I would sit and relax but
I have to watch time fly
Are mess is cleanable
Hurt but still desire
Lust is not love
But having love does not truly mean your in love
I can't help but see
And it's all not good
In time we grow old
And knowing this
And knowing that
Are two different things
I truly be leave I will go older alone
I can not fall in love anymore
It's just disappointing
And I refuse to go threw it
My mess can be cleaned
And I will try and help
Anyone who needs it
The last girl I really wanted a good relationship with
Took the last peace of my heart
And I would definitely stick by her side
But she is done with me so I am done with dating
Only in time only in time
I will not look I will not search
I try my best when it can to relationships  
But now to me it just don't matter anymore
I live my life a single soul

Waisted in a land of misary
Tourmented by my self
Cursed till the death of me
Lonely forever ill be
Singled out from  my pain
Looking in I can't see
Hurting cause its blinding
Lost alone
I find something to love
But they will never love me
I lay in bed for days no one even questions
Not one person would ever know
I drink my self to death
Drag my self to live
Owell is how I take it
Another on bites the dust
My feelings get the best of me
Overwhelming  my self to change
I'm eaten half way in side
My heart seams to fall even more apart
Shattered from this hell
I wake up just to pass back out
Day by day I live my life
Wondering why its so bad
I can't leave alone what I like
I push and push away
My stupidity gets the worst of me
My shame brings me down
I fall apart easily but since birth I worked it out
I can not have no one in my life
Cause when I do I fall in love and drag my self back to hell

Got ****** in past life
Tied burned and buried
Crusified  starved and whipped
Theirs never a rush but life wants to hurry
The fermented fruits where used
To cherish. Meant to be sipped
Abused or used lessons in relish
I knew a man we saw saw from far
We differ but lived in the same constalations
Saw the same things and been threw the same preparations
I was forced to play he enjoyed the  partisapation
I grew sick of the corrupt had a change of heart and just wanted to love
This man has for filled his dreams of corruption altered his ego
And enjoys the killing
For filling my dues me and my best friend became old news
Enemies we say but really just fools
Change of heart to me was created
But still had to **** the negative
That's all inside me
My name is Gemini constentlly battling
My inner wars all though we don't get along my positive is strong
As long as I stand and don't follow my addictions
Consiquences are harsh and my negative is imprisoned  
If I was to set him free their will be a dramatic change in my eyes

So sad

Still in this till the end
I sheltered my soul can covered my heart
I agreed to stick to my self
And just stay here alone

Who cares no one.,,,,i am worth millions ... and rather die b4 I touch any penny alone no one will give me enough love to spend a dime  it ***** cause I suffer for the fact no love will take me for being broke ... I'd rather stay broke  ******* American girls ..... it's a great big world

I love
I love life
I love people  
I love the site
I love the feeling
I love to love
I love u
As much I love to drink
I got a job I work hard
But some times
I know love keeps me alive

Only if I lift  my plate and pass it around
I had no food maybe when it comes back around
I try and lift it up but it always came strait back down
I try and do good but it's just never enough
I'm not bad I do no harm I'm just heartless and always alarmed
I keep my smile but in side you will hear what I say
I have a sad soul 85% depression  never been happy
Had it rough as an adilessont beat down everyday from a passive agretion town down pulled down alway *******
Never owned **** I had it rough as a kid sleeping under the bed so they couldn't find me I was frightened to talk  but always thought y me I close my eyes I see a man with a belt behind me cried most of my tears so young that I just sit here and wait for life's out come I'm not even fighting to live I'm just living too die

Not found in the eyes
We suddenly look deeper
Some people create lies
But truth speaks for its self
Words contudict
And gestures explain
A Lil lie can be seen
Deep in the eyes of its teller
We can only tell by paying attention

