Only if I lift  my plate and pass it around
I had no food maybe when it comes back around
I try and lift it up but it always came strait back down
I try and do good but it's just never enough
I'm not bad I do no harm I'm just heartless and always alarmed
I keep my smile but in side you will hear what I say
I have a sad soul 85% depression  never been happy
Had it rough as an adilessont beat down everyday from a passive agretion town down pulled down alway *******
Never owned **** I had it rough as a kid sleeping under the bed so they couldn't find me I was frightened to talk  but always thought y me I close my eyes I see a man with a belt behind me cried most of my tears so young that I just sit here and wait for life's out come I'm not even fighting to live I'm just living too die

I love
I love life
I love people  
I love the site
I love the feeling
I love to love
I love u
As much I love to drink
I got a job I work hard
But some times
I know love keeps me alive

Starvation of the poor
Hunger and a hole lot more

Locked sadness in a room
We sleep to a fan
And dream about doom
Past few times I open my eyes
My mother knocks to see if I'm alive
Haven't eaten for days
I left my job
Just want to be left alone
Turned my ringer off
So I don't hear my phone
I closed the shutter can't see if it's night or day
I haven't smoked or go out to play
My stomach  is smaller my heart is shot
As I sit in my bed to lay here and rot
I gave up on life cause every one gave up on me
I want to start over but I'm way to lonely
I don't want to meet I don't want to see
I just want a good job where no one bothers me
I live in silence I just left all that I know
I don't want to leave my bed or step out of this home
Weak I need to eat probably an apple would do
But I don't want to see life and what it can do
I sheltered my self I just look at the fan
I close my eyes to dream about eating again
Brain turned in to a mush my hole body is numb
I'm tired of life
Lusifer here I come

It's pretty sad when u only attract pain sorrow or addictions
One word about it it bring confertational confliction
Their is nothing wrong with u I know that's why u chose me as a friend... deep down inside I can read people's mind souls and actions
I was taught to see deep I lead only the week to a free mind and a chance to seek... I allow your soul to freely express tears run threw pain hurt or worry... I can redeem your presents Ora and blurry.. me my self I have more issues then u my heart pounds harshly when I close my eyes it's like a wiplash in a threshold going threw a black hole but it only happens when I'm sitting alone I panic for no good reason and inside out of nowhere I feel like I'm bleeding  I tear up constintly and shiver like I'm freezing .. with a foot on my chest or like Jesus is kneeling my hole life was just a painful unpealing stripped  down to my soul for the beginnings unwheeling

My tears drop
Creating rain
Fogy days translucent  pain
Can't see
Two feet dropping buckets
Flooded their ain't no drain
I swim for blocks
I loose breath
I sink with no breaking sweat
My bubbles are all my regrets
I hold it in
Till my last hiccup
I spit up
Air is not there
Still lost event on land nothing to compare  
Six feet under no one knows
Stuck in a coffin under water know one knows
I try to break out
But like quick sand
The more u stress the more u sink
Stressed out
claustrophobic The more I blink
The more I breath
I worry about other who don't give a **** about me
I give them my air event tho I can't breath
And all I get is a ******* it means **** to me
I split the seas
I'm still a float locked in air tight
I can loose anything but my life
Or my money I'm a rare type

I would sit and relax but
I have to watch time fly
Are mess is cleanable
Hurt but still desire
Lust is not love
But having love does not truly mean your in love
I can't help but see
And it's all not good
In time we grow old
And knowing this
And knowing that
Are two different things
I truly be leave I will go older alone
I can not fall in love anymore
It's just disappointing
And I refuse to go threw it
My mess can be cleaned
And I will try and help
Anyone who needs it
The last girl I really wanted a good relationship with
Took the last peace of my heart
And I would definitely stick by her side
But she is done with me so I am done with dating
Only in time only in time
I will not look I will not search
I try my best when it can to relationships  
But now to me it just don't matter anymore
I live my life a single soul

Deep down we yell
Screaming for a love
Some will never get
Dragged around are feet we walk
Heads are below are chest
Yerning for company
Swollowing are throats
Sarounded by the world and yet
We get more attention. From a plant
No one is around me but many are near
Hurting in so many ways
It shows out load and clear
People ask but don't listen
Turned away cause its not what they wanted to hear
Fake smiles and silky talk
But inside we don't get it are selves
Its just the way it is
Some people just have it
Sadness is in their blood

