Aren't mirrors amazing
You can look in and see your surroundings
We don't all see the same things
When I look in I see beautiful me
I see a girl with long hair
and brings smiles where every she is seen
she changes the room
She looks amazing with her curly hair
but she always straightens it
I think the mirror told her to
But her hair looks pretty straightened too
She always has killer clothes even though they aren't name brand
but they don't have to be
she looks amazing in jeans
if there from walmart or aberocrombie
She has 297 followers on twitter
that have never heard her talk
she is always on her phone
and never finds time for home
she doesn't talk in real life
not that much
online is her whole life
maybe online is changing her view
maybe if she puts the phone down
she will realize she is beautiful to
when she is sad about how she is fat
It brings a smile to m face
because she doesn't realize how great
she is
I hope one day she can take the blind fold down
and she will finally realize
she isn't the ugliest girl in town

Strong independent
This we all want to be
To bad this world leaves us
Depressed insecure and lonely
Is there any one truly happy
Is there such a thing
How can i hope for a life without misery
When pain is in every note the bird sings
In every breath a child takes
In between the empty i love yous
The meaningless i do's
Why do we even pretend we are happy
We all know it's not true
We are all slowly dieing
And none of us know what to do

I went in headfirst, never thinking about who what I said hurt
In what verse, my mom probably got it the worst, the brunt of it
But as stubborn as we are, did I take it too far, "Cleaning Out My Closet"
And all them other songs, but regardless I don't hate you
Cause ma, you're still beautiful to me, cause you're my mom
Though far be it for you to be too calm, our house was Vietnam
Desert Storm and both of us put together could form an atomic bomb
Equivalent to Chemical Warfare and forever we could drag this on and on
But, agree to disagree, that gift for me up under the Christmas tree
Don't mean nothing to me, you're kicking me out? It's 15 degrees and
It's Christmas Eve, "Little *****, just leave," ma, let me grab my  coat
Anything to have each other's goats, why we always at each others throats
Especially when dad, he broke us both, we're in the same boat
You'd think that'd make us close, further away it drove us, but together
Headlights shine, and a car full of belongings
Still got a ways to go back to grandma's house, it's straight up the road
And I was the man of the house, the oldest, so my shoulders carried
The weight of the load, then Nate got taken away by the state at 8-years-old
And that's when I realized you were sick and it wasn't fixable or changeable
And to this day we remain estranged and I hate it though
-Eminem

Don't you ever want the world to freeze

So this one moment

can last forever

If saving the person I love makes me a monster



so be it

There is a monster inside of me
and he doesnt want to eat
forces me to turn away every meal
want to throw up at every piece of food i see
He only feast on pain
from my freinds and enemies
Hes also hurting me
but I;m just a puppet for his insanity
theres a monster inside me
and he wont go away
whispers in my ears
tells me no  one wants to stay
tell me im worthless
fat,and ugly
so I wont eay until he thinks im skinny
there is a monster inside and hes always mad
makes me wanna scream
cutting portals in my skin
so he can get out of me
but he shys from daylight
stays with me
at least he will never leave
keeps me company
I have a monster inside of me
and i wont let him leave
we are freinds now
no matter how that seems
He doesnt care what people think
and niether do it
me and my monster
will be destroying things
for eternity

What about me?
It seems as if everyone keeps moving
and all I am doing is watching
realizing I cant lift my feet

He's beautiful
A lot of my friends disagreed
Said why **** a guy who isn't ****
But I don't see him that way
I guess you could say "love makes you blind"
Though I'm not in love, and I can see just fine
But I miss him
Obviously
Or else I wouldn't be in my room right now crying about leaving
But I made a choice
A decision
That no matter what happens I wasn't happy with him
I'm gonna look back and remeber the hard times too
I  will remeber the times the left me
And the times he broke me
When he toyed with my sanity
Just to watch me squirm
Blackmailed that he would tell my family
If I didn't stay with him longer
Our relationship was complicated
But he did call me pretty
Or beautiful
I was his little ray of sunshine
And his diamond in the rough
He sang to me on the good days
And hugged me when I was having a bad one
He invited me out with his friends
When none of his other girls could come
He cared for me
More than most people do
And I needed that
I wanted that
And your crazy if you call that a abuse
maybe I couldn't see it
Maybe I still can't see it
But I made a choice
A decision
That no matter what happens I wasn't happy with him
I will get over it
And find somone new
Just maybe they will love me
As much as he use to

Music is a language only some can speak
When a song comes on and you get out of you seat
When the strum of a violin means more the the words he sings
Music is amazing
Words strike the mind
but music strikes the heart
Music can tear your world apart
Then put it back together
Music tells a story
a story only some can hear
Music can sway you
and destroy all of your fear
Music is amazing
Music is always near