My reality is exactly what it seems  
Cold hot sweats creating steam
Ride alone die alone I manage my own team
A dream of dreams a Dreamer dreams
The sun doesn't shine when I close my eyes
Its never daylight only darkened  sky's
Moon light shimmers over gloomy lakes
Hidden by the clouds stars glitter the sky's
threw the galaxy I test my limits
With open minds I have no addictions when I rest
I have plenty sleep its all I like to be alone with an open mind
I'm use to the pain I feel normal alone
Unless I let some one in... but that won't happen anymore
**** the world I I can't have no more friends
I loose them all cause forever ends

I'm like a star
Millions of light years away
from any thing
No one is around
I shine by my self
Things float along
But to hot to come close to
I travel alone
I conversate with my self
No one shows up when I need help
No one not no one
it seem like
I only know how to make people leave
Walk away walk away
Know matter how good I do
No one stay no one stays

I'm on a plain
I must of past cloud nine
She speaks of life
Like life is just to deal with
what ever your ddealt  
Hidden card a bluff of fearless
In it to win it
kknowing theirs an option to loose
She speaks of life
like an unborn's mood
TTreasures of dirt
As if it was gold
Salted waters
and waves of creation
bbeginning to mold me
Like life is just an illusion
No one can make u feel
no one can let u down no one can pick your self up
Only your wave of creation
The vibes u want are the vibes u make
timeless placement in a selfish state
she shows me life
as if it's was never existing



The angels watch and keep me strong
Apear in my dreams and tell me the wrongs
Show me the paths and sometimes the future
they never gave up and always been truthful
Hand over hand I rest with in good arms held by the tightest
Guardian  arms every day I walk and their hands in my palms

If I could speak to god
I wouldn't beg or demand
I simply come forth
or sstay ware I stand
I am not mad about what happened in the past
it seems like u put me on a road u can easily  crash
Forced on to a bad road
It's like u just threw me in trash
My decisions  my own when the choices where made
Not to smart got expelled in first grade
couldn't read till the middle of middle
I got tested every day by being belittled
It's not a thing about the past what's done is done
BuT ware am I going who have I become
Why am I in hell how long will this punishment last
I made a wrong turn as soon as I left that woum
Not all the choices where mine
It's the cards that u dealt
I can't seem to get a grip
Or ever work anything out
That's how I feel that's always what I felt
Got the short end of the stick
Right when I was born in this hell
I have so little questions and I know the answers will dwell
Can u help brighten my days
let me in on some faith
Cause I'm digging a hole with a shot gun to my face
I would like things to get better change for the best
Find some good friends and get out of this mess

Deep in the dark sky's with dim clouds with no moon
Acouple of stars looks like a tulip in full bloom shadowed by a light gray and off white..
A cool breeze wisps with the sounds of waves crashing
I relax it's a good night thanks for asking..
I don't ask for much I just like to chill calm as can be just like the feeling under the moon while I'm at the beach
I don't ask for much I just like to chill enjoy my ends with sound site and feel

We live to feel
In depth and in contact
We all fall apart from with in
Some are stronger then others
We all loose trust for one and some for all
Its hard to trust everyone of them when the few
Have placed u in the outer element
Destroyed  my kingdom of trust
People leave people go
Abandoned  I always felt
Pushed away told to be forgotten
I have always been left I have always been hung out to dry
Zig zagging  down my broken dreams
Thumping threw my broken heart I will always be alone
I can't stand being left anymore I will do the leaving
B4 it even starts
My mind thinks and thinks and thinks
And knowing I will only be hurt tells me to just go
Do not stay no one loves u and know one has
Just go I say to my self just go
Cause every one has took u for your worth every time
I gave them my heart and the leave with my beat
I will never want to go threw this again
Cause it's always happened
Scared to let people in for some reason
I get the... your just a good guy... good enough to **** over and leave
I get that now. I have no trust I have no plans.. I want Nothing
As I stand here alone I am just me my self and I
I push away and some come back fight me for my love and just throw it away... now they will always fight cause for the time I decide to leave I have no heart cause a couple of them took all the beats away

Lost ones still communicate
Their souls are still around
Your love for them hurts u
Flashbacks from a sound