A slave to love a dark time for my heart to feel  a sucker  that punishes him self from a deep pain of feeling ice cold this world is ice cold I must not become..  a four letter word that rips me to peace every chance it takes  cursed since birth is a feeling I will never learn to deal with  torments me and brings me down any chance they can I will only breath steam in this ice cold world cause me heart is to big to give up on love

Maybe the sun has its darkest days
Shadowed by clouds
Dimming it's raise
Clogging it's passage
Maybe the moon has its light
Bright enough to light up the earth
Glowing in its ways
Radiant halos we call stars
A message to my lover who ever u are
I pray to the lands and speak for the sky's
A chance we meet again I want nothing but good vibes
The elements stand by us as we set fire to the land
And swim towards fresh air
The power we hold in are hands
Is nothing but positive energy
And would only sucssed with one another
I gave u my faith.. with arms wide open
I'm not meant for no one
Except that one the kept me focused
We met once b4 we had a romance from the start
We all have are flaws... but still hope for the best
I hope it works out and for fill  your success  
Cause I will stand by your side flesh of my flesh

It's only a negative to me when feelings arupt
Love is fake and emotions cerupt
It takes control and it's hard to ajust  
My hole life I'd just take it and rush
Nothing ever last all it does is mess with my head
No one is real I'd just rather be dead
I stay alone even with a crowd
Only people play with my head and tare my heart down
Just a feeling of me that no one likes it's
When I accompany I'm just left alone it's not the first Time.
I tear my way home
.setting a ground no one is aloud
I'm meant to be alone and alone I am now

Who cares no one.,,,,i am worth millions ... and rather die b4 I touch any penny alone no one will give me enough love to spend a dime  it ***** cause I suffer for the fact no love will take me for being broke ... I'd rather stay broke  ******* American girls ..... it's a great big world

Flowing full of energy a constant rush of fresh air bleeding out bursts of positivity a change I never thought I would see created by raise from the sun on a clear unclouded day

Boiling waters bubbling
While I preheat my oven
Broil the bake
Add a little salt I shake
Flavor my life with every mistake
Throw in some sweat for a Lil taste
Work ******* preparing my self
Not one bit is a waist...

Agony and misory
Suits me emotional and phisicly
Let out the box
I'm a beast
I tare **** up
When I wake up
And B4 I go to sleep
24/7 I scream with out a peep
I'll bring u to hell and it's all my treat
Wolf on the pral looking for the sheltered sheep
Designed to Rome the streets  but I trust no one
So no one rides with me
No witnesses no one can speak
Till death do me part
No one will hear a peep
I live my life solo
Drained from the sun
That's y I live at night
With a full moon I have my fun

Got ****** in past life
Tied burned and buried
Crusified  starved and whipped
Theirs never a rush but life wants to hurry
The fermented fruits where used
To cherish. Meant to be sipped
Abused or used lessons in relish
I knew a man we saw saw from far
We differ but lived in the same constalations
Saw the same things and been threw the same preparations
I was forced to play he enjoyed the  partisapation
I grew sick of the corrupt had a change of heart and just wanted to love
This man has for filled his dreams of corruption altered his ego
And enjoys the killing
For filling my dues me and my best friend became old news
Enemies we say but really just fools
Change of heart to me was created
But still had to **** the negative
That's all inside me
My name is Gemini constentlly battling
My inner wars all though we don't get along my positive is strong
As long as I stand and don't follow my addictions
Consiquences are harsh and my negative is imprisoned  
If I was to set him free their will be a dramatic change in my eyes

In this I am
Life is 24\7
Waisted time is just waisted time
The wind only blew in to one chime
But they all made noise
While these ball rock
Tick tock tick tock
Holes in my sole
Shredded pants with some ripped socks
Hand me downs
From my uncle B4 my pops
Slept in a hallway on the floor between two doors
Rotten language  slurring screams
Broken plates and my squashed dreams
Seen them beat I'd sneak strait under the bed
Never slept the t.v so loud I still have the ringing in my head
So tired I'd walk to school 3rd grade on all alone
I'd sleep in class it was better then home
God I loved iss  been their  almost everyday I went
Peace and quiet got some rest
My brother was made he would take it all out on me
Never had a room I had a top bunk and half a closet
Nothing was mine if it was it would be broken or gone
**** it what's yours is mine if that's how it is I'd be happy with less then a dime .. well it didn't work courts at 12 by the time I was 13 group home time all we did was play spades and fight being the only  1 out of 2 white boys we where out numbered got jumped every other day stomped on my face I learned how to fight and respect they gave
Harassed once I got home every day cops stop no reason and search
How's your brother... even in front of my mother humiliation at worst
Every  day they would stop 6% of the time I couldn't even stash the **** I I was on probation B4 I could even read that's just a little in the beginning of my time labeled the bad kid no one was aloud near me

