One amazing hanger holds my tuxedo.
One clever little 5 ounce piece of plastic and metal conformed into the shape of a bony set of shoulders carries the slim weight of my most formal outfit. It hangs proudly draped in shiny black, pretending to be me when I myself don't don the suit.

Once my affair is over I replace the material to its home. Dressing the hanger as I did myself. Pants first, folded width wise over the pleated front then length wise over the bar that so nicely holds them. Then the shirt fronted with a dozen or more ruffles goes upon the plastic-ly skeletal shoulders. Around the shepherds hook goes the cummerbund and bowtie, both relaxed as if ready to take some time off. Finally the form fitted jacket falls delicately into place, like a foot into a sock. It knows where it belongs, always the exterior, protecting the snow white shirt it envelops. Now the entirety of the contents of the hanger slip inside the black plastic body bag intended to hold such articles. Then as if a corpse, it hangs in my closet until next time.

How are you?
          I just had to send you this letter to tell you how much I love you and care about you. I saw you yesterday as you were walking with your friends. I waited all day hoping you would talk to me also.
          As evening drew near, I gave you a sunset to close your day and a cool breeze to rest you- And I waited, you never came, oh! yes it hurt me, but I still love you because I am your friend.
          I saw you fall asleep last night and I longed to touch your brow, so I spilled moonlight upon your pillow and face. Again I waited, wanting to rush down so we could talk. I have so many gifts for you.
          You awakened late and rushed off for the day... my tears were in the rain.
          Today you looked so sad, so alone. It makes my heart ache because I understand. My friends let me down and hurt me many times too, but I love you. I try to tell you in the quiet green grass, I whisper it in the colors of the flowers, I shout it to you in the mountain streams and give the birds love songs to sing. I clothe you with sunshine and perfume the air. My love for you is deeper than the oceans and bigger than the biggest want or need you have.
           We will spend eternity together in heaven. I know how hard it is on this earth. I really know because I was there and I want to help you. My Father wants to help too, He's that way you know. Just call me... ask me, talk to me. It is your decision. I have chosen you and because of that I will wait, because I love you.
                                        Your friend,
                                              Jesus

From the tree comes leaves
From the flower comes pollen
From my heart comes love

I love being by
Myself, so long as I am
By myself with you

Oh and then it goes
But softer even then you know
And it kisses you sweetly
With it's everlasting glow.

The stranger that you
thought you knew so well,
Instead of glimpses of Heaven
he shows you your hell

When the blue of the sky
Is taken over by the grey,
Just think of the sunrise
That will soon make it go away.

And know, that you are
The one I dream for.
And softly ever more it goes.
But what is the eternity,
I feel all the time.

And sadness is as cruel
as the fire that kills the rose.
So instead, open your heart
Make it a place where love grows.

And rejoice in the sweetness
Of the long awaited time,
When you are the only
Thought of mine.

The song I sing is never ending.
It echoes clear with every rhyme.
And everyone will keep the singing
In tune to mine.

Drink in your feelings.
They go down like thick and grainy cough syrup,
And come up like thin and boiling coffee,
Suffocating your breath like *****.
Let them choke in your mouth and nose,
Strangling your better judgement and your hopes for better thoughts.

Drown in your self pity

She doesn't love you: never did.
You can't say she's gone when she was never there.
How many times must you throw yourself into the middle of heartache, like a courageous fighter into the ring.
You aren't courageous, only stupid.
No Rocky Balboa are you, just a love sick boy full of too much hope.
Why Are you testing your good fate?
Is she worth it?

You may think so now, but you have far more life ahead of you.

If you haven't realized by now, she isn't good enough for you and never was.

You would give her the world if only you had the means, yet she wouldn't give you a second glance.

But yes, you have little past to state that you aren't hopeful. Maybe someday girls will like nice guys, and God willing you will love them too.

Now get off to bed, to school, to practice, to your home, to your dog, to whatever life takes you to. You need to live your life

La vida tiene felicidad y tristeza
Todos experimentamos y no podemos hacer nada
La fe es todo, y haríamos que bien para recordarlo
Les dicen que tiempo curan todos, pero es con una cuesta muy precio.
Para ser curan por tiempo les necesitan que olvidar.
Olvida que dolerse.

No quiero olvidarte. Quiero recordar los tiempos fueron imponentes. Pero le no quieres.

Seguiré adelante sin ti, o posible con ti si quieres.

Si lee este, por favor sabes que te quiero estar feliz y en un lugar grande. Y vaya con Díos

Remember the good things,
Forget the bad.
Don't pretend they didn't happen,
Just don't let them make you sad.
There are millions of memories,
Waiting to be had.

The best times are waiting,
The good times have past.
So remember the good things,
So the rest is not that bad

Sometimes we need to step away from our world, and look at the good things. It's so easy to get enthralled in the harshness of a situation when that one situation is the only thing you're thinking about. When we disengage, we realize how small everything is in the grand scheme of things. God is always right there with us, even when it doesn't seem that way.

One day this week I was praying in my car, listening to my CDs. As I was finished praying about how to get over this one girl (I keep it vague so as to help me forget) a certain song by the Eagles started playing: Take It Easy. If that isn't a sign from God then I must be crazy. So I have learned to step back, take it easy, work hard within my capabilities and not try to do Gods job, and leave the rest to God.

Goodnight :)

His hands turn the pages,
His eyes read the books.
His throat makes the sounds,
His lips form the words.

His feet shuffle forward,
His car goes to and fro.
His fingers type at a desk
click clack click clack
His pockets hold the checks.

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His body is all accounted for.
His work is done for the best of the best.
His mind is off at rest.

It feels like a liquid iron:
Sharp and cold and sickening.

The freezing metal begins
From my throat and moves to
My body. By then I feel nothing
But numbness. It's as if I'm falling
But there is no bottom. I hope there
Is no bottom, because if there is then I will surely hit it hard enough to explode upon the sharp-smooth black-blue slippery wet dark cave bottom.

But I am intact.
I stop spinning.
It was all synthetic.
Merely a glimpse into your hell
That jealousy has made my own