My feelings dont matter to  you mom
that was the last thing my baby said to me
I was so mad I didn't even say sorry
I knew I was right and she was wrong
but I wish my baby didn't die mad at me
I know if she was here she would tell me she loved me  
but she would say it sarcastically
I'm just not sure what that means
All I want to do Is tell my baby I'm sorry
I just wish she died happy

I'm friends with the kids who smoke cigarettes
Instead of marijuana
The ones who drink vodak
instead of margaritas
The kids who wear all black
And pick pocket lighters
The ones who find home under bridges
And Mark them with graffiti
I'm friends with the kids who go to jail for joy riding thier parents Jeep
And not for getting into fights
We don't sleep at night
But instead we ride
Midnight fries at McDonald's
And 3am confessions
I'm friends with the weirdos
The druggies
The kids who listen to halsey
Before we listen to fetty
The kids who go to prom
Just to sneak out the back
And you may hate us
But we don't care
Because I'm friends with the people who are free
I'm friends with people who are happy

I was born
4. I woke up this morning
3. I survived turning 13
2. I wrote my first long poem called Copy Cat  
1. I became saved

When I was 5
My mom had a car accident
shes disabled to this day

From that age on I had to help her everyday
and now
its still the same

My father gets angry
he screams
he yells
he pushes
he throws
he pins

I have a little sister
I make sure my dad doesnt hurt her
to the extent that he has hurt me

My methods can be shady
If she is doing something that will get her in trouble
I do something worse

It keeps her from getting hurt

I use to cry a lot
about my life

My dad use to scream at me to stop crying
that it wasnt right

I would right sorry a million times
and he would throw away the paper

I would do whatever he wanted
just for that nod of approval

and he wouldnt give me anything

all A's on my report card
taken care of my sister
and my mom

cooking
cleaning

No thank you

"It's your job to do that, why would I thank you for it?"

Then I would cry
and he would scream
I would say sorry
He wouldnt acknoledge me
I would do more
he wouldnt say thank you

and this went on and on

until

I stopped crying
I stopped trying
I stopped feeling
I put on a mask when I was 7 years old

I pretended to be something im not
when I didnt even know who i was

I stopped feeling
and became the monster I am today

Last year my mom died
and it opened up my eyes
and I fell this burning inside for the man who killed her
What gave him the right
to take my mothers life
he doesn't have the authority to do that
who is going to teach me all those things
my mother was suppose to have taught
why does he get to choose if i have a mother or not
It was late at night
the man who killed her was texting 'I love you' to his wife
and when he looked down to text this to her
his car didn't even have time to swerve
and my mom was pushing me across the street
because our bible study ran late that week
and she saw the car coming fast
she didn't even have time to reflect her past
because as soon as she saw him
she pushed my stroller out of the way
and that is why my mom isn't here today

Anyone can write a deep poem
I can write about sucide
or texting while you drive
this thought just came to my mind
because one of my friends
new to this site
she wrote a poem that got 17 likes
and I was jealous
because I cant write as good as her
I really wish I could
because I want that
I want people to like my poems
and appreciate me
like they do her
to top it off
she is younger than me
and it makes me feel
like I can't write poetry
and then I thought of stoping
I mean what is the point of writing
if your writing
isn't the best
what is the point of joining this contest if your gonna lose
what is the point of that
I really want to end this poem on a high note
talk about how I changed my mind and I will gloat
I just don't feel like it
I feel like my poems
aren't good enough
that i should change how i write
that my poems should be more like stories
and not conversations with my readers
some of you might be sayin " I cant believe her"
because you think I'm doing this to get people to tell me
my writing is great
but Im not
I don't wanna be put on the spot
I don't wanna make you say
Your writing is great
you don't have to say anything
I just wanted to tell you how I feel
I just wanted to tell you what I thought about my poetry

There was this  girl named bella
she was about 12 and she was saved
it was heroes day at school
and she didn't want to look like a fool
so instead of writing about her real hero
she wrote about her dad
and that made everyone glad
but what she didn't realize
there was some thing
he was a dork I admit
but what wasn't afriad to tell you what he thinks
so when he got up he said
"my hero is jesus
because he saved me"
then bella's friends started laughing
and so did she
but inside she wished she had the guts
to go up on stage and talk about Jesus's love
like he

Never once did I say I love you
the words always rose in the back of my throat
but never passed through my lips
something about them just didn't fit
It seemed, cheasy
almost fake
as if saying I loved her
would put my life at stake,
and thinking about it,
it probably would
I didn't know her that well
and we weren't exactly dating
in fact,
she probably didn't even like me
but I did, indeed
love her
but never once did the words leave my lips
because I learned from pass experiences
that when you say it
everything from there goes down hill
so never once did I say I love you
and I don't regret it
because I lost her either way
but this way I have nothing to miss

When she opens her eyes
she doesn't just see the night skies
she sees her mom looking down on her

you know her life wasn't that great
she didn't have everything on a golden plate but
at least she had that

her mom didn't call her fat
or yell at her for this and that
and even though her mom is far away
she knows she looks down on her everyday