Existence
Here nor their
A Pease  of matter
That really don't matter
I exist but don't
I feel invisible
Like the air that surrounds me
But stagnant
Only if one can see
I'd give my all to them
Undermined
I'd probably get struck by lightning
B4 someone will stay
I'm just a good time for just a night
my undivided atention is unwated
my love is never needed
My pain grows with every one I meet

Not everyday can you wake up gets ****** over and be nice about it..
Apologies mean nothing I can live with out it
But to do the same thing over and over I ain't really about it
My stubborn is careless but I hurt no one but me
I go behind no one's back lie or just leave

A poor man's soul once told me u can live blind and still be able to see
Or u can have site and live life blindly

I care way to much till I begin to get hurt I still don't give up till I feel I'm lessening my worth

I've been left for dead more then a dozen even by family often by people I can call cousin  or by people u think u can love.. I must of been buggin

Never really had no one always chose to be alone theirs so much drama in the word and to me it's just better for it to be unknown

It's not a burden
For your hate
If u don't like me
It might not be a mastake
I don't need u never did
What u say.. I don't have to take
I leave all tthose behind
Contenplating who's back I stand behind
I've been on my own
For the most part
been hated my hole life
Your words won't Cause a spark
I don't want u in my life
Just positive marks
Their is no time to hate
***** what u think
I have more pain then your hate
And I know my place
I don't hate I don't talk
I have more things on my plate
Then to sit and judge
The best advice to tell u
Is just to forget who I was

Seems to me that people call u a friend
Lie to your face and expect the rules to bend
Talk be hind your back and expect u to contend
Seems to me that u call people your friends
When the ******* u seek away and pretend
Their are more snakes then u think even
More snakes then the devil can send
You can be loyal as **** but beat down at the end
So many rips and tairs not able to mend

Two faced talkers smiles and eyes
A wolf in sheep's clothing what a beautiful disguise
I wait and watch carefully cause everyone just wants to ****
U unleashed a beast that can make wolves tails tuck
I've been nothing but loyal but it's never enough
People are different  but the same with some stuff
Greed and temptation will show change and set in stone
Your only out for your self and now I will always know
Narsisest complete with anger and disparate despair
I can care less for friends I'll still pay it forward I have no need for snakes  liars and talkers
...

Sadness... I've lost way b4 I knew what loved ones truly are... I have lost with the card I was handed ..
Once you throw every thing away  you will

Be dealt the next hand

If I fly does it mean I have super strength  
If I win it doesn't mean I'll ever loose again
If I cave in
It don't mean I'll be stuck with in
under neath this rrebble
If I live
as free as I can be
it don't mean I'll liv forever now
life is timeless we can only get it ttogether now
It's endless so let's get it together now
if I scream
I sing out from my heart With in
if I speak I speak out from my heart right now
If I breath
I won't ever try to hold it in again
even from under water the bubbles rise
in time it takes seconds to feel alive
So let's get it together now
just get it together now
we can live for ever now
as long as we can breath this second
we are living fforever now
Let's just get together now and get it together now

Mistakes are made.. everyone screws up. I forgive.. I learn to let go.. I learn to be alone.. but I've learned never to put down.. even if I walk away I still hold them in my heart.. no one is forgotten

Secure by being insecure I push I pull I tug away I seen the lies in their eyes and smiling ways I'm sick I'm done I push it away

I'm on a plain
I must of past cloud nine
She speaks of life
Like life is just to deal with
what ever your ddealt  
Hidden card a bluff of fearless
In it to win it
kknowing theirs an option to loose
She speaks of life
like an unborn's mood
TTreasures of dirt
As if it was gold
Salted waters
and waves of creation
bbeginning to mold me
Like life is just an illusion
No one can make u feel
no one can let u down no one can pick your self up
Only your wave of creation
The vibes u want are the vibes u make
timeless placement in a selfish state
she shows me life
as if it's was never existing