Lost ones still communicate
Threw dreams or a bbreeze
Goosebumps out of nowhere
From the sounds of the trees

I tell u they haunt  me
My loved ones are with me
When I close my eyes
or when I don't like what I see

I tell u they tell me
watch me threw the sky's
or their right next me
looking dead in my eyes

I still ask questions
They still second guess
I never follow my gut
I follow the gghost on my left

My best friends tthey haunt me
My ex girl is still here
some times I feel her squeeze me
a Lil will my eyes tear

I love feeling them around me
they help me see somewhat clear
I know I'm never alone
Cause they show me their souls are still near

Idk maybe I'm not cut out
UN wanted

In the end are looses are really a win
A win that can't be beaten..
A lesson can be brought up as a downer
No depression  is just insane
Everyone wins everyone hurts everyone lives with them selves
Chances are always given u have to fall to stand back up taller
You have to loose to fight harder to win
Don't just take anything as a loss cause everything that goes on in your life prepares u for your next step forward

Peace by peace
Every person I meet
takes all bit of my heart

Day by day
every time that I pray
He throws m3 in the middle of a game

Time after time
I fall for a trick
And my flaws act up
And forever with me they stick

ALL my life I've looked for a friend
But in the end I just get treated ****

Every one 8s a couple
And it's just me my self and I
Waiting for tthat hand to hold
So bold I live life alone
No one to please no one stays
everyone leaves with a peace that lays
In side my soul with in my heart
I stand alone and always apart
I wish for something
I can never have
It's always a ttaste the makes me sad

Released in the colors of gray
Hidden beneath besides or above
Always their in the light
But the Darkness be hind it's matter
Some times look bigger then it should be
Or smaller then what it really is
It would walk with u at all times
and stay with u till the end
Some times I feel my shadow is my only friend
It never speaks back and does exactly  what I do
The only one ever around when I need someone
The only thing in my life that hasn't hurt my feelings
Or stabbed me in my back
My shadow is my best friend

Starvation of the poor
Hunger and a hole lot more

Existence
Here nor their
A Pease  of matter
That really don't matter
I exist but don't
I feel invisible
Like the air that surrounds me
But stagnant
Only if one can see
I'd give my all to them
Undermined
I'd probably get struck by lightning
B4 someone will stay
I'm just a good time for just a night
my undivided atention is unwated
my love is never needed
My pain grows with every one I meet

I know this girl that laughs the same way she cries sounds like she gasps for her last breath be for she dies she keeps the struggle in her bubble dead in the center of her eyes she fakes lies till u look deep down black a to a pupil of her life she hides it good but every day she wants to die  I'd rather live she screamed out the choice is mine  this is my cancer and I own it with pride

Blends in my soul
Block blood that fills my veins
Enchanted from the moons mistakes
Breaths have been taken
Moods mistaken
Darkness in the light we shall
Walk on clouds broken down .
In this llightweight heave
When the darkness bleeds
my life must start right now
Being hopeless brings me hope
Hate and strain is blemished with coats of pain

Things are the way they are
Come the way they come
And go the way they go
I can only change my life
And choose which way it flows
I'll never know the ending
Till its the time for it to end
Never realized how much thing can really disappoint
And only feel it's my fault
I'm gunna start putting my thoughts in a volt
I enable even when I don't even try
It's like people look at me and get a contact high
I just want to  liv and have a good time
I can just sit and talk or we can believe we can fly
All the things I try to do.. its like life says never minds
Just starting to feel what I want and like I will always be denied
I'd like some good in my life
And about to work hard to try

Let it be
I know it's me
I hear it often
Really sour but spoken sweet
my hearts been broken  
And now it's rotting
Cold cells run threw my warm blood
I have issues yes because
U lost mmy trust
I wish u didn't do that cause u lost my love
Feeling used beat down and hurt
It's worse then hearing
that your dieing  since your birth
it's really messed up how my life works

