My secrets eat at my soul
at my gut

screaming
ringing in my ears
they want to see the world

and yet I don't want the world to see them

My secrets
I hold them close
and yet the want to go far

My secrets
I don't want anyone to know
and yet people i love always find out

My secrets
I don't want to let them out

My secrets

My secrets

I want






I dont know what I want
But I need
I need you

People always tell me what I should be
They tell me that I should just be me
but they have an idea of what I should be
I like a lot of things other people like
that doesn't mean I'm not original
I am surrounded by people just like me
so of course we aren't gonna see things differently
and yes we finish our sentences
and I was like this before I met them
I was blessed to be friends them
but now people say I am trying to copy
but all I did was friend people like me
People who liked the same things
and our friendship is amazing
then you come along
all by your self
screaming your original like no one else
and so am I
but I found people I can relate to
I want you to too
because being original is great
but having no friends is not
saying your original and don't give talking to people a second thought
Your clothes aren't comfortable
Your shoes don't fit right
so you are trying to be original and thats not right
I would like to suggest a new saying
instead of saying lets be original
i think we should say
be yourself and path your own way
You can be yourself if the people around you are like you or not
It doesn't matter if your 'original'
you know  there is not that many bands
someone is gonna like the same band as you
that doesn't me your not original
that is just a person you can relate to
so people stop trying to be original
try to be yourself
because i don't think it matters if your like someone else

Time goes really fast
dont waste it worrying about me

Days on repeat
the people I see
The songs I sing
The fake smiles people give when they see me
Years on repeat
Birthdays come and go
X's on a calendar
tics and docs from a clock
Then he came along
He changed my view
Opened a door to something new
With new songs
and things to do
Those X's on my calendar
Mark all the fun days I have had with you
Then my fairy tale came to and end
We a group of kids decided to drive
while texting their friends
and now my life is on repeat again.

Im the victim of imperfection
The definition of needy
The essence of annoying
And the meaning of depressing

Im not wanted
Needed
Or asked for
This world doesnt fit me
And Loving me is a chore

I am broken
Injured
Cracked
But content at the same time
Plauged with a ****** up state of mind
And the lie that "I'm fine"

I'm ****** up
Annoying
And not of sound mind

So who would ever love me
Im just wasting everyones time

Can't sleep
Can't breathe
Your the only one I need
Heal me
Be me remedy
Mend my broken heart when you speak
Make me feel like the pain is nothing
I can't sleep
I can't breathe
Your the only one I need
Help me
Please

Why pretend you don't know me
Why pretend at all
You saved more than my life
You know it's true
You gave me me back
Showed me love to
Stayed with me  no matter what I do
Kept me safe with you
Showed me another page
Told me life isn't a game
Made sure I stay
You made me happy
For as long as it last
Why pretend?
You know you saved me

you're crippilingly insecure

behind a facade of control

you are as sad as you say
=
i hope you don't die

but you need to know that hate is not more powerful than love.

He's the reason I flinch
Because when I'm with him he doesn't hesitate when hitting me
When you move to fast all I see is his fist

He's the reason I say sorry so much
Because he always made me apologize for everything I was
Everything I am And everything I will be

He's the reason I hesitate when saying love you
Why I can't trust like I want to
And why the people around me think I hate them for loving me

But maybe one day I won't flinch anymore
I won't say sorry as compulsively
And I'll be able to say I love you
To the people I trust

Maybe one day
I'll unlearn all the lessons he taught me
I'll forget how I loved when he hurt me
And move on

Maybe one day
I'll be happy

I'm sitting here

Can't focus

Can't think

My hands are shaking

And yet everyone is looking at me to be strong

No crying

Even though my world is fallen apart

No being scared

Nervous

Or being weak

I have to be strong

Stress is eating me alive

Yet I have to act as if it's all good

Head killing me

But it doesn't deserve pain killers

Hunger

But I can't eat

And everyone wants me

To be strong enough for everyone else

And right now

Im about to start shaking

Screaming

Crying

Weeping

But I can't

Because I have to be strong

And everyone wants to know why I'm not smiling

Sticks and stones are ******* bones
they can rip your life apart
Words can sting like anything
But silence breaks the heart.

