And I woke from the most deceiving dream.
And I woke with empty,
burning holes inside of me.
And I wasn't the light anymore,
I was just a girl.
Just a girl.
One day I was beautiful.
And the sun grew from my skin.
Or at least you told me so.
Or at least you told me so.
And I smile but it doesn't feel right.
And I don't know if I'm awake, or if,
I’m barely alive.
I just know that one day I was beautiful.
And now I'm just a girl.
Just a girl.

small,
subtle moments of happiness,
lay upon,
your fingers.

they dance,
like the flame of a candle.
like everything around you,
sits quietly,
and stops.

your fingers,
are just like mine.
they both need,
and move,
and create.
the only difference,
their size.

we grasp one another,
like we are in love.
like the wick of the candle will never burn out.
but it won't,
and we are.

so as these small,
subtle moments of happiness,
encase our hands in a lovers knot;
let us be quiet,
and know each other's eyes.

we grew together,
like trees that held hands.
and one night we danced,
and you kissed me like you loved me.
and you did,
you really did.
but decisions had to be made,
and our feet took us in opposite directions,
though our hearts were left behind.
and now our lives grow apart,
like broken trees.
and i still remember the night we danced,
and you kissed me like you loved me.
and you did,
you really did.
but sometimes that isn't enough.
sometimes you have to keep dancing,
and keep kissing,
otherwise we leave,
and our hearts,
are left behind.

A coffee stain lies on the table reminding me of the time I got sick of coffee and threw it at the wall
it’s faded scratched ring leaving a scent of people are not always what you think they are at all
The tarp over my window that broke at least a month ago now let’s in the cold that winter brings
I remember me and Johnny smashed it playing ball and sometimes I almost forget these things
In the morning when my toast comes up from the toaster and leaves it’s crumbs behind I smile
Because not waking up to breakfast in bed from him reminds me good things only last a while
Well the rain came through the blue tarp today and a droplet landed in my eye startling me
And the footprints on my doorstep have faded without my noticing
The summers I spent down by the river are long gone and Shelley doesn’t ever call anymore
Sometimes I press my small fingers to the buttons on my phone then I wonder what I’m doing it for
At night when I look up at the three stars from my old balcony I know that they’ve never changed
It gives me hope that one day maybe I will wake up and find that my past and present are the same

Pulled through the mud,
kicked to the ground.
But I thank you, for this.
I thank you for what I've found.
Learning through experience,
and growing deep like a tree.
I've found strength in the fall,
that no longer consumes me.
As tall as ten feet,
but never expecting.
I take my first steps,
and find the ones i've been neglecting.
My roots have grown intricate,
streaked with both pleasure and pain.
Their ends meet at my hands,
and I find myself with a name.

I fold,
quietly.
And open,
to your smile.
You,
talk softly,
and open me,
further.
My leaves,
they grow.
Shaping themselves,
around you.
Everything was Brown,
once.
But now,
Yellow is everywhere.
It's in,
my roots.
And it's,
in you.
This Spring,
is full of life.
As am I.
As are you.
I fold,
quietly.
And open,
to your smile.