Quiet.
It's a funny thing.
The thing we want most,
And what we never want to have a lot of.
Quiet.
It clears the mind,
Cleans the heart,
Refreshes the soul,
Strengthens the body.
Quiet.
Such a destructive voice!
It's emptiness consumes and is always hungry,
Devouring forever and never satisfied.
Stealing thoughts,
Gnashing dreams,
Tearing hopes up and eating them one by one.
Quiet.
It does good...
But too much is a dangerous weapon.
It surrounds its victims in a blanket of darkness,
Eating away at their lonely hearts.

Quiet.
Be careful.
It can ****.

He sees you once in a while,
But he doesn't see you often enough.
He touches you in greeting,
But it never means very much.

He talks to you a lot,
But only with his voice.
He never seeks you out,
You're not his first choice.

He talks to other girls,
Almost every day.
When does he talk to you?
When you're in his way.

He smiles at you,
What difference does it make?
He already has someone else,
You've come too late.

He talks to many girls,
You can't expect him to like you.
You're an ugly broken thing,
Nothing shiny and new.

Step out of his way,
Avoid his friendly sight.
You're not good enough,
For this princely knight.

You have no honor,
You have no beauty.
You have no strength,
You can only do your duty.

Let other girls make him laugh,
Let other girls charm his mind.
Let other girls be his best friends,
For you he'll never have time.

Let him slip away from your eyes,
Let him walk away from you.
Let him dance with the belles of the ball,
You together will never work through.

This is just a dream,
You'll wake up very soon.
You won't forget him,
As soon as he'll forget you.

You were never anything to him,
You were never his.
This was just a fabrication,
One wild imagined wish.

Wake up now before it ends
Wake up before the final scene.
He may end up loving you,
But it can't be real- it's just a dream.

Maybe I should go
Maybe I should leave
Wouldn't it be better
Than he stop loving me?

He probably doesn't anyway
Maybe I shouldn't stay
It's better than forever sticking around
And seeing him love another girl some day

Whose to say what will happen?
Whose to say this is all sure?
What if my heart gets broken again-
Will this time there even be a cure?

Guess I better accept it
Guess I better go
We are only friends right now
It's better he never know

This is something possible:
I may like him and he like me
But it can never end well
This is something that cannot be

There's a better girl for him
With pretty eyes and pretty hair
There's a woman out there somewhere
With a heart of gold and a face fair

This girl will be perfect
Unlike me
I am a ragged torn old object
Unseen

She's running,
Running,
Running away,
Away from love,
Love coming her way

She's hiding,
Hiding,
Hiding from sight
From everyone's eyes
Shaking from fright

She's crying,
Crying,
Crying alone,
Pushing away,
Away from home

She's cutting,
Cutting,
Cutting her skin,
Hurting herself,
She cannot win

She's beating,
Beating,
Beating her flesh,
Bruises appearing,
Purple and fresh

She's pulling,
Pulling,
Pulling away,
Away from him,
She won't stay

She's running,
Running,
Running to death,
She wants to give up,
But she won't yet

I think I may die tonight
I don't think I will get this through
The blood is dripping from my sheets
My hands are turning blue

I sewed together the scabby ends
Of my wounds with searing pain
I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes
And felt my salt tears fall like rain

My pillow is a rock under my neck
My breathing shallow and fast
I cannot feel my legs or feet
Is it midnight? no, it's past

There is no window to distract
I cannot see anything anyway
My pupils enlarged to blackened spheres
There is no blue left from yesterday

A chill settles on my bones
I cannot move but I can feel
Freezing fingers climbing up my bed
The terror I sense is real

The spider legs of nightmares grab
And stab me everywhere
Inserting their thick needle feet
Into my wounds so bare

My feet are gone- detached from me
My legs are numb as well
My torso going colder as
My mind catches fire- what hell!

The pounding of my failing heart
Fills my nearly deafened ears
My hair is pulled out strand by strand
My burial is getting near

I can see my gravestone in my mind
An arching roundish one
Graven deeply in the rock words read
The psalm of my life done

"A teenager-no more than 17
Was taken by death today
Fate saw this child's time was up
And bid the Reaper come her way"

Well the Reaper came and cut her off
From this world of hate
He wrapped her up in his black silk
And delivered her up to Fate

Fate looked down and saw a girl
Of beauty far supreme
Death usually withers the face
But this smile glowed and gleamed

Fate leaned forward taking in
The girl who smiled so wide
It was not natural for happiness to last
But her future Fate must decide