The angels watch and keep me strong
Apear in my dreams and tell me the wrongs
Show me the paths and sometimes the future
they never gave up and always been truthful
Hand over hand I rest with in good arms held by the tightest
Guardian  arms every day I walk and their hands in my palms

i build a wall of stone
directly around my soul
with just enough space to feel free
i let people in threw their mind

I'm done their is no creation bigger then God and my gods can even explain me

I already mastered a woman's heart she's gone
I cry every night I make a river from a pond
I finish bottles with dark sky's and bright stars
Me and a full moon have this bond
Damage done my eyes dont dry when i hear the words from young
It's crazy how things haunt u and it's all over with nothing said or done
I like to enjoy my moments and I'm so much better alone
Cause I can't explain my self nor do I like to go home
I can't sleep till I'm good and ready
my smiles a charmer but my eyes give me a way
So just have a drink with me cause anyone can be gone in a day

Every day I day dream about six feet
Even when I'm sober or even when I sleep
Everyday I wonder I think of my death
I know it's gunna be painful
Maybe not as bad as my stress
Everyday I open my eyes I rise and shine
I get out of my bed and just want to crawl right back in time
It's like life is a test knowing I want to die
Just to see how long I'll last b4 I take what's mine
Everyday I daydream about being 6ft
Everyday I wonder what it would be like with out me
Got nothing going just use to walking these streets
As good as I'm doing I close my eyes and I feel dead beat
No calls no shows not one text I've been alone for months
I give it one day no can remember only to forget
Everyday I rise and shine fake smile waist of time...
The only thing really going for me is that just one day I'm gunna take what's mine

Dysfunctional tech9  listen my life

No friend u where never
life has been good always and forever
I'm to much of a peace of **** to keep u close
But how ever I may help we can pull it in together
I **** on no on I talk no **** I stand my ground
And I own up to it
Friends I had never
Use to know one who cares
I dragged down no hands reach to lift
No shouts no cheers I stood alone my hole life  
I try to let people in but no more my demons are and will be my only friends

Good love is had to find... I'm unlucky.... I'm unlucky

No choice no mind no option no opinion money money money money learn to live l8k3 a prince **** it I run my kingdom

I know this girl that laughs the same way she cries sounds like she gasps for her last breath be for she dies she keeps the struggle in her bubble dead in the center of her eyes she fakes lies till u look deep down black a to a pupil of her life she hides it good but every day she wants to die  I'd rather live she screamed out the choice is mine  this is my cancer and I own it with pride

You lie you lie u lie
U had me even lie for u
U lie to them
U will lie to me too
U lie u lie u lie
Your words make no sense
U speak gibberish
U mix up the truth
And blow your own spot
I believe  nothing u say
Except for that it's a lie
This is not the first time u looked me in the eyes
U lie u lie u lie

Opened my mind for creativity
Outlooks and chances
Let in by light from the darkness of closed doors
In to the eyes let out by freedom of souls
An Ora surrounds  their features and halo
Captured  from sight even when it's not seen
A feeling of gut and passion of dreams
Intertwined  with mind body and soul
Whispers of charm let's out with a glow
As the sun sets the world will behold
Greater then good better then bad
Treasure with a smile transitions my sad

Twisted lies and battered tears
Whisk togeather to show are saddened pears
We have a toast to are primal fears
I lived threw death I cheated life
I slit my wrists with a semi dull knife
Hears to life we hold up are beers
Grab the wheel it's your own life you steer

Tattoos hide the scares
Only my eyes conceal

God will guide u
Love and direct u
From this hell of survival
Clear u from your rival
Choices are made
Up to u which one u decide to
Love is why I'm alive
U have decisions
Your destination is awaiting your arrival
Your choice .. how ever u want to make it
You travel your own paths
Emotions may clash
Success  may not last
For better or worse
Things happen for reason
Go with it learn from the past
It takes time to heal after a crash
Just don't give up
Change up make life
Take out the trash

I can only laugh after u made me cry so much
I do not face away or turn my back
I simply stand their and watch u back away
I am harnessed to a limb down a river that falls
Beneath is rocks crashing waters
I do not want to let go because your life is in my hands
But I can not take this.. un able to swim for u
I will only drowned eachother the brittle rope im straped too
Can no longer hold two
I untie me and tie u i can no longer hold use togeather
I let go .. i drink no longer do i have air to breath
I plunge down rapped streams down a fall that drifts me away peace by peace my feelings curupt and my heart is no longer their i have feelings of distruction  as i hit the bottom of the fall

