At the peak of its existence
love was all there was
never once did a deathly thought come upon us
never once did our love resign like laws

But things fell apart
and never once from the start
did I have a change of heart
now all I paint is black art
just to put my life into a kick start
and now my brain spills thoughts like abstract art
so I buy some red-bull from Walmart
just to drown myself in hypertension and good-heart
to ignore the fact that I have a broke heart
and use laughs to cover up how I was crying near the shopping carts
under the lights of a 2 am weather chart


Never once did I give up
never once did I give up
never once did I give up
now I give up

I walk along this road
passing by cars that make my hair blow into my face and I wonder if I'm just a waste of space
I'll try to jump in front of a car but these handcuffs won't let me put my hands up and say, "HIT ME I WANT TO DIE"
so I just keep walking n a road going nowhere and somehow I end up next to a tree
so I guess I'll just sleep and wonder about how I took those happy pills but they're not making me so happy,, **** IM LOSING IT AGAIN..
More nights of therapy sessions tangled in a ball of yarn I'll give to my cat to play with
Doesn't mean ****

What if our dreams come true?
You're always in mine.
All I really want is to lean my head on your shoulder,
While you tell me why the color of the sea makes you a little sad
I'd tell you I wish I knew but I'd just hold your hand a little tighter in fear of losing you
And you'll kiss my forehead and tell me it that it doesn't matter now

Im tired of worrying about my ex boyfriend who went to jail.
I need to start letting go of people.
But I'm stuck between being emotional and emotionless.

Whenever I'm alone
my mind seems to roam
about the past
and how the good memories never last
I lay on my bed listening to music
realizing how I'm becoming so lucid
people don't notice me as much
like I'm a ghost and such
Invisible to practically everyone
maybe I just need to buy myself a shotgun
what would it matter if one person out of this planet dies?
I'm sure no one will cry
It's just hard to stay alive,
emotions going into overdrive
Maybe I should listen to my thoughts for once
cause I'm nothing but a dunce
End it all in one blow,
life is nothing but a living horror show

Wake up just to go back to sleep
Later I'll take some antidepressants, but this **** ain't cheap
Waiting to feel good, I'll play some DOOM
**** them all in a dark dead room
Life is basically like an illusion
**** it, life's giving me a mental confusion
Time flies and it's already 11 at night
Everything is black and white