
Dimming it's raise
Clogging it's passage
Maybe the moon has its light
Bright enough to light up the earth
Glowing in its ways
Radiant halos we call stars
A message to my lover who ever u are
I pray to the lands and speak for the sky's
A chance we meet again I want nothing but good vibes
The elements stand by us as we set fire to the land
And swim towards fresh air
The power we hold in are hands
Is nothing but positive energy
And would only sucssed with one another
I gave u my faith.. with arms wide open
I'm not mention for no one
Except that one the kept me focused

Waisted in a land of misary
Tourmented by my self
Cursed till the death of me
Lonely forever ill be
Singled out from  my pain
Looking in I can't see
Hurting cause its blinding
Lost alone
I find something to love
But they will never love me
I lay in bed for days no one even questions
Not one person would ever know
I drink my self to death
Drag my self to live
Owell is how I take it
Another on bites the dust
My feelings get the best of me
Overwhelming  my self to change
I'm eaten half way in side
My heart seams to fall even more apart
Shattered from this hell
I wake up just to pass back out
Day by day I live my life
Wondering why its so bad
I can't leave alone what I like
I push and push away
My stupidity gets the worst of me
My shame brings me down
I fall apart easily but since birth I worked it out
I can not have no one in my life
Cause when I do I fall in love and drag my self back to hell

Dysfunctional tech9  listen my life

I'm on a plain
I must of past cloud nine
She speaks of life
Like life is just to deal with
what ever your ddealt  
Hidden card a bluff of fearless
In it to win it
kknowing theirs an option to loose
She speaks of life
like an unborn's mood
TTreasures of dirt
As if it was gold
Salted waters
and waves of creation
bbeginning to mold me
Like life is just an illusion
No one can make u feel
no one can let u down no one can pick your self up
Only your wave of creation
The vibes u want are the vibes u make
timeless placement in a selfish state
she shows me life
as if it's was never existing



The angels watch and keep me strong
Apear in my dreams and tell me the wrongs
Show me the paths and sometimes the future
they never gave up and always been truthful
Hand over hand I rest with in good arms held by the tightest
Guardian  arms every day I walk and their hands in my palms

I go to the end of the earth
To see the galaxies reflection
In the waves and calm waters
The ripples begin from a breeze
Still looking downwards  up
From a distance
Like looking half way threw the mirror
The sounds of the clashing white waters Magnifies  
And expands the mind like a hulusanagen
Open from all angles   u can feel each element around u
Free and exact
The night of day
The breath of the sea
The fire of light
And the land we comfortably control like it means nothing
If I can live and breath the site of a beach every night
I'd fully be at peace

Cause I'm all the way up we turn up smoked it all we burnt up we burn what... fires lit flames lit from some home made ****
Two stones each chrome
Both blown
I'm coming home
That's my life and I'm grown

Just waiting to dies slow
The pain is no better then the lies
heart akes with every breath
sadness and the feeling of nothing let
it's binds up and squeezes tight
Putting me out of place in a twilight
blood flow out of my eyes
hurt and heart broke from life
No friends to help out no one's around to see my torment
my life is a disaster  my soul is locked up in an air tight box
No time to breath no feeling of free no relaxation
And no self esteem
Fought for the end but now I'm just waiting
Theirs nothing left but pain and  paytionts  
Waiting to die I'm anxious

In the end a dream can just vanish
Distracted from reality
Woke up and disappear with insanity
Questions are asked but truth lies with morality
Awnsers are told but second guessings  can rattle me
Beneath my skin I'm the only won who battles me
I'm my own worst enemy
and the only best friend to me
Caged in chains with two blades that split grains
Two sides together can take what ever is sent to me
Often alone I'll aways have my company
To comfort me or spoil me
As long as intruders don't form in my life I can live happily  
Pain free

Driven by dreams tormented from desire
A waist  of matter such a waist of time
Only if I can only if I could
I can dream and dream and dream
the reality is I can
My self worth is only half of me
the other half is just a dream
I can never satisfie my self.. nore others.. that's what it seems  
All I hear is lies and lies and lies
U are no friend, no lover and u are no enemy
I do not exist.. and u do not exist to me...
Sick of thinking I can love someone
Tired of feeling schemed
Nothing can change the fact that I am hopeless
And wish everything was just a dream

No friend u where never
life has been good always and forever
I'm to much of a peace of **** to keep u close
But how ever I may help we can pull it in together
I **** on no on I talk no **** I stand my ground
And I own up to it
Friends I had never
Use to know one who cares
I dragged down no hands reach to lift
No shouts no cheers I stood alone my hole life  
I try to let people in but no more my demons are and will be my only friends