Then
Why didn’t you
Just
Tell me

The Truth

Straight

Everything happening
At once
Everything

Mind
A blank
Can't think
Of what to do
How to react

Everything
Moves
On
Faster
Faster
Faster
Faster

STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

You'll be hard
You'll be cold
You'll never feel
You'll never break
Again

I fixed
Myself
Picked up all the
Pieces
Or so I
Thought

If I did
There wouldn't be
An empty
Patch

If I did
The pressure
Wouldn't be building

If I did
It wouldn't be
So dark

If I did
I wouldn't be
Like
This

So the scenes
Replay
And manifest
In others
All around
And everyone
And everything
Collapses
At the same
Time

Sighs sit
In your chest
Not enough goes in
Not enough comes out

Voices bouncing about
Inside your head
Screeching
Contradicting
Listing
Taunting

Fighting the impulse
Clutch at your hair
And curl into
A ball
Alternatively
Covering your
Ears

Energy draining
Breath panting
Wanting everything
To end

Stuck in this
Constant
Replay

Seen both in
Yourself
And
Others

Funny
How
One person
Can be more
Than one

Have more than one
Side
Have more than one
Layer

Sometimes
It shows
Sometimes
It doesn't

It takes control
Of you
Like a puppet
Filling up the
S p a c e
Changing
Your entirety

You see things
Differently
You talk
Differently
You behave
Differently

Happy
Cranky
Angry
Anxious
Hard working
Lazy
High
Low
Nervous
Fly
Sink
And everything
Else

It gets
Difficult
To track
Difficult
To control
Difficult
To suppress

Yet

It provides
A certain kind of
Protection
And secrecy

I see you
I smile
You ignore
Give me the cold
Shoulder

I wonder
Why
The temperature
Inside
Drops
Echoes of the
Question
Echoing
Echoing
Echoing…

Leaving me wondering
What did I do wrong
Now?

Sinking
Sinking
Wishing I were
Elsewhere
Wondering
If I should do
More
Divided
Torn
Ripped
Confused
Off focus

The sudden drop
Creates a down draft
A vacuum
And suddenly
Everything starts
Crashing down
Like standing on a submarine
And it goes
Down
Dragging you
With it

The presence
Is back
The itch
Is back
The lethargy
Is back
The weight
Is back
The cold is back
A dark bitter winter
Vision blurring…

Please don’t drop…