When im thinking of leaving
thinking ending my life
considering stopping the cycle that is my demise
people like to tell me that if i leave
I will hurt everyone around me
my parents
my siblings
my teachers
my bullies
and that is why im still living
not for me
but not to hurt you
so i live a life of pain
constant suffering
not ending the fact that i am im hurting
because if i stop dieing
than you will die right after me
and i would rather live in this hell
than escape and put you in my place

To be in a crowd
and still feel alone
to be so lonely in your own presence no amount of people can change it
not knowing who you are
feeling comfort in scars
but not even that last long
so you end up running
running from the loneliness your own presence brings
into painful things
that's why you end up
b  r  e  a  k  i  n  g
to be alone
is the beginning
of the end

I feel like a broken old doll
in other words somone prize possession
that isn't that prized anymore
maybe im not quite enough anymore
im just a broken old doll
i broke when you threw me away
my soul is starting to decay
my sanity was the only thing you decided to keep
the only thing you stole from me
broken
old
doll
*and i am nothing more

thoughts are unattainable
you try and reach but you're hands are empty
faster than lightning
as invisible as air
thoughts more powerful than a tidal wave
destroying towns with its sneaky ways
promising you life is not ok
when your still breathing
convincing you your dead
but your still surving
blinding you from joy
you. stills can't see
because thoughts are uncontrollable
and they destroy nations
and no matter what you're thoughts tell you
you can't  change them

depression stole my identity
than it took its place driving its claws into my soul
filled me with the feeling of being empty
ever since i was a child it had a hold on me
i want to get better
but if depression leaves who will i be
im sorry im not quite ready to be no one
im not quite ready to lose all that's left of me
i know it's hurting me
but it is me
if you understand what im saying
than you know it's harder to let it leave
because when it dug it claws in my soul
i started to hold its hands
believe the lies it told me
believe it's all i am
so it's not that simple
to just let my pain go
it's all i know

Im not a poet
because when lives are on the line
i can't twist words to say what i mean
im not a poet
love is a foreign term too me
i still can't use metaphor too display how i feel when he's with me
im not a poet
all the words i have ever spoken
ive thought a thousand times over
there's too many words i have left lieing on my lips
im not a poet
self expression is still an alien weird to me
how can i express myself when i don't know who I am
im not a poet
and yet
*im still here

Waiting for my prince charming
the man my parents promised would love me
would slay a dragon just to see me
would actually want to kiss me
I am waiting for the person who will light up my day
my happy ever after
I waiting for the amazing man to take my breathe away
im waiting
waiting
am i to late?
did i miss the section of the story that said you have to send photos
to get your prince charming to notice you
did i miss the update
the ball that i was invited to is called instagram
and the likes increase your chances of meeting that man
the more skin you show the more followers you get
the more likes
the more kisses
Prince charming has shown his true colors
His love has to be earned
and I will earn it
I will stop waiting
and start doing
I will scream love me
till somone decides to do it
the life of a teenage girl consist of two words
***** it
either said from her
to her
or about her
you see we have a choice
either wait
or dont
both ways we are *******
*(literally)