The words just won't flow
Because no words could ever compare
To the beauty of your touch
And the music of your voice
In my head
In my bed
Laying next to me
Not speaking a word
But, you're all I hear
At night when we're asleep
And we're wandering in dreams
That's the way it seems
We're wandering in a dream
That happens to be reality
But, if it's a dream
Please don't wake me
Because I am so happy
To call you my best friend
To feel your comfort
To laugh when we're stupid
So hard I cry sometimes.

The words come and go
So many words and so many thoughts
It's hard to pick through them
But, my best, I will try for you
Because you deserve it
And so do I
You know what I deserve
And I know what you need
It's so crazy that I didn't believe
I never believed what I couldn't see
But, I see you
And that gives me enough belief
To renew this faith
A new lease on life
That's what we are
Happy alone
But, better together
That's what we are
And this will only get better.

No.
No.
No.
No.

That's what I said
But, you never listened.

No.
No.
No.
No.

Now just left feeling violated instead.

No.

Maybe next time you'll listen
But, there won't be a next time
Never again.

The rush of air
And the glimpse of gold
Shimmering light
In stories of old...
Not here, not there
But, everywhere
The sounds the sights
All rushing in air
With the sound of the music
Be careful, don't lose it...
Just let it settle in
Relax
Now breathe in and begin
In and out of time
Swaying with the melody
You are not you
We are not us
I am not me
I am one with the sound
I am the air in the atmosphere
Clouding and shimmering
How much do I dare?
Push and pull
But, always settle...
Tell the tales of old
The shimmering lights of gold
In the eyes of the people
In the eyes of the world
Show them the sights
And open their eyes
Show them how bright the starry nights can shine
With mystical, whimsical lines and rhymes and chimes
Listen to the wind...
Carry the sound and let the sound carry you
Because you are not you
You are the sound.

Music to me
Only comparable to
Oxygen for you
My love
My life
My every breath
Every thought could not exist
If not for my music
Hear it
See it
Feel it
Course through my body
Like blood through your veins
Let it take me away
To a far away place
Only music can
When my heart is racing
And I cannot breathe
It is Music who can save me
To Music, I thank thee
For everything you've done
For saving me
I'd be out on the streets
A lost cause
With nothing to believe
Drugs by day
******* by night
With  no hope in sight
To my Savior
My Salvation
I thank thee
For saving me.

I used to think loneliness was something I could bear
I'd pride myself in living this life alone
Now I seem to find myself just longing for the love I've missed

Living alone was not so bad
I had time to find myself, time was mine and no one else's
Though time grows old when you're alone
You question why the clock ticks on
You count the seconds until the day is done
Then rest your head until your mind is numb

The numb is over and you rise again
You begin to ask "When will this end?"
Stuck in that dark place you wonder why
Why?
Why?
Why?
...why?
Why go on with no one here?

You've been strong, yes you have
You've found yourself, grown wise on your own
But, now what is the purpose?
Living your days alone holds no fulfillment
All the love you have to give
It is something, only if there is someone to share it with

Yeah run that same game
It's always my fault
It's always me
When you'd talk me down
And I'd feel so small
You'd say it was my turn
But, I couldn't talk at all
You disgust me, too
You *******, you *****
But, I hope you're happy
Because hate isn't worth it
You'll be runnin that game
With the next girl you play
And I hope she sees it
Can look passed the game
Maybe you need a black chick
Maybe whats her name?
You played the victim the entire time
Now it's my time to shine
If I said I hope you die
I'd be lying
You don't deserve that much of my time
So hate me all you want
See if I care
But hate is more than I could stand to give you
I've done more in the passed day
Than I have in a month
And for that I thank you
For letting me go
So I could see how low we've become
But, I'm climbing again
And I'll say I'm much better
And if I see you around
I'll just smile and wave
Because to you, I am no longer bound.

A single tear falls
Just one
From someone who could have had it hall
A single tear is shed
Just one drop
From the eye of the woman
Who didn't come out on top
Just one tear from the eye
Of the guy who thinks he's too strong
Too strong to cry
Hide the weakness and dry your eye
He's afraid inside
Strip down the walls and bare your soul
Afraid of the world
You know its oh so cold
A tear that fell
What happened to the rest?
They're just bottled inside
Never laid to rest
Sadness festering
Turning to anger in your chest
Boiling and burning anger
Deep inside yourself
Never leaving you alone
Triggered
The hell begins
And you just bottle it up again
A single tear falls
Let it fall again
Let one turn to two
And two turn to three
You don't want to turn out like me.

