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When I wake up
I don't get a good morning
Or even
A hello

I get a "why didn't you turn in your library books yet?"
"Go clean your room"
"The way you're eating is disgusting"
"Look at all those horrible zits on your face"
"You're so lazy"
"Why haven't I seen [insert friend's name here] in so long?"
"No."

When I wake up
I don't get a good morning
Or even
A hello

I laze around in bed
And don't get up anytime soon
I laze around in bed
And don't get up until somewhere close to noon

You come upstairs and say, "Why are you in bed? Get up"
"You're being lazy again"
"Stop going on those stupid websites"
"Finish something for once"
"Do you have homework?"
So?

And you wonder why I don't get up in the morning
When the welcome I receive is far less than heartwarming
Heart racing
Heat rising
You're chasing
After chosen placing
To be on top
Of the rock
Instead of falling down
Replacing the sound
Of silence
It's hard to be quiet
Surrounded by
Nothingness suffocating
Everything that is
Everything that lives
And everything that doesn't
A throat, constricted
An unlikely victim
Falls again
Falls and bends
Broken but you
Don't care
You're at the beginning
Somewhere
I would shut myself in my room when no one was home
I would close all the windows so no sound would come through
I would sit on my bed and sing my heart out into an imaginary microphone
I would dance until my legs felt like they would collapse, and you
Will never understand why I love being home alone
I would write out scripts to comedy skits and record them on my laptop
I would have ridiculous conversations with Siri on my phone
I would dramatically read the stories and poems I've written and won't stop
Until you come back, and ruin everything by simply being there
You'll barge into my room and laugh at me
You'll say how stupid it is, but I don't care
The next time you're gone I'll do it again, see?
Please be busy, go ahead, leave
No, I don't want to come, too.
Go ahead, go out, please
**It's fun to do whatever knowing no one's there to judge you.
The little cares that fretted me,
I lost them yesterday,
Among the fields, above the sea,
Among the winds at play;
Among the lowing of the herds,
The rustling of the trees;
Among the singing of the birds,
The humming of the bees.

The foolish fears of what may happen,
I cast them all away
Among the clover-scented grass,
Among the new-mown hay;
Among the rustling of the corn,
Where drowsy poppies nod,
Where ill thoughts die and good are born
Out in the fields with God.



*Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Take your time
and mine
and from these moments
form one day
one hour
of solitude for us to share...

let nothing here
intrude

break not this gentle silence
with wasteful
words
fill up each pause with tender looks
a lovers touch
a lingering kiss
just take your time
and mine
to enjoy these perfect
moments.
That feeling is gone
The one I'd look forward to every time your fingertips touched my flesh
Laying on your couch

It wasn't the same

All that time I spent wondering where you were
Secretly longing to hear your laugh in the front seat of your car
I was haunted by those words you rarely spoke
Like a secret begging to flee from your mouth
"I love you"

That feeling is gone
That one I'd get by the taste of your lips
It would linger on me for days
You were all I could taste

That feeling of joy I'd get because you were so sweet
That feeling is gone
You were frightened I'd find the truth
Two years down our path I did
Now you trace my face with your gentle hands

It wasn't the same

That feeling I'd get when you look me in the eyes
Like we could live in that moment forver
That feeling is gone

I used to make you laugh
That familiar laugh that would play in my head for days
I imagine the past, then the future

It wasn't the same

I jump up whispering goodbye
As you drive away with that sorrowful sigh
I don't want to look back
All that time ago
On your comfy couch, somewhere lost in love

It isn't the same
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