It's JUST a feeling
Dwelling in my soul
CChewing me up and spitting me out
Used and then let go
Smile in my face
Rip my hheart out from the back
Misunderstood and always attacked
No one really likes me
Just friends cause I'm easily used
No one sticks around left for dead
Abandoning  me with nothing said
I guess they where not amused

Rage in side... anger shows
*******.. about to throw some bows
When u speak... I will scream
I'm ****** the ******* at this human being
Selfish poor me money money money
Help me help me help me... **** that one or the other
J Put Food On THE Plate I Help When I Can I Give U Cash
And u cry full grown man... u make no sense
I heard u talking ****.. I don't need that in my life
On u I forfeit.

Never did I not once ever  learn my lesson

Y is it I always find the wrong crowed
I can help them but then I tell them
And my negative speaks to me real load
Can't change the fact
But I walk away and when I walk away I
Stand real proud
Knowing I told u so I saw it happen
I gave u a for warning
I told u when it rains it's gunna rain and be all for it
But u don't listen and I'm just a bad guy
and it just started pouring

One day I wish I
Two day I
Just one day I
Know I'll meet my make
Today no
Tomorrow  no
But what's known I'll meet them some day
Not next month maybe not next year I wish and pray
My death it to meet my maker I tried to try is to fail I gave up
But life never gave up on me
I really give up and watch all around me
I follow death and wish I can meet my maker
They gave me dreams promises of snakes stabbing me
Bighting me snapping twisting jumping threw these streams
I'm extreme I'm just willing to not breath
And now my life is just torturing me I'd die if
I really wanted to I tried but my death is giving me graditude
Really I wish for a friend but I trust nothing bit death in the end I tried this is not the end I really pray life stops playing tricks on me cause in my dreams I rot I die in hell but I live on earth wishing to meet my maker

Maybe the sun has its darkest days
Shadowed by clouds
Dimming it's raise
Clogging it's passage
Maybe the moon has its light
Bright enough to light up the earth
Glowing in its ways
Radiant halos we call stars
A message to my lover who ever u are
I pray to the lands and speak for the sky's
A chance we meet again I want nothing but good vibes
The elements stand by us as we set fire to the land
And swim towards fresh air
The power we hold in are hands
Is nothing but positive energy
And would only sucssed with one another
I gave u my faith.. with arms wide open
I'm not mention for no one
Except that one the kept me focused

Only in the mind
My addiction is company
Not mysrable
Happy alone
Happier with company
But happy alone
Tired of being only for my self
I'd save just to waist I'd cherish every moment it takes
Useless only in my head
If asked treasure is worth more then gold

I read eyes
I read lips
I see lies  disposed of your ****
I call out I throw in faces
I read eyes I read your lips
I can tell from your eyes when they blink
I read lips your not saying what u think
u speak to fast I catch on easy like a shrimp
You can peel and eat u can think twice
I can tell by your face your not saying what u think
Its on your mind
Speak up or sink
I can read minds
Forecast the future I'd rather be left be hind
Then lied too and made useless
I don't leave I just get away
I was told in the morning I'm not here I'm far away
Soaked in my seat gravity pulls me under
Sleep walker when I wake up I follow money or hunger
I satisfy my self and always satisfied  another
But paranoia  if u wanna call it that
Got me being honest and explaining u better then u
Too u and know one likes that...

I've been threw withdraws of life
Stabbed in the back I gave the devil a knife
He's the only one who put it down
Follow me smile with frowns look in these eye
Keep the depression  hungry if they find their friends u will always be alone diseption is told no one need u and it's like that till u grow old
Every care u give is twice that don't matter they will follow some one else and throw it in your face I have nothing to give with every second I waist as long as I breath as long as I stop hopeless and heartless till that noose tightly  tightens and flows my bloods stop explode my heart and inpails my brain every day I look in my closet  just drives me insane I wish I can love I can but no one can love me only my momma will be their for me... I watched  her cry when I died cam back to life and disagree for doing it twice but she nore no one else has any idea how to live with ones self

Cause I'm all the way up we turn up smoked it all we burnt up we burn what... fires lit flames lit from some home made ****
Two stones each chrome
Both blown
I'm coming home
That's my life and I'm grown

The stars disappear the moon follows and the sun comes out... as long as u pay attention to the lights in the darkness u will find your way to a bright day...