How am I here again
How did I let my self slip this low
Feel for somone again
I guess I just have a bad taste in men
I need them abusive and ****
Treat me like your ***** *****
And I'll be begging for more
**** me over
And you couldn't keep me away
I'm trying not to look at your text
But I want to know what you have to say
This cycle of destruction
Keeping me at bay
Telling myself that it will all be okay
But it won't be
And I'm not
Okay

I feel like a roller coaster
I go through all of these ups and downs
and I always end up where i started from

Hearts don't lie
But why do I feel as if none of my emotions are true?
Why don't I believe the 'love' I feel for you?
I should hate you
With every fiber of my body I should despise you
Want to rip your sanity to shreds
And keep your heart with the others I've broken
But I can't
Because I need you to be happy
And I hate it
Cause without you I feel as if I'm nothing
And your moving on to better things
And I'm trying to smile for you
But the pain inside me is more than I can control
I'm sorry
But I hate you right now
And I also love you at the same time
So just give me a minute
To blame myself for this wrong
and figure out how to make it right

I can't sleep
To many thoughts in my head
You block me so i have messages permanently unread
I wonder what you said
No i don't want you back
I just want it to be over
To erase you from my momery
And have a new journey
I want to be free
But these chains are hard to break
And they wrap back around me every time i see your face
But it's not sadness i am feeling
It's not want that i have
Its not regret for not knowing you
And not pain from memories of what we had
I can't explain it
When i see you its more like i don't feel
Like im back in that place when i first  met you
When i didn't have my own tears
And i can't sleep
Because this not feeling
Is filling my lungs the way you use to
Strangling me from inside like your words did
Making me shake like the pain you dished
Its been 6 months since we stopped talking
And i still
Can't
Sleep

Don't you hate it when you have faith in someone
and they let you down



like when you think they aren't horrible people
and it turns out
they don't have a good side?





well then your gonna hate me

Poemss left unwritten
Words unspoken
I cant keep goin
On like this
You would think i could take hint
My whole life that is all i have given
You followed my trail of bed crumbs
But i cant find yours
I dont want this to be a chore
I dont mean to be a bore
I want you to tell me more
Please that's all i ask
Share with me
As i did with you
At this point im running out of trails
I dont know what to do

Hold on to me
As we treat carefully
Through our feelings
I know I say I don't
And I know I push you away
But it's because I love you baby
I love you and I don't want to hurt you
Like I did to her

You hurt me
but I don't wanna hurt you
you pushed me down
while I was trying to help you up
you broke me
when all I was trying to do was put you back together
I learned something about people
when you make it to the top of the hill and you try to help them up
all they want to is push you down
but I will still try to help
because one day they will realize
by pushing me down
they are only hurting themselves

Im the victim of imperfection
The definition of needy
The essence of annoying
And the meaning of depressing

Im not wanted
Needed
Or asked for
This world doesnt fit me
And Loving me is a chore

I am broken
Injured
Cracked
But content at the same time
Plauged with a ****** up state of mind
And the lie that "I'm fine"

I'm ****** up
Annoying
And not of sound mind

So who would ever love me
Im just wasting everyones time

I can't sleep
I'm crying to much

I'm sorry I'm awake right now
I fully regret all of my actions that lead me here
Pacing through my room at 2 or 3 in the morning
Worrying about a girl that doesn't love me
A test I'm not gonna pass
And a God I'm not sure is real anymore
I fully regret being gay
Being an abomination
A stain on this precious earth
I regret getting drunk
Having ***
Getting high
I regret the lies
But most of all I regret the pain
The struggle I put myself and others through
I regret who I was
Who I am
And whatever pile of disappointment  I  will turn out to be
I regret writing this to you
But I wanted to say I'm sorrowful
Because of what I've done to you
And what I will do

Heroes always look brighter

when they are surrounded by darkness

I want






I dont know what I want
But I need
I need you

Can't sleep
Can't breathe
Your the only one I need
Heal me
Be me remedy
Mend my broken heart when you speak
Make me feel like the pain is nothing
I can't sleep
I can't breathe
Your the only one I need
Help me
Please