So when she opens her eyes
she doesn't just see the night skies
she sees her mom looking down on her
she is looking right into her mothers eye

she is an amzing young girl
she has talent greater than she knows
and yet she wont let it all show
you see she doesnt want people to know how shes feeling
she doesnt say stufff to revealing
or she never even talks about herself
she writes about others and tries to help
but the girl who needs the most help is the girl staring back at you through the mirror
she wants to be set free
but you hide her behind things
you don't want people to see
that person who i believe
is living inside
and if nina just opened her eyes
maybe she would see
that a lot of other people are going through the same thing
and maybe she would actual tell someone like me who actual would listen if she told me how she was feeling
she needs to set herself free

No one listens to me
My whole life has been listening
To people complaining
but no one knows the troubles I'm facing
Because no one hears me
When I try to speak
All I am is someone to lean on
But no one is ever there to hold on to me
When I fall
I always have to stand tall
Even when I'm broken
So people lean on me
Not knowing I'm the one who is really hurting

I wonder if they remeber me
if im a force to be reckoned with
if when I speak I change atmospheres
or does no one really care?

Do I fill people with emotions
and do I cause a change
Am I someone people are scared to lose?
or someone no one wants to gain

I have lived my life
not wanting to have these questions answered
I have just always been so scared
that I have to come to terms with being normal

again

When I was a kid I loved stories
I used to run home from school
to hear my mom tell them to me
just to run back and share the news with my fellow classmates the next day

When I was a kid
I used to throw rocks and pebbles at trees and rocks
Into lakes and logs
just to prove i could make it

When I was a kid
I was special
not because of something i did
but because I believed I was

Now that i am older I hate stories
because all they are are cruel reminders that my life will never be that perfect
cruel reminders that i will never have a right mind
cruel reminders that i am the monster in the story
and the heroes never try to save me from myself

Now that i am older I don't throw rocks
Because no matter how hard i throw
how amazing i can aim
there will always be that one target i cant hit
that one place i always miss
and if that place always exists
what is the point of trying

Now that I am older
I am nothing
Not because i dont have talent or gifts
But because I believe I am

Judging me?
really
silently hating on all I do as if I can't tell your watching me
seriously?

I know your only 15
honestly your immaturity surpasses every other trait I have ever seen
but really?

Now this *****
acting like she knows me
becoming best friends with the one person who still loves me
turning people against me
being ******* perfect
jealousy is a *****
and me feeling this for you
is ******* hell
especially now that you left me
and I don't care honestly
I'm getting over that
but this *****
is ******* annoying

I hate my life

I want everything that is right

to go wrong

They wanted to Ask me what it felt like to not have anything left

and all i was

was upset

I dont want my problems to go away

I dont want to be saved

I like being lost in a dark maze

then i dont


have to see the light of day

and maybe that makes me crazy

but i dont wanna be ok

I need to remeber what it felt like to have a blade run across my skin

I need to remeber the feeling of relief when the pain starts

I need to remeber the joy I get when I pick up the knife

I want to know the feeling I get if i burn my skin

I want to know if it feels better or worse than the knife

I need to do it one more time

People always tell me what I should be
They tell me that I should just be me
but they have an idea of what I should be
I like a lot of things other people like
that doesn't mean I'm not original
I am surrounded by people just like me
so of course we aren't gonna see things differently
and yes we finish our sentences
and I was like this before I met them
I was blessed to be friends them
but now people say I am trying to copy
but all I did was friend people like me
People who liked the same things
and our friendship is amazing
then you come along
all by your self
screaming your original like no one else
and so am I
but I found people I can relate to
I want you to too
because being original is great
but having no friends is not
saying your original and don't give talking to people a second thought
Your clothes aren't comfortable
Your shoes don't fit right
so you are trying to be original and thats not right
I would like to suggest a new saying
instead of saying lets be original
i think we should say
be yourself and path your own way
You can be yourself if the people around you are like you or not
It doesn't matter if your 'original'
you know  there is not that many bands
someone is gonna like the same band as you
that doesn't me your not original
that is just a person you can relate to
so people stop trying to be original
try to be yourself
because i don't think it matters if your like someone else

He kisses me
Our little secrets
He touches me
Or little secret
He loves me
Our little secret
He drugged me
Our little secret
He keeps me
Our little secret
I can't scream
Our little secret
I can't breathe
Our little secret
You're chocking me
Our little secret
He killed me
*Our little secret

Every thing hurts me
It kills my soul every time I speak
I open my eyes but I can't see
The light screams at me
Stop please
I can't think
I can't be
I don't want to try
I'm gonna die
I don't wanna fly
I want to sink
Drown in a sea of pain
Where nothing can hurt me
No thing can hurt me
Everything hurts me
Everything hurts me
It hurts to be
I'm dieing on the inside
And this pain is killing me