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Dean Sep 2019
what i would give for this one thing to go right
but then again they never do
so i’m prepares for rejection
and for the worst
because that’s what i deserve
Dean Aug 2019
i kept going
Dean Jun 2019
i was right yet again
and i’m too tired to write anything good
i’m just tired of the hurt
and not knowing what to physically do with myself
because sleep isn’t an option
as all i’ll dream about his him
when i lose consciousness after three hours
Dean Jun 2019
i’m afraid to write about him
in case he leaves me too.
as i sit here in bed with my curtains closed,
another day completely the same,
a never ending cycle of nothing,
he lays on the other end of the phone.
and i’m too afraid to hang up,
in case he leaves me too.
why do i keep doing this to myself
Dean May 2019
i’m sorry that i cant
and never could be enough.
i’m sorry that this hurts so bad
and i can’t even tell you.
Dean May 2019
i’m a liability.
i don’t really care if you like me or not,
it’s like you told me, go forward slowly
then i fall and then i know.
cross off the ones that heard my cries and watched me weep.
we move like the ocean, but i can’t swim anymore.
like cardiac arrest, high voltage when we kiss,
i cant promise you that i won’t let you down.
could we be as close as we felt before again?
i won’t let you choke on the noose around your neck,
sometimes i wanna disappear.
none of these are my own words, simply lyrics from a playlist i listen to when things are complicated. they sounded cool combined.
Dean Apr 2019
a dance going back and forth,
a consistent struggle as i cry yet search for another.
but our dance has come to an end,
an end you accepted far before i ever could,
and yet here i am.
sitting on the bench, taking off my shoes.
staring across the room as i let out a sigh.
i’m okay now.
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