Fate looked at her servant Reaper
Young and still in his prime
A lonely fellow who longed for nothing more
Except a friend he could keep for all time

Fate stepped down and pulled back his hood
And took in his handsome face
He wasn't the scary reaper you
See represented in that Earthly place

His hair was black as ravens wing
His eyes as blue as summer sky
His skin pale as winter snow
His Phoenix wings stretched out to fly

Fate looked at the girl
She was a beauty indeed
It must come from a heart of gold
A kind heart aged 17

The girl's smile was wide as the Milky Way
Her eyes shone like the sun on the moon
Her hair flowed like a curling waterfall
Her cheeks were roses in bloom

Fate nodded and gave the Reaper
The hand of the beautiful teen

Then all the visions faded fast
As I woke up from my dream

Maybe I shouldn't speak my mind
Maybe I shouldn't let words out of my heart
Maybe I should be silent and frozen in time
Maybe I should wear an prisoner's mark

Maybe I should cut out my tongue
Maybe I should rip out my vocal chords
Maybe I should avoid everything fun
Maybe I should step aside people hoards

Maybe I should stab my ears
Maybe I should eject my eyes
Maybe I should plug up my tears
Maybe I should ignore how time flies

Maybe I should forget my loves
Maybe I should avoid my kin
Maybe I should forget what comes
From being a prisoner deep within

But I shouldn't. I wouldn't be punishing only myself. Others would hurt too, because

They would see me
They would hear me
They would touch me
They would speak of me
They would cry for me
They would still love me

And I'd never respond.

In this state of emotional mind
Of course I cannot see that
All I see is the my own hate
Breathing it and feeling it

I am human
Nothing better
Let go of my anger
Escape the fetter

When I'm like this
I need to stop and think
When my head is clear and cloudless
After taking a watery drink

Then I'll see past the emotions
And into the possible future
I'm at a cross road every day
I'd rather not be someone's butcher

I can take this path
And make everyone else hurt more
Or I can take a different way
Even though my heart is sore

I want to be in pain
It's what I know I deserve
But by thrusting myself onto the sword
I wouldn't ever live, I'd burn

It's a lie to say no one else will care
Its not true, it's not true
While you stand inside your flames
They watch you suffer through

Imagine their pain and see if it compares

The man whom I shall love,
Who will he be?
I don't know yet
I may have met him already
I may have not
I am still young
I have time to find him
And he find me

The man whom I shall love
Will have a heart so large
It radiates outside of his body
A welcoming aura
Friendly
Loving
Kind
He will welcome me each day with a smile
He will not need to speak to tell me he loves me
He will hold me and cherish me
And love me so much he cannot help but smile

The man whom I shall love
Will have a spirit
Of courage
Compassion
Wisdom
And leadership
He will guide my decisions when I am confused
He will strengthen me when I am weak
He will let my cry into his shoulder and then wipe the tears from my eyes
He will help me solve problems and questions
He will protect me and fight with me when we are challenged

The man whom I shall love
Will have a smile of joy
A smile that spreads wide across his face
A smile that expresses what he feels and his thoughts
His smile will warm me
He will cause me to smile
We will smile together

The man whom I shall love
Will have a laugh
A laugh that can be loud
Echoing over the hills with happiness
A laugh that can be as quiet as a bubbling creek
A laugh that will roar like a waterfall
A laugh that will whisper like a summer breeze
A laugh that will spread to everyone around him
A laugh that will make me laugh
A laugh that is caused by mine

The man whom I shall love
Will have a mind of strength
A mind that can be counted on
He will have discernment
Truthfulness
Respect
Honor
Thoughtfulness
He will share his opinions and dreams with me
I will be able to confide in him safely
His ideas will be full of animation
Excitement
And passion
His mind will never be boring

The man whom I shall love
Will have strong hands
That are firm but gentle
Tough but soft
That work hard
And are honest
His hands will be generous
Kindness will flow from them
But he will also use them to fight
If someone threatens him

The man whom I shall love
Will have a voice unlike any other
A voice that can be deep and reassuring
That can be humorous and happy
That can be silent when it needs to be
That can sing and soar upon the wind
We'll sing together
Laugh together
Cry together
And be silent together

The man whom I shall love
Will be a man of God
Who will be faithful and loyal
He will have a heart for those Lost
Willing to sacrifice anything
Even his life
Together we'll pray and seek God
Together we'll read the bible and deeply discuss it
Together we will serve and love for our entire lives

The man whom I shall love
Will be very special indeed
He is the only man
That could care so deeply for me