I can still feel the way your eyes burnt into me.
the way your lips traced every curve of my body.
the way you held me.
I can still feel you, and your presence
but to you I'm a stranger, and nothing more than that.
a stranger that once kissed you with ever ounce of passion they had.
a stranger that spent hours, days, months, years even, studying ever scar, ever mark, every way your body moved.
but of course, strangers do that.
I'm just the stranger that walks around with your deepest secrets.

my fire was blown out by the words you carefully whispered in my ear each morning.
the day my fire went out became the day your chains bound me to your love, and held me in place slowly feeding me pain and heartbreak

i sit in my living room, surrounded by the people that find me utterly perfect.
but all i can do is think of how 'perfect' i was to you,
though there was always someone more perfect wasnt there.
cause if i was your definition of perfect you wouldnt be calling him that.

these are the days were the voices grow louder than my own thoughts
were the feeling of postmortem flutters through my head like a butterfly,
allowing my childhood thoughts to chase after it, with hope and light in their eyes
and all I can do is watch the light fade and the memories dissipate into thin air.
allowing myself to fall deeper and deeper into the thought

of postmortem.

I made a playlist for you once,
made of all the memories you have poured into me.
you've heard it before, not knowing it was made of my love for you.
the songs I sing to you, the words I quote to you, they all come from this simple playlist
consisted of the sparks you've ignited in me.

i forgive you for what you did,
but i hope you dont forgive yourself.
i hope it follows you around like a shadow,
i hope it makes your stomach sink when you think of me,
i hope it echos in your ears,
i hope your next lover leaves when you tell them of your actions.
but you forgave yourself long before i ever even thought of forgiving you and they do not plague you the way they have plagued me, so maybe,
i dont forgive you.

as i laid there, my whole body shaking
struggling to breath
to talk
to hold my dinner down
you held me to your chest and sang.
and in that moment i realized
i fell even more in love with you
than the day i became,
the one you call your own