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Roudan Feb 2020
Iver tried to say it dosent hurt no more
And all i feel is joy and love or laughter
So i keept drinking even more
Not caring for the morning after.  

I've tried to think that i could sing
And i would be the biggest in the world
But truth be told i cannot sing
I'm musicless and gray and old

So then ive tried to paint a picture
And i believed that ive invented a new style
Unfortunately it was just a sad picture
Of lonely water colors, forever in denial

Borred, then I had a go at politics,  religion, math and history
Relentless in my search for my next fix
To love without chemistry

And in the end ive started writing nonsense
Thinking somehow ive stolen Shakespeare's muse,
But yet again my false pretences
Have left me mumbling confused.

I stopped trying to be so many things
And i start drinking mostly water
Waiting to see what future brings
When you do care about the morning after.

For all those that I've failed : forgive me
I will try harder from now on
I'll throw my ego in the black sea
Attached to a horizon at the dawn.

Then I will sail away ,keep seeking for the ocean,
Cutting through waves of madness and illusory dreams
Looking for a new story, a different new emotion
With intricate screen savers and neverending themes.  

Written by an AI
Roudan Sep 2018
Imagine,

everybody living in a grey world
and with stray love
with empty feelings
and broken hearts
It's a grey world
With no green,
no blue,
no red
no yellow
no truth
No pink
no black
no white
no orange
Just lies
With so many questions comes expectations
much higher then the Everest
Answers will be grey
Will tell you to obey
So you can find you're way
Just lies
No violet
no purple
no gold
Just a grey strange world
Imagine
A world with no feelings no flowers or birds
A world tormented by barbarian hordes
Roudan Sep 2018
You hate me. I know you hate me.

You tried for so long to forget me...

But you loved me. I know you still love me,

You tried for so long to reach and to hold me...  



I see in your freckles

A dead sun dust speckles

Imprinted on your skin

Like distant galaxies

with nothing in between.  

The more I've looked

The less I've seen.  



The glow in your eyes

Fueled by stars and lies

Lit by endless skies,

Is waiting to reborn

From this silent storm.

The more I look the deeper I go

The more I find the less I know  



I read on your lips

All that I've missed

The secret of bliss.

Waiting to be told

In this endless cold

Dwells the curse of the gold.

The more i hear

The less i fear

For the end is near.  



When i feel your touch

Nothing seems to much

The despair is gone

All shivers to the bone

Are waiting for the dawn.

The more i wait

My selfish own

Will turn your heart

Into a stone.

    

And all I've become

Are speckles of a dead sun

Imprinted on your skin.

Whispers denied by a silent scream

Waiting for a dawn

Which will never come

For the end has already begun.

And all you can do now is run

Our future is gone... Please run.
Roudan Jul 2018
I am my own god I am my own truth
I am my own wisdom I am my own youth.
I am my new own love I am my old lost hate
I have the power to choose my own fate
I am my own servant I am my own king
I have the gift of knowing what future is going to bring.
I am the silence within my own voice
I am the stillness within my own choice.
I am my own door who doesn't need a key
I am the entrance to all that I could be.
I am my own traveler on the ray of light
I am my own shadow in the corner of night.
I am my own cloud raining after thunder.
I am my own rainbow disappearing in wonder.
I am my own saint chased by my own sinner.
I am my own reality hidden in the soul of a dreamer.
I've been given a life and I'll walk it my way,
Knowing that the end is not far away.
I am my own you and you are my own me
And if you could change who you are
What would you do differently?
Roudan May 2018
You have betrayed my secrets encoded in my past

When you unveiled in anger the face behind the mask!  

So careless in your judgment you chose to **** the trust

It only took a second to turn me into dust!  
  

The notion of forgiveness it must've slipped your mind

With that you have forgotten how to be wise or kind.

Can't even you remember when you were high and free

You really don't remember  being sometimes like me?


And all those memories you now have cast aside

Will add to the thin substance of this unreal life

The feelings you've denied and tried to keep inside.  

Will bleed onto a rusted and broken heart of mine.
Roudan Apr 2018
I wanna keep dancing with the sun on my face
And I wanna keep falling through this empty space.
And I wanna keep feeling when there's nothing to feel
And I wanna keep thinking that everything's real.
I wanna keep dreaming awake in my sleep.
And I wanna keep rising from the void of the deep.
I wanna keep seeing through the eyes of the blind
And I wanna keep growing inside of my mind.
I wanna keep sailing on waves of desire
I wanna keep teaching and I wanna inspire!!!
Roudan Apr 2018
It's beautiful how the light of sun reflects the inverted image of your body through the vessels of  my monochromatic eyes, moving towards my brain ready to be repositioned, adjusted and religiously translated.
It's beautiful how the color of your eyes is a bit of every other color. Only your lips of black cherries and your hair of gold barley  whispering and swinging in the wind.
It's beautiful how you came into being  to understand what you are becoming and seeing beyond where you are going towards
It's beautiful when you laugh and you are sad at the same time.
Its beautiful when you dance, when you swim, when you dream.
It's beautiful when you talk about innocence not realizing how naive you can sometimes may be.
Its beautiful to smell the summer stuck on you, the winter, spring and autumn too...
But is nothing more beautiful than the way you can truly love!
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