Dreams of falling in a pit of snakes
Unable to move unable to get a grip
Hundreds of color shapes and sizes
Slithering jumping and hissing
In a hole six feet beneath
Twisting and curling a twig I can't reach still lying
Unable to stand
One reacts strait for my face
Quick enough I smacked it a way
Reaching and reaching I gradually  get a hold of
The branch I slowly tug
Poisines fangs i see the sight of their teeth
Slithering and squirming
No of them have tried to attack
Slowly I rise not one of them react
Heart is racing I'm shaking
No way to defend and it's my only way out
If this branch don't hold
I'll be stuck untold
With these cold blooded creatures
Who have no heart
If I fall back in they will be ready to tare me apart
I usually like to see the end of my dream
But I woke my self up
And didn't want to see
But I know what it's about
And I'm half way in to deep
Granted it's the way it started
I live for my dreams they've  helped me a lot
But some of these dreams had me feel like I was put on the spot
As long as I understand I know what that branch is
And who the snakes are not

Sleep walking my life
Their but not truly
I like to find some one who doesn't want to loose me
but we just hold on loosely  
I'd like to be smothered held on too and covered
I'd like to have everything I've never had
Kept in line with smiles and cries
some day I could say I've never been so glad
Mend my heart no rubble dert or dark
Just a love with fireworks and sparks
Some one to mend my heart

I've been beaten and dragged down
Raised with all types of hell
I lost my best friends
I've sat in a cell
I worked on my self
I've started over again
I tried and I tried
And I ******  up over again
I've lived on the streets
I've challenged my strength
I ran away  and I made it threw to today
Problem solving is all that I done
I took my self out of the equation.
And the problem was done
I've thought many time
And I know it would hurt a few
a few months later people will forget
It's not like I'll make history
Life not even worth my breath
As easy as it sounds
I feel that would be one thing I'd regret

Let it be
I know it's me
I hear it often
Really sour but spoken sweet
my hearts been broken  
And now it's rotting
Cold cells run threw my warm blood
I have issues yes because
U lost mmy trust
I wish u didn't do that cause u lost my love
Feeling used beat down and hurt
It's worse then hearing
that your dieing  since your birth
it's really messed up how my life works

Driven by dreams tormented from desire
A waist  of matter such a waist of time
Only if I can only if I could
I can dream and dream and dream
the reality is I can
My self worth is only half of me
the other half is just a dream
I can never satisfie my self.. nore others.. that's what it seems  
All I hear is lies and lies and lies
U are no friend, no lover and u are no enemy
I do not exist.. and u do not exist to me...
Sick of thinking I can love someone
Tired of feeling schemed
Nothing can change the fact that I am hopeless
And wish everything was just a dream

I really do miss my friend
I really hope they get better
Who knows Mable they won't talk to me
But I wish the best and would like to see them forever
I made a promise to sit and wait
I stay by my phone waiting for a phone call I
It may.never happen I love this  woman and wish we
could talk forever

No choice no mind no option no opinion money money money money learn to live l8k3 a prince **** it I run my kingdom

In the end a dream can just vanish
Distracted from reality
Woke up and disappear with insanity
Questions are asked but truth lies with morality
Awnsers are told but second guessings  can rattle me
Beneath my skin I'm the only won who battles me
I'm my own worst enemy
and the only best friend to me
Caged in chains with two blades that split grains
Two sides together can take what ever is sent to me
Often alone I'll aways have my company
To comfort me or spoil me
As long as intruders don't form in my life I can live happily  
Pain free

I'm done their is no creation bigger then God and my gods can even explain me

Never did I not once ever  learn my lesson

Seems to me that people call u a friend
Lie to your face and expect the rules to bend
Talk be hind your back and expect u to contend
Seems to me that u call people your friends
When the ******* u seek away and pretend
Their are more snakes then u think even
More snakes then the devil can send
You can be loyal as **** but beat down at the end
So many rips and tairs not able to mend

Two faced talkers smiles and eyes
A wolf in sheep's clothing what a beautiful disguise
I wait and watch carefully cause everyone just wants to ****
U unleashed a beast that can make wolves tails tuck
I've been nothing but loyal but it's never enough
People are different  but the same with some stuff
Greed and temptation will show change and set in stone
Your only out for your self and now I will always know
Narsisest complete with anger and disparate despair
I can care less for friends I'll still pay it forward I have no need for snakes  liars and talkers
...