Screams from the past
They aren't really from the past
Are they?
Screams from the past
Just screaming out now
Screams of the present
To the future
A scream is a scream
I'm screaming now.

The words want to flow
But, so many poems in a row
I made a promise, not only to you
But, to myself
The subject matter at hand
I'll only say what I can
So that I can grow
The words cannot flow.

Oh darling,
Your love I could not doubt
Gleaming eye and tender touch
Gentle kiss and loving voice
Knowing I am yours
That is what's nice.

Loving someone is grand
But, knowing you love me back
You love me like no one else can
Though miles apart
By your love I am still touched
That is what's grand.

With every word he speaks
Taking my breath away
His embrace wrapping me with warmth
Keeping me safe
Protecting me from harm.

It's his love I've longed for
So long I've wandered searching
Waiting for a love like this
Not only loving
But, having love in return.

Going back to it
You'll never hear
All the wasted anger
All the wasted fear
Memory no more
Everything will be lost
Now I'm left by myself
To figure it all out

Ever feel that feeling
Where you're at, you don't belong
But you're forced into calling it your home?

Ever feel that feeling
Every single move you make
It's being watched and everything you say
Is being used against you?

Ever feel that feeling
It's just the same thing over and over
Never getting any closer
To the solution at hand
And you just don't know about your plan?

Ever feel that feeling
Getting ******* at daily by your man
Telling you one thing
But not making you understand
Feeling lower and lower
Till one day you won't be able to stand?

Ever feel that feeling
It's never him, it's always you
Picked apart at the seems
Until he's making you bleed
"Is he really right
Or is he just manipulating me?"
All I know is that it's always me.

One of those moments
When writing just isn't happening
When all you can do is quote your favorite song
When you can't come up with your own
Trying to breathe and speak
But the words catch in your throat
Behind the tears falling from your eyes
Falling at the tempo of your music
In time to the beat of your weary heart
Thinking and wondering
When the worry gets too much
And you realize you're silly
Now get over it
So your heart can move on to another beat.

The end is drawing near
Can't you feel it, too, my dear?


Slow the breathing, my love
Soon...soon, it will be gone





Leave us, heathen
Leave us to live in peace

Slow the breathing, my demon
Soon my pain will be gone



You've served your purpose
What little that might have been
Now go on and cease
Can you leave us feeling proud?

Grasp your last days of life
Love your one true love
The bottle you always hold dear
Never the ones that are near

Ignorant you are to the pain
But, that is fine
Sweet salvation is near
So, slow your breathing, my dear.

Your life will fade away
As will our pain
I will never forget
How can I forgive?

You don't deserve
You can't have us
Our pain will fade


So, slow your breathing, my dear
The end is drawing near.

I feel the need for the words to pour
Yesterday was rough
Today I'm sore
But, I live to see another day
Of my life.

You say this is a mistake
Yeah, it could be
But, it's mine to make
I make my own mistakes
In my life.

This time it's rough
And yeah, I may have ****** up
But, everyone does it now and again
It isn't the end of the world
I'm not ruining my life.

I'm already ******* myself
I punish myself when I mess up
What makes you think this is any different?
This isn't a walk in the park for me
I evaluate my life.

I may not have a plan
How can I when this is so unpredictable?
But, I'll try my hardest to make something of myself
If it takes getting a 9 to 5 job, so be it
I will make the most of my life with the resources given.

I have friends that love and care for me
I have a family that provides and loves me
I will have people there to pick me up when I fall
If I can't get up off the ground
I appreciate the people in my life.

This is my life.

You're holding the gun
And I'm pulling the trigger
I'll shoot us both

You taught me to cry
He teaches me to love.

Hour long phone calls
Up late at night
Trying hard to find
An answer in sight
Seeking the warmth
Another to adore
But, never will try
For they will always have love
Together they'll try
The rules, they'll defy
Day by day
Waiting and waiting
For an end in sight
To all this craziness, right
Late night dreams
And day time tears
Ears to listen
Hands want to hold
But, not near enough
So the phone it does rest
Upon my chest
Hoping my heartbeat you'll hear
Though you aren't near
These hour long calls
I'm hearing you now
As I hold back the tears
Because we are not near

A love without logic
A dangerous thing
But, when done correctly
Beauty, it could bring.

