my heart will forever have a you-shaped hole.
where only you will ever be able to fill it.

i’ll never know what’s going on in the back of your head.
i’ll never be able to look into you and realize what you’re thinking.
sometimes i wonder if when you look at me you imagine another.
i wonder if you’re waiting for me to give up so you can run back.
i hate that fact that i wonder.
that i doubt.
but sometimes that’s all i can do..

id let my life filter through your fingertips, leaving remnants of me on your palms.
ill kiss you the most beautiful of ways, letting our lips slowly touch and our tongues entangle gently.
ill hold your hands as if i was bonding my sweat with yours.
ill break you in the most angelic ways, making everything that was once stunning remind you of me.
and youll come crawling back to the storm that is my heart.

did you love them?
or did you fall in love with the version of them you created in your head?

he set fire to the world around him,
but never let a flame touch her.

i dreamed of you the other night.
i dreamt of the way your hands would feel running through my hair, while our legs were intertwined.
i dreamt of the way your lips would feel pressed against mine, holding my face in your strong steady hands.
i dreamt of you the other night.
the way your chest rose and fell, with deep inhales and soft releases.
the way you would spin me around in circles.
i hate dreaming of you,
because i dont have you.

youre the sun to my moon.
you make me shine bright and gravitate around the ones i love.
you give me equilibrium.
youre the sun, and im merely just the moon.

im tired of waking up with tears streaming down my face.
im tired of the dull eyes,
im tired of the red rivers running through them.
im tried of crying.
i wish i could do something else, i wish the pain was easy to handle.
im so tired.
i wish i could go to sleep, maybe even never wake up.

i stare sometimes.
i take in the undefined beauty of the crowd around me.
i watch the way people gesture, the way their hands move nimbly.
i watch the people run, with every time their foot hits the ground their arms go up.
i watch people put in headphones and the way their body reacts, gently yet so strongly.  
i stare sometimes.
i find the way peoples rings fit on their hands electrifying.
i find the way peoples hands intertwine, so softly yet so intimate.
sometimes i stare,
and its not because im rude.
im just taking in the beauty of the world, and enjoying every second of it.

i feel sick.
i feel tired, and empty.
i feel my eyes moving in their sockets.
i feel the blood coursing through my veins.
i feel my lungs slowly filling.
i feel me.
i feel every piece of me.
im sick.
and im tired.
i dont want to feel.
why do i feel anyway?

you cant water dead flowers,
itll only drown them.

we're all just broken people telling others how to heal their brokenness, while ignoring our very own advice.

i swear to god if you look into someones eyes and realize the home you saw in mine had been moved..

im not sure what ill do.
cause my eyes are only honey pots to you..
to the rest of the world theyre brown.
and dull.
but not to you.
god not to you..

its been awhile since you've heard from me
                              
                                                  ive missed you.

its like we're stranger now, just walking around with each others secrets.
                                                i wish we werent.

maybe ill see you around sometime. we can get coffee if you want.

                                               i wont. but i can hope so

i miss you. come back to me.

                                              i love you.

*the number you have dialed is no longer in service.

i went months with the constant dispense of my addiction for you.
and now i get to suffer the blood rotting withdrawals.  
and i know we both agreed on this, but
when i look at you i see constellations.
i see ocean waves gone rouge.
i see mighty trees and blanket thick forests.
i know we both agreed on this, but
when i hear you i get butterflies in my stomach.
i hear swigs of whiskey.
i hear a sweet southern drawl like nothing ive heard before.
i hear the hums of an electric bass amp.
i know we both agreed on this, but
i need you.
like the earth needs the moon,
like space needs the stars,
like guitars need their strings.
i need you the way you need pokemon cards.
god i just,,
dont give up on me..

lay me down in the middle of a field, covered in primroses and lavender poppies.
let the sun wash me over and the clouds cover me gently.
allow the bugs and birds to sing me their simple songs.
cover me in the simplicity of nature till the sun falls.
i want to be one with the earth and live ever more.