In to the night we shine
Glimmers of light sparkle
And shimmer away
Desolved from the sun
The world spins us away
As bright as can be
We wish upon are stars
In dreams of the day
Are future are told
We go where we want
With fortunes untold
Are lives are given to stop

Secure by being insecure I push I pull I tug away I seen the lies in their eyes and smiling ways I'm sick I'm done I push it away

Dysfunctional tech9  listen my life

Dedly salt and pepper  corn
Ring drawn out with roses thorns
Splinters an paper cuts
Can even take off the Devils horns

Avacdo and kale are super foods
Even the most unlikely can be super rude
I don't take offense or give up on them
Even super hero's can be in ****** moods

Cages and chain link fences
cant maintain any of the five senses
Thoughts can be faster the warp speed
Everyday a person can have more need
It's senseless to make progress going backward
I processed  the capability  to proceeds
Even one addiction  can turn in to more then three

Maybe the sun has its darkest days
Shadowed by clouds
Dimming it's raise
Clogging it's passage
Maybe the moon has its light
Bright enough to light up the earth
Glowing in its ways
Radiant halos we call stars
A message to my lover who ever u are
I pray to the lands and speak for the sky's
A chance we meet again I want nothing but good vibes
The elements stand by us as we set fire to the land
And swim towards fresh air
The power we hold in are hands
Is nothing but positive energy
And would only sucssed with one another
I gave u my faith.. with arms wide open
I'm not mention for no one
Except that one the kept me focused

She always like to leave me
She always likes to leave me
With a shadow of a doubt

Only in the mind
My addiction is company
Not mysrable
Happy alone
Happier with company
But happy alone
Tired of being only for my self
I'd save just to waist I'd cherish every moment it takes
Useless only in my head
If asked treasure is worth more then gold

Is it wrong to not trust you
Do me wrong and still love u
Want to gain it back at the same time
Knowing it's just not gunna happen
emotionally steaming trying to work it out
High and dry u left me
Hoping u understand my anger
And y I always bring it up
in my mind I had enough
But my heart is more like don't be a stranger
Can't really seem to get a grip
Feel lied and cheated on some foolish ****
I keep putting my self in danger
Just cause of my loneliness

No friend u where never
life has been good always and forever
I'm to much of a peace of **** to keep u close
But how ever I may help we can pull it in together
I **** on no on I talk no **** I stand my ground
And I own up to it
Friends I had never
Use to know one who cares
I dragged down no hands reach to lift
No shouts no cheers I stood alone my hole life  
I try to let people in but no more my demons are and will be my only friends

The stars disappear the moon follows and the sun comes out... as long as u pay attention to the lights in the darkness u will find your way to a bright day...

You lie you lie u lie
U had me even lie for u
U lie to them
U will lie to me too
U lie u lie u lie
Your words make no sense
U speak gibberish
U mix up the truth
And blow your own spot
I believe  nothing u say
Except for that it's a lie
This is not the first time u looked me in the eyes
U lie u lie u lie

I can only laugh after u made me cry so much
I do not face away or turn my back
I simply stand their and watch u back away
I am harnessed to a limb down a river that falls
Beneath is rocks crashing waters
I do not want to let go because your life is in my hands
But I can not take this.. un able to swim for u
I will only drowned eachother the brittle rope im straped too
Can no longer hold two
I untie me and tie u i can no longer hold use togeather
I let go .. i drink no longer do i have air to breath
I plunge down rapped streams down a fall that drifts me away peace by peace my feelings curupt and my heart is no longer their i have feelings of distruction  as i hit the bottom of the fall