When one ignores logic
Do they have a brain?
Forget about her
All she did was bring you pain.

The pain of the past
It makes us fear the rest
Some are different than those
Some will only give you the best.

She will if you let her
Give you all of her world
For she has little to live for
A new life, you unfurl.

She'll be the bullet to your gun
She'll be the sword to your shield
She'll give you everything and more
But, not when you yield...

Young and in love
Just all shaken up
What happened to love?
What happened to us?

When you write
Will you still think of me?

When you sing
Will you still think of me?

When I write
Will I still think of you?

When I struggle
Will I still think of you?

Have you found her?
Have I found him?

You won't think of me when you sing
And I won't think of you when I write
What once used to be one
Has become two.

Two for the better


Don't think of me when you sing
Just don't forget
As I won't.

You'll think of her
I'll think of him



He'll think of me.

Oh, little birdie, all dressed in white
Tap on my window tonight
For its your love I need
Come to my window, steal me away, I plead
This life is stale, what lies in store?
I feel desire burn down to my core
For more than this life, for more...

Little bird in white
Turning away from my window tonight.

Light of day breaks
Weary bones
Slowly begin to move
Dreary mind
Gears begin to turn
Another day
Just another day
Missing what's coming
Seeing what's going
Looking back
Remembering the pain
Forgetting to look forward
Missing everything coming
Seeing everything that's leaving
One track mind
Focused on the wrong
Turn around to face the day
Not looking back on the night
Looking to tomorrow
Vision is a gift
Life is the same
Set sights to life and take off
Weary bones get moving
Dreary mind is cleansed by the sun
Warm rays showing hope
It's (not) just another day
Set your sights to life

Feeling the pull
With the force of gravity
On us all
But, especially on me
Pulling me towards you
Not knowing why
It's so strong
I can't deny.

Knowing each other for years
Why so suddenly now?
But, maybe I've always known
We could grow
But, I'm not ready yet
To open that door
That I know could so easily be opened
The door to our hearts
We've shared so much
And yet we know so little
Maybe one day we'll both meet in the middle.

Maybe I'm wrong
I've been known
To be wrong for so long
Before I realize what is right
But, this feeling inside
I don't know how long it'll hide.

Shallow, quick breaths
Cold sweat drips from the brow
The four walls are a cage
And I'm never let out.

I can run but, it always finds me
Hunts me down until I can't run anymore
Corners me in this room
It is predator
I am prey.

Haven't felt safe in years
Not outside forces but, within
Fear has grown and grown
Longing to feel comfort once again.

Days of smiles are long since gone
Tears seem here to stay
Hazy sadness and crazy days
When will it go away?

Filled with love
Consumed by hate
This is why I can't think straight.

Why did I let you be the one
To ruin all of those love songs?

Why did I let myself
Fall so madly in love with you
When I knew things wouldn't be?

Why did I let it get this bad?
Now I can't listen to a single tune
Without getting sad.

Why did I let you be my passion?
Now it's struggling to live.

Why did I let you control me?
I lived my life around you.
Do you know that?

Why did I let you give me so much
When I knew it would just get taken away?

Why did I let you be the one?
Because I was in love with you.

If I could travel through time
Like a melody lost in the wind
I would travel the world
Seeing the sights that most only dream of
I would see it all
But, it'd be nothing
Without you.

If I could travel through time
Like a melody lost in the wind
I would find my way back home...
Back home to you
Back home where my heart resides
Safe in yours.

If I could travel through time
Like a melody lost in the wind
I would set my sights to happiness
And fly to you, love
If I could...I would.

Pangs of jealousy
Twinges of regret
Pulsing anger running red through my veins

The distant look in the eyes
The ache of the heart so heavy
It could sink out of one's chest

Like a punch in the gut
The news always is
The truth of the matter
What one never wants to hear...

It is not truth which sets us free
Handling the truth is key

Money is tight and things don't feel right
But, I'm still grateful for what I have
No matter how little or tiny
The laptop I'm on
It's really my mom's
But, she gave it to me when mine went down
I'm grateful for her
What she does everyday
And the time I try to comfort her
She pushes away
Crying in the kitchen
I don't know what to say
I don't know how to let her know
That everything is going to be okay
This Christmas doesn't feel like Christmas
Though I have everything I want
I can't give the things to her
To stop the tears from coming
Just another day in this house
I wouldn't have it any other way
But, once this day is over
Will we look back and say, "hey"
Something is out of place
And we gotta put it back together
Fit the pieces inside
I don't know what else to say
So I'll end it this way
Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night.

