I was scared
to play guitar
and feel the strings
bite into my hands
first like paper cuts
until my fingers
morphed into marble

I was scared
to hear myself sing
and feel every imperfection
my ear telling me what was wrong
rather than soaking in
what was right
the flaws telling my story
of what keeps me up at night

I was scared
I didn’t have it in me
never stopping to think
what “it” was
that “it” isn’t just there
it’s built
like a ****** IKEA chair
its instructions unclear
my stubborn determination
the one thing keeping me going


Eventually we get a better chair
when it’s old, beaten, and thread-bare
and has earned its right to be replaced

And I’m scared this chair will break
before I can afford the next one
but until then
will you take a seat
and tell me what you think?

Tonight the wind's so bitingly cold
and you hear the water
eroding the rocks
gently with time and patience
like the taming of a pet

You feel your body add
to the sound of it all
your heart beats
your blood pumps
like a drum circle that's in full swing and can't be stopped

A constant reminder;
despite it all
you're still surviving
despite all the pain, all the scars
you are here and you are thriving

You see the beautiful moon
this giant night light in the center of the sky
and you stand and can't help but think:

Thank these stars shimmering so brightly
like millions of brand new light bulbs
that I'm alive to see this night

Why do I get such anxiety
when I compare myself
My only real goal’s to live life
so why can’t I just be?

I don’t need lots of money
it’s all gone when we die
I don’t need a nice car
it rusts in the end
And I don’t need a mansion
it’s just empty rooms with empty beds
So why can’t I see what I own
and be content

I mean look at the beauty of my life
I have a roof to sleep under at night
I have food to keep my stomach from strife
I have family to call on the phone
I have them close by when I need my home from home

So to hell with more money
to hell with luxury goods
to hell with these billboards
of how life can be “truly good”

But

Only if you have the right brands
of toothpaste, clothes, food, and jams
Only if you have the newest car
shipped straight from Japan
Only if you have a home
straight out of a Better Homes & Gardens ad

But

We buy these brands
and rage when we find
they bring no self-discovery
Only more **** to hide
with the rest of our crap
that we thought would leave us
satisfied

I’ll let you have your things
and struggle with the fake happy in them you hope to find
And I’ll sit here with my few things
and sigh the sigh
of a simple life