Heroes always look brighter

when they are surrounded by darkness

I can't sleep
I'm crying to much

How am I here again
How did I let my self slip this low
Feel for somone again
I guess I just have a bad taste in men
I need them abusive and ****
Treat me like your ***** *****
And I'll be begging for more
**** me over
And you couldn't keep me away
I'm trying not to look at your text
But I want to know what you have to say
This cycle of destruction
Keeping me at bay
Telling myself that it will all be okay
But it won't be
And I'm not
Okay

Hold on to me
As we treat carefully
Through our feelings
I know I say I don't
And I know I push you away
But it's because I love you baby
I love you and I don't want to hurt you
Like I did to her

I can’t lose anymore
My heart can’t take being broken further
I am barely holding myself together
And i know how devastating  it is when my heart is torn

But I have a feeling the second time will be worse
Because I opened myself to **** I knew would hurt
Because I thought you loved me more then her
But now you can’t even mutter those three words

I feel my heart being torn
When I let my walls down so you could feel more
And told myself you deserved the love even if it made me hurt
But I never thought a day would come you wouldn’t want it anymore

I took the best parts of me and gave them to you
I offered my most precious memories
And displayed my most sacred thoughts too
But you didn’t want to hear anymore

As if The best parts of me
Still aren’t worth a second glance from you
And now I don’t know what to do

Because I can’t lose anymore
I know how devastating it will be when my heart is torn
I don’t wanna go on any further
Because then I won’t have **** to live for

I can’t lose anymore
I don’t know what I will do if I lose anymore

Im tired
of being tired

When the princess got home the King was furious. His screams echoed throughout the kingdom. She broke down and told him about her peasant boy. The King was appalled, “HE IS A MONSTER! HE IS NOTHING COMPARED TO YOUR EVERYTHING!” They were forbidden to speak ever again. When the princess didn't arrive, the peasant boy worried so he went to her room. He saw her screamed at by the furious king and he waited till night to go after his beautiful princess. When night soon came the boy threw pebbles at her window, “My fair princess! Please come down.” He stayed there all night. It wasn't till the sun rose that he lost hope. He slowly made his way back to his barn where he would always remember the night the princess graced his home.

Honestly
this is no more than me just getting over you
No more than me just contemplating
And not understand what logic I used
Back when I use to need you

I think it might be over
Even though I haven't been able to be sober
Even though I havent been able to stay focused
Even though I'm bipolar as *
And running out of luck

I think it might be over
Because throughout all this
I havent thought of you
Or what you use to do
I haven't craved your abuse

So I think it might be over
I think it might be done
I no longer dream of our  friendship
Or the mirage of 'love'
And when i see you
I honestly don't give a **

So I hink this might be over
I think
I'm done

I don't recognize me
I look in my reflection
Read my thoughts on hello poetry
Who is she?
I don't recognize me
Who am I changing into now?

The real reason I don't go to the doctors about my mental health, is because I'm scared they will tell me nothing is wrong.

There was this girl that I once knew
she was happy
she would laugh at nothing
and she would laugh sincerly
and she always loved tickling
she would sit outside in the snow
just to watch the snow flakes fall
she didnt want to get away at all
she was happy

A girl that I once knew
was where she was meant to be
she was still in her element
she didnt want to be
anyone else
but she

A girl that I once knew
Had dreams
she would imagine the most amazing things
and actually had a couple happen and made people realize
she was amazing

A Girl that I once knew
use to stare back at me in the mirror
now all i can see
is her shaking her head disapointed in me
all i can feel is her gaze telling me im lost now
that im not anything

That girl that you once knew
Is no longer inside of me

Hearts don't lie
But why do I feel as if none of my emotions are true?
Why don't I believe the 'love' I feel for you?
I should hate you
With every fiber of my body I should despise you
Want to rip your sanity to shreds
And keep your heart with the others I've broken
But I can't
Because I need you to be happy
And I hate it
Cause without you I feel as if I'm nothing
And your moving on to better things
And I'm trying to smile for you
But the pain inside me is more than I can control
I'm sorry
But I hate you right now
And I also love you at the same time
So just give me a minute
To blame myself for this wrong
and figure out how to make it right

Every thing hurts me
It kills my soul every time I speak
I open my eyes but I can't see
The light screams at me
Stop please
I can't think
I can't be
I don't want to try
I'm gonna die
I don't wanna fly
I want to sink
Drown in a sea of pain
Where nothing can hurt me
No thing can hurt me
Everything hurts me
Everything hurts me
It hurts to be
I'm dieing on the inside
And this pain is killing me

The thrill of being in your arms
The electricity of your skin
Being close to mine
Closer


Closer
Close

The rush of being with her
The loss of time

The sun sets

The wake of realizing
This will never be the same

The pain in her face
When you say you won't raise a babe
"Just **** it, what would you do with a child anyway?"

