stared through
                        smudged
                          smeared
they're forever
not looked at
instead looked through
                                  do they understand
                                  they're needed?
they keep in warmth
they keep out wind
they keep in cold
they let in wind
                                                they have a purpose:
                                     to be not looked at
                                     instead looked
                                     through

everything hurts
           my backbone is constantly struggling to keep me upright
        my head is always hanging
     my heart
                         well that's broken. shattered is a better word actually
           my everything
                  everything is being subtle
more than everything hurts
                                         but i cant think of a word
                                            that describes it
better than everything
                                         because my
                    everything
hurts
          aches
           ­        everywhere
                                                                ­      and sometimes i think
                                                           ­      that maybe
                                                           ­                 a hug could help
                                                            ­                                 why can't anyone tell
                                                      i just
                                                                ­   need
                                                          ­                              to be held safe
                                                            ­                 because i feel broken
                                                          ­     please
                                                          ­                         hold me together

punch
punch kick
punch kick slam
                                                            the walls are just far enough apart
                                                            that i can't touch them with my arms
                                                            stretched as much as they can
i fling myself at the wall
i know they're white
i've seen them
                             so bright
i had to squint
                                                     but now
                                                i know there's a light
            i can see my hands
                      in front of my face
but it only makes the room
       a dull grey
                                          not the white it once was
               fingernails claw at the walls
                         trying to discover where
                                                          where that faint light
   is coming from
                                    i can't located it
          where's it coming from?
and why isn't it as bright
as before?                                              (..when you were here..)
                     i scream and kick
      bash walls, crash around the
once a comfortable space
                    which had now began to close in
           maybe it was just the low light
but i can't breathe
                                                    it's getting smaller
              i fight harder
where is the light?!
                        where is it?!

punch
punch kick
punch kick slam
punch kick slam fall
                               fall
                               fall
punch.

in panic attacks
  my brain sings
la la la la
                i'll be okay
  la la la la la
remember to breathe
       la la la la
what's breathing?
  la la la la
          who're you?
do do do
   what'd you want?
  do de do la
help help help
            lalalala
it'll be fine
lalaladodododa
                           help

I'm holding water
Salty water
and
Its spilling out my hands

United we stand
divided we fall

I guess we're all falling
not together
but
at the same time

No matter how hard
you try to make things better
to cheer everyone on
solve issues
fake happiness

It doesn't work if I can
see through that
mask of smiles

To make someone else happy
you have to first
make yourself happy

because genuine happiness
warmth
and
love

can only be translated
and spread
If it comes from deep down
and
its
*real