Coming home,
I thought it'd be different this time
No more bedtime cries late at night
Lonely days be gone
I thought they were
Maybe its just that expectations are skewed.

You have your life
Do you know you have mine?
Without you, and numbed mind
I sit and I write
I sit and I cry
I sit and I stare at the walls until I die.

Boredom it is called
Ordinary form, it is not
Not with these memories on the walls
Intricate frames, look into the image
Watch as it plays scenes of the past
Each wall is covered
You'll be entertained for hours.

Hours and hours go by
Three months time
One question remains
Will I make it alive?

Vision blurs
Mind goes blank
Knees weak
Hands are sweaty
What is it that I'm about to do?
Sell away my soul in this sad attempt
An attempt to make my life better
One must suffer to know happiness
Well I have suffered
Stomach churns
Mouth goes dry
What is it that I'm about to do?
What am I doing with my life?
Why must one live to die?

Life/Love is like a dream
Flying up high in the sky
Never to come down.

The days that you are near
I can't think of anything better
Laying in my bed
Two lovers, best friends we are
Dreaming of the day
When you never have to leave
Enjoying, living for the moment
Staring into your eyes
You say the only words needed to be said
"I love you"
Whispered in my ear
"I love you, too"
Whispered back to you
We can't help but smile
Those ***** smiles of those in love
Because we are
Hopelessly, madly in love
And we'd have it no other way
Touches, kisses, words, and looks
With every one, my breath you took
Heart to heart and mind to mind
If only it could be all the time
But, we love and we care
And I would have it no other way.

With you                              Without you
Forever waiting                       Forever lonely
You’re my world                                  Do I have anything?
I made you everything                          Maybe I was wrong
It’s so hard                                         It’s so hard.
                                           Either way
                Tears will be shed
                 Pain is to come
                   Either way
                   It’s so hard.

The crazy comes
The crazy goes
When does it begin?
Nobody knows.

I'm sorry I'm crazy
I'm sorry I lose control
It's like a ticking time bomb
I never know when it's going to blow
Until it does and I cry
And I scream and you try to hide
I'm going to drive you away
It'll be my fault that we leave this place
And that makes me crazier
Because I don't know what to do
Because I'm trying to keep cool
I'm just so tired of dealing with it
Sometimes I wish I could die, too
Just to make it stop
No more tear filled days
No more fearful nights
No more wondering if today will be the day
Just make the pain go away
For everyone around me
I know they see
But, I can't help it
When it takes the best of me
Never knowing when or why
Until the last string is pulled
Then it's do or die
And sometimes I wish it were the latter
Because just when I think I can't get much sadder
I'm proven wrong
I feel the pain and guilt
I wish I had never been built
Because who wants this?

The crazy comes
The crazy goes
When it'll end
Nobody knows.

I know your habits
I know your ways
I could map out your life
For days and days.

That's why I sit here
Watching our show
You know which one
Two shows right in a row.

The one from the one night
You know the one, right?
How could you forget
It was your favorite yet.

So I sit and I watch
Wondering if you are, too
It wasn't too long ago
But, things change...they do.

Are we laughing at the same jokes?
Watching the same show?
We could be and I hope
Now I laugh and sigh
Oh my...

This familiar feeling
Upon the leave of my love
The tears and sadness well
So many tears have already fell
On your t-shirt staining the white
I still cry with you holding me tight
Then when I look in your eyes
I can't help but crack a smile
because I know
And you know

Out at your car
Waiting for you to leave
Stalling with words
Nearly an hour goes passed
A series of hugs and of kisses
The first step is to get in your car
How I wish I were coming with you
Tears well up inside
Then I look at you
I can't help but to crack a smile
Because I know
And you know
You'll be coming again.

To think it could have been over
That's a nightmare I no longer fear
To think we would have lost it all
I'm so glad you're here.

"Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone"
Oh how I used to hate that song
But, now rings with the sound of relief
No more fighting
No more crying
No more you
No more me
No more us
Now more we
With waves of grief I grieve
But, never regret or believe
That it was always me
The safest place was in your arms
I felt no harm
I trusted your word
And I was your sword
But my blade was dulled
And your shield grew weak
Now my heart, you no longer keep
I hope you buy the next one flowers
And I hope you hold her hand
I hope you never forget me
Because I never can
I will never forget the things you did
Both the good and the bad
So I don't repeat the past
It was a good run
But, we just couldn't finish the race
Now rest your weary bones
And I'll sharpen my blade
Until the next one comes again.