The guilt that eats you from the inside
To this day

All because one night impulse had it's way

Aren't mirrors amazing
You can look in and see your surroundings
We don't all see the same things
When I look in I see beautiful me
I see a girl with long hair
and brings smiles where every she is seen
she changes the room
She looks amazing with her curly hair
but she always straightens it
I think the mirror told her to
But her hair looks pretty straightened too
She always has killer clothes even though they aren't name brand
but they don't have to be
she looks amazing in jeans
if there from walmart or aberocrombie
She has 297 followers on twitter
that have never heard her talk
she is always on her phone
and never finds time for home
she doesn't talk in real life
not that much
online is her whole life
maybe online is changing her view
maybe if she puts the phone down
she will realize she is beautiful to
when she is sad about how she is fat
It brings a smile to m face
because she doesn't realize how great
she is
I hope one day she can take the blind fold down
and she will finally realize
she isn't the ugliest girl in town

If saving the person I love makes me a monster



so be it

It's hard to pretend
To keep the smile pasted on
To try to smile with my eyes

It's hard
To give all yourself away
And get nothing in return

It's hard
To lose everything
And be expected to give more

It's hard
To be awake at 3 in the morning
And wonder why your heart hurts

It's hard
To be told you don't know anything
That you're too young to understand

It's hard
To see whats happening
But live life like your missing something

It's hard
To give them everything
But they all claim "no one cares about me"

It's hard
To live with the realization that your nothing
Then be told you where wrong

It's hard
To be in love with broken things
And always getting cut in the process

It's hard
To breathe
And to wake up daily

It's hard
To be

My muse went out to **** my demons
and left me defenseless against the empty
I am hollow almost indefinetly
and I can't mention it
I can't figuratively convey what I am feeling
to get it out
its all stuck inside
until my muse comes back and shows me how
you see I'm useless without her
but she had to go save me
she went to battle my depression
and now I don't feel anything
words lie on my lips
and never really fit into a melody
my muse went off to go **** my demons
but this writers block is killing me

I am looking around this car

at my mom

my sister

my father

and no matter how much I complain

I am realizing how much I really love my family

I'm sorry I'm awake right now
I fully regret all of my actions that lead me here
Pacing through my room at 2 or 3 in the morning
Worrying about a girl that doesn't love me
A test I'm not gonna pass
And a God I'm not sure is real anymore
I fully regret being gay
Being an abomination
A stain on this precious earth
I regret getting drunk
Having ***
Getting high
I regret the lies
But most of all I regret the pain
The struggle I put myself and others through
I regret who I was
Who I am
And whatever pile of disappointment  I  will turn out to be
I regret writing this to you
But I wanted to say I'm sorrowful
Because of what I've done to you
And what I will do

I'm really sad right now
But I have no reason to be

Im really anxious right now
And I have no reason to be

Im really craving her right now
And I have no reason to be

I'm alive right now
And I have no reason to be

What would I do without your smart mouth
drawing me in and you kicking me out
got my head spinning
no kidding
I can't pin you down
my heads under water
but I'm breathing fine
your crazy
and I'm out of my mind
cuz all of me
loves all of you
loves your curves and all your edges
all your perfect imperfections
give your all to me
I'll give my all to you

The sun is rising

the clock is ticking

but you still lay your head like a lamb on a cloud

peacfully

almost as if the. Ti
time  passing. Means  nothing to you

which is ridiculous because you can't  ever be late

but you prove me wrong because right now

you are peaceful

You have to kiss a lot of frogs

until one finally turns into your prince

Just hold on I'm coming home
Sorry I couldn't pick up the phone
I know I shouldn't of left her alone
Mom do you think I don't know
I'm sorry what do you want me to do
Yes mom I'm running
No I'm not crying it's hard for me to breathe
Yes I know she left you mom
She left me too
I know it's all my faults she's gone
What do you want me to do
I can't bring her back
I'm almost home
It won't be long
Wait for me cut the cake
For my sister who is *gone