all i have left are brief, fleeting fantasies.

i see things i wish i could touch, and touch nothing that i see.

it makes no sense, none at all i know, as it's now all in vain.

i must learn to give myself up, i must give into the pain.

tears are trying to fall, yet the lions of rage stifle the flow.

i know i am going nowhere with nowhere going to go.

here's me taking a stroll now into that land of makingitallup.

this is my last less than a mile to go, falling down, falling up.

this is the invisible me who can no longer be seen or give talk.

this is me you don't see on the bymyself walk.

___
brief fantasy:
http://beautyineverything.com/5089079591

i see your eyes
bright sparkle-flecks,
an illumination
a light
that would
ignite
the wee-small hour
plight
when my body
ached
my every sleeping hour
was a quake
of scattered
dreams
and memory schemes,
mixed up
and lost
in the tangle of an ache
that for some
amazing reason
could
only be soothed
by
you.

wow!!! to say love is true,
but! for real girl!!  
you melt my heart away?
with them  gentle angel
eyes of love.
it true baby girl you
are the cat meow.
girl?
see  them
top  model on tv .
girl?  
they have nothing on you!
nothing! because, girl!
you are the blank!!!
you are the top model,
of my  heart! girl!
my heart!
my girl!
yeah   baby girl.
you melt my heart away.
with that warm sweet
smile.
you are my angel of love
girl.
you are a star in my heart.
that melts  my heart away.
you are beauty of spring.
you are my life.
my angel  love
your my girl.
you sweet thing you.
i love you,
baby girl.

maybe you may or may not see me
if you think you see me anywhere,
i may soon no longer be around,
but i may be gone into the softly air;
and in the subtle shadows,
of the flutter of the coloured leaves,
you may or may not see me,
floating in the billowed branches breeze.

maybe you may or may not see me,
this insight i shall never know,
for my life, i feel now dims to darkness,
trembling like a tiny, weakened flaming glow;
and within these dwindling hours here,
you may see me, or this may not be so,
for i am not sure if i was really there,
but, i know that shortly i must go...
__

soon me:
http://beautyineverything.com/4974900160

More along the lines
of my loneliness discord,
I stepped into the crime
of a *****, painful sword.

Too many closing doors,
and sorrow always there,
a memory has flood the moors
of my eyes a-brim with tears.

We have watched the sacred clock,
tick-tocking away delight,
yet never understood the shock
that something was not quite right.

Tomorrow's now never hoped for,
yesterday's a shattered dream,
we now crouch behind a closed, locked door,
and in silence loudly scream.