Each night it creeps on
The yearning growing stronger
Until I'm not there.

Any words I could write to make you stay
They'd be written on this page
To avoid my night terrors
Of your back walking away from me
Because the things I didn't do
For what I couldn't say
Don't you think there will come a day
When I won't regret
When I'll be okay.

After the high leaves
There's always the crash and burn
Harder than ever.

We were given one heart to find another
So take mine, dear, I can be your other
You can be mine, until the end of time
I'll be yours.

Don't hurt it now
Keep it safe in hand
Right next to yours, that's where it'll be forever more
Right next to me, that's where you'll be forever more.

Dear me
This is my apology
For being who I am today
For being everything
I'm not meant to be

Dear you
I'm sorry that I can't fulfill
The shoes laid out for me to fill
They're just to big to fit my feet
At least for right now.

Dear me
Please hang on to me
Don't let me go just yet
There's still so much to do
Don't cry for me
I'm sorry.

Dear you
Just leave me alone
Can't you see I'm all alone
Its so hard traveling the world by your lonesome
Just let me live
Please have some mercy
Open your eyes and see the pain I'm in.

Dear me
Please stop the pain that I've been feeling
I can't handle
I'm not dealing
I'm not getting on so well these days.

Dear you
I know you try
I know you cry
But, look at me
You think I'm so naive
That's why I'm writhing in misery
That's why I stay silent
And cry.

Dear me
Salvation could be coming soon
So try and hold up your head
I know its easier said
But, try
For me.

I'm happy now
I didn't think
Without you
I could be
Happy.

Now I smile
A real smile
I wonder
Did you do that to me?

Our life we planned
Was never meant
Our fairy tale
Come to an end

So dry your tears
And make believe
Because all that we ever were
Just a dream.

So rest your head
Dream again
Because that's all I ever was
Just a dream.

All the Burning truths
All the burning lies
Which ones do you hide behind?

All along I thought you were there to help me
Little did I know you were the cause of everything
All the tears and all the pain
When I just wanted to take it all away
It damaged so much
Nearly took all of me away
But, now that you're gone
I get to put the pieces back the way they came
No longer shrouded in your shadow
Seeing the sun for the first time in months
Hurts my eyes and makes them tear
What do you expect after a year?
But, the pain will slowly fade
Day and day, it'll get better
That's more than I can say for you
I'm not the only one who needs a mirror
But it's not about you anymore
As it never should have been
Who knew that I was never broken
It was just you telling me your truth
You wanted power to cover the pain
I let you touch my heart, now it's stained
But, without your shadow over me
Finally, I can breathe.

Oh darling,
Your love I could not doubt
Gleaming eye and tender touch
Gentle kiss and loving voice
Knowing I am yours
That is what's nice.

Loving someone is grand
But, knowing you love me back
You love me like no one else can
Though miles apart
By your love I am still touched
That is what's grand.

With every word he speaks
Taking my breath away
His embrace wrapping me with warmth
Keeping me safe
Protecting me from harm.

It's his love I've longed for
So long I've wandered searching
Waiting for a love like this
Not only loving
But, having love in return.

These tears won't stop coming
It's been days and days
I'm drowning
My carpet is wet
The bed is soaked
My eyes are red
Not much can be said
For this sad state I'm in
And yes that's a pun
For I am very sad
Very sad, indeed.

I'm stranded alone
In this strange place I called home
No longer familiar
As still as a stone
But, I need to roam
To the place I feel at home
With you and the others
Not here by myself.

What do you do when the words won't come?
When all that seems to show are the tears?
The tears that come for absolutely nothing
But, feel like absolutely everything?
The tears that make you stay in bed
The tears that make you lose friends
Because you just can't do it.

What do you do when you can't see the reason?
Even when there are so many reasons to see.
Is it lack of comprehension or just lack of sight?
Blind to the reasons because of the dark
Frantically searching for a light to show the warmth
A light to dry the tears that come from nothing
To get me out of bed.

Just what do you do?
What do you do when life doesn't seem like a life?
What do you do when singing a sad song doesn't work?
When putting a smile on becomes such a chore?
When holding back tears through the day makes your throat sore?
What do you do when you don't want to do it anymore?