I'm really sad right now
But I have no reason to be

Im really anxious right now
And I have no reason to be

Im really craving her right now
And I have no reason to be

I'm alive right now
And I have no reason to be

Honestly
this is no more than me just getting over you
No more than me just contemplating
And not understand what logic I used
Back when I use to need you

I think it might be over
Even though I haven't been able to be sober
Even though I havent been able to stay focused
Even though I'm bipolar as *
And running out of luck

I think it might be over
Because throughout all this
I havent thought of you
Or what you use to do
I haven't craved your abuse

So I think it might be over
I think it might be done
I no longer dream of our  friendship
Or the mirage of 'love'
And when i see you
I honestly don't give a **

So I hink this might be over
I think
I'm done

When the princess got home the King was furious. His screams echoed throughout the kingdom. She broke down and told him about her peasant boy. The King was appalled, “HE IS A MONSTER! HE IS NOTHING COMPARED TO YOUR EVERYTHING!” They were forbidden to speak ever again. When the princess didn't arrive, the peasant boy worried so he went to her room. He saw her screamed at by the furious king and he waited till night to go after his beautiful princess. When night soon came the boy threw pebbles at her window, “My fair princess! Please come down.” He stayed there all night. It wasn't till the sun rose that he lost hope. He slowly made his way back to his barn where he would always remember the night the princess graced his home.

My muse went out to **** my demons
and left me defenseless against the empty
I am hollow almost indefinetly
and I can't mention it
I can't figuratively convey what I am feeling
to get it out
its all stuck inside
until my muse comes back and shows me how
you see I'm useless without her
but she had to go save me
she went to battle my depression
and now I don't feel anything
words lie on my lips
and never really fit into a melody
my muse went off to go **** my demons
but this writers block is killing me

People always tell me what I should be
They tell me that I should just be me
but they have an idea of what I should be
I like a lot of things other people like
that doesn't mean I'm not original
I am surrounded by people just like me
so of course we aren't gonna see things differently
and yes we finish our sentences
and I was like this before I met them
I was blessed to be friends them
but now people say I am trying to copy
but all I did was friend people like me
People who liked the same things
and our friendship is amazing
then you come along
all by your self
screaming your original like no one else
and so am I
but I found people I can relate to
I want you to too
because being original is great
but having no friends is not
saying your original and don't give talking to people a second thought
Your clothes aren't comfortable
Your shoes don't fit right
so you are trying to be original and thats not right
I would like to suggest a new saying
instead of saying lets be original
i think we should say
be yourself and path your own way
You can be yourself if the people around you are like you or not
It doesn't matter if your 'original'
you know  there is not that many bands
someone is gonna like the same band as you
that doesn't me your not original
that is just a person you can relate to
so people stop trying to be original
try to be yourself
because i don't think it matters if your like someone else

I'm sitting here

Can't focus

Can't think

My hands are shaking

And yet everyone is looking at me to be strong

No crying

Even though my world is fallen apart

No being scared

Nervous

Or being weak

I have to be strong

Stress is eating me alive

Yet I have to act as if it's all good

Head killing me

But it doesn't deserve pain killers

Hunger

But I can't eat

And everyone wants me

To be strong enough for everyone else

And right now

Im about to start shaking

Screaming

Crying

Weeping

But I can't

Because I have to be strong

And everyone wants to know why I'm not smiling

My secrets eat at my soul
at my gut

screaming
ringing in my ears
they want to see the world

and yet I don't want the world to see them

My secrets
I hold them close
and yet the want to go far

My secrets
I don't want anyone to know
and yet people i love always find out

My secrets
I don't want to let them out

My secrets

My secrets

If life is so short why do we do so many things we don’t like
and like so many things we don’t do?
Why don't we take a chance and do what we can
to be more you
people
you aren't opening the doors God puts in your path
you aren't making your time here on earth last
you are just living day to day
so you can support a kid who will grow up ad do the same thing
people you aren't listening
man up
become something
because your clock is ticking
live to the fullest before
your clock stop ringing

Time goes really fast
dont waste it worrying about me

I don't recognize me
I look in my reflection
Read my thoughts on hello poetry
Who is she?
I don't recognize me
Who am I changing into now?

