it's been a year I've though about doing it again
i'm trying not to think about it
it's been four years since my dad hit me
it didn't even hurt
but you know what they say
it's the thought that counts
i hate trying to speak when no one is listening
every time i say something
all you hear is a whistling
that's my father trying to find anything wrong
like when i told him i couldn't write a song
for the church i do everything for
i saw the look of despair
and from that day on
it was like i wasn't even there
i did an experiment
when i was 11
i would wait until everyone went downstairs
and i wanted to see who would notice first
but what once was an experiment
turned into something more
ever since i stopped
i found myself wanting more
and for now it's just a thought
but i wanna go back
**i really do
i almost made myself throw up at church yesterday (it was a family fit thing) the only reason i didn't was because there were people near the bathroom