Why pretend you don't know me
Why pretend at all
You saved more than my life
You know it's true
You gave me me back
Showed me love to
Stayed with me  no matter what I do
Kept me safe with you
Showed me another page
Told me life isn't a game
Made sure I stay
You made me happy
For as long as it last
Why pretend?
You know you saved me

Days on repeat
the people I see
The songs I sing
The fake smiles people give when they see me
Years on repeat
Birthdays come and go
X's on a calendar
tics and docs from a clock
Then he came along
He changed my view
Opened a door to something new
With new songs
and things to do
Those X's on my calendar
Mark all the fun days I have had with you
Then my fairy tale came to and end
We a group of kids decided to drive
while texting their friends
and now my life is on repeat again.

The sun is rising

the clock is ticking

but you still lay your head like a lamb on a cloud

peacfully

almost as if the. Ti
time  passing. Means  nothing to you

which is ridiculous because you can't  ever be late

but you prove me wrong because right now

you are peaceful

She paints a lovely picture
But this art work has a twist
The paint brush is a razor
And the canvas is her wrist

She doesnt see her own beauty

She doesnt see the perfection in her stride

She doesnt see the plan for her life

She doesnt see how many people would cry if she was gone

She doesnt see me

I'm not friends with her

sadly

I only met her twice

and maybe if i didnt look at her apperance

and if i looked at her eyes

instead of her eyes shadow i would of seen

maybe if i practiced what i preached i would of noticed something

maybe if i wasnt stupid enough

to judge her on her clothes

I would of seen the pain

she was trying to hide

maybe if i didnt spend as much time critecing her lifestyle

I could of seen what her life was like at home

maybe instead of throwing her away

I could of looked in her eyes

Maybe if i wasnt so stupid

I could of seen

the one thing we both hide perfectly

What would I do without your smart mouth
drawing me in and you kicking me out
got my head spinning
no kidding
I can't pin you down
my heads under water
but I'm breathing fine
your crazy
and I'm out of my mind
cuz all of me
loves all of you
loves your curves and all your edges
all your perfect imperfections
give your all to me
I'll give my all to you

Where have you been all my life
smoking by a river side
getting high
spending the hours on your maac laptop
tweeting about how your family is just getting byw

Where have you been all my life
Trying to clean up the messes other have made
Making a path for your brothers or sisters to take
trying to achieve fame

Where have you been all my life
Looking up **** on internet sites
texting pictures to a girl you just met
hoping that the next one willl be the best
and you will finally have a chance to get rest
becuase nothing is fulling enough to keep you from waking up at night
hoping that was the last time

Where have i been all your life

i have been dieing

Sticks and stones are ******* bones
they can rip your life apart
Words can sting like anything
But silence breaks the heart.

What about me?
It seems as if everyone keeps moving
and all I am doing is watching
realizing I cant lift my feet

I am looking around this car

at my mom

my sister

my father

and no matter how much I complain

I am realizing how much I really love my family

Am I wrong
but didnt i care about things
I can remeber crying
when my dad dropped my pet fish in the sink

Am I wrong
but didnt i feel things
I remeber laughing
and crying
and hoping

Am I wrong
but didnt you love me
I could remeber your face when you saw me
your eyes said more than your mouth

Am I wrong
but didnt I love you

Am I wrong
but doesnt this situation hurt you too

Am I wrong
but arent you thinking about me like i think about you

Am I wrong

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Would you be old enough to drive a car
old enough to sit in a bar
or would you simply be young
not caring about a thing
chasing imaginary butterflies
into an imaginary stream
would you be who you pretend to be
would you be over 30
would your back still be hurting or is it all an illusion
so I want you to come to a conclusion
from what you know so far
how old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?