If and when I can't shed tears, and
It happens now and then,
Through the years
That clear and harmless way to feed
Your bitter sodium pain to the floor
Nothing shed but flows instead
Through this pen I bleed
The ink might as well be red, it is
Black,
As my suffering,
As the ducts in the corners of my
Eyes so dry
But meaningless letters scratched onto blank slates
Are formed into shapes crafted only because of You
My wounded soul seeps through this
Ball point knife I removed from my back
You did it again, as well I knew You would

As my cold air lungs collapse
My last frozen breath escapes my lips
I lay here dying all alone
Calling out to the falling snow

These winter woods are now my home
A bed of ice upon the ground
Myself a ghost to forever roam
Not a soul for miles around
I won't be found

The frigid frost is a blanket for my feelings
I've become numb to the bone
At first an uncomfortable chill
I've lost the ability to feel anything
This arctic atmosphere kills
I am coming toward comatose

My frame now rooted turned to stone
My hands are rigid and lifeless
My icy eyes are glazed and glaring
My being paralyzed by this piercing place

It's biting down and penetrating
Cutting with bitter precision
My condition desolate and dismal

A final shiver forbidding
One last winter whimper
As senses fail I fall
Buried by the blessed blizzard
A sacred silence ensues

Insatiably You inhale my every remark,
Swallowing each phrase as a personal token for Your own validity
The words bathe in benevolence and the
Sorrow of your guts and lungs;
Churning round, changing from light to dark-
Until You
Regurgitate them maliciously, coming up through Your throat, bypassing every past lump once resting there
Soaring past Your teeth, they grab hold of a few incisors while sailing toward me with a clatter
Chewing straight through me

Insufflate adulation, emanate malevolence

There's a gun in Your hand
O son of the sun
That hushes Your voice and
Cheapens Your words
There's a gun in Your head
O sun of the son
That blinds Your vision and
Deafens Your ears
There's a gun at my heart
O son of the sun
With a gentle squeeze
You trigger my ache
Give me the gun,
O sun of the son
For it is my turn to aim

Why would I ever venture to guess
That you would be willing to meet me halfway?
My empty attempts are wasted endeavors
I give it my best shot
In pursuit of mutual presence
A hesitant undertaking that
Solicits the same solidarity I strive to stifle
I know I'm a hindering burden that
Overloads you like a snow covered tree
Still clinging on to its leaves
Never letting them go until they're
Weighed down and overloaded
A strain crack break
Brings it down in a thunderous sound
To handshake the ground
I am a huge hassle that hugs his hostile self
Grabbing his own handful heart
Holding it in the air as a sign to declare
Sorry for the inconvenience
I've been rocked goodbye
The wind didn't blow
It was snow that broke me
The bow never budged
It was the entire tree that plummeted
A swift fall to bring my cradle and all
Crashing so you no longer have to sit

A-L-I-B I know you lie to me
I-R-O-N-I see things quite clear
L-I-A are you still there?
N-U-M be all that you can be 

I see those lies in your eyes,
I despise It insults my intelligence, and,
I watch your pupils they dilate with
Each word you exaggerate,
Fabricate 

I don't ever want to see you again 
I try and I tried but maybe we can't be 
Friends
And I'm addicted to the way you 
Pretend
That everything is alright, when I know 
Different

What greater gift could be given to me
Than that of a canvas staring blankly
Awaiting it's first brushstroke
In a flash a slash of color across its face

This potential has been placed before me
Like a puzzle piece from my memory
I will fill this void with my living energy
I will compose music for your eyes to see
I will write poetry for your heart to read visually

The power in my hands to put pigment upon paper
To portray a picture that depicts my inner nature
It's a purely creative endeavor

I pour myself into the paint
Each masterpiece contains part of me

In harmonious rhythm
I stain to stimulate
I dye to add drama
I shade to give grace

With an acrylic aesthetic
A cosmetic elegance
An oil overlay
A washing watercolor
The media is mine to design
Each line to represent my life

My gallery tells a story
Ever changing and growing
Forever framing and flowing
To draft love in a sensitive showing
Of my true self in painting

I come from a breed that has a mom but needs a mother, that has a heart but needs a spark to jump start its beat, that has eyes that can't see you unless your being shines brightly, that has legs that walk for miles on end, that has knees that buckle and bend when it's too hard to stand, that has arms made to hug friends, that has hands formed to take hold of the wind and grasp it, that has ears that burn from politics, that has a mouth that moves mountains and a voice that wants nothing more than to say I love you and then prove it. I come from all that

Hannah decided to have a heartwarming party
After all home is where the heart is
So she invited anyone with lungs that breathe
To come share the warming air

She typed up a flier that read:

I welcome you all to see
The moon meet the sun
Cover charge: one body handshake

The drug for this evening will be hugs
I've heard if you have too many or
Squeeze too hard you can
Overdose on love
But we will take our chances

Bring a friend or
Better yet an enemy

Show them that the
Night can dance with the day
It will dawn on them at dusk

This won't be one of those
BYOB affairs
More like bring your own everything
So we all can play emotional musical chairs

Smiles are free
Surrounded by such company
So be sure to RSVP
Even though walk ins are always accepted
It would make me so happy
To know you're coming! :)

It seems like no matter which direction I walk
The sun is always following my right shoulder
I guess that's why it's darker
More brown burnt and
Redder than the other
The skin is more sensitive on that scar when I took a digger
Too drunk to stand or forgive myself
Too dumb to live so
I put myself on a shelf
High above your happiness and
Smiles and
Wealth and
Fun

So much higher

But not better

if there is any truth to
time healing all things
then how many years does it take to coagulate this pain and
dry it up with a scar there to remain so
I will have forgiven but
never forgotten
what it was that happened?

It's been hundreds of hours and
millions of minutes and
countless seconds since but
regardless it's still vivid

the colors are brighter
the sounds louder
the struggle longer and
the guilt greater

there were long stretches where
I completely forgot
I put a band aid over it that
matched my skin and
it blended in so well
until the edges start to
turn red from the
open wound beneath
that flows steadily and
it all comes flooding back to me
a plague upon my memory

maybe at one point
this sore was getting better but
like a little kid I picked at the scab and
any progress that was made
was all lost and
I'm right back where I started with ****** elbows and
scraped knees
just
remembering
remembering
remembering

so I can't wait for this
blister to birth me a scar
it will be a defect on my actions and
a blemish that drives my motions
flaws hurt but they show the world why sometimes beauty comes as a slash across your entire life and

I find it attractive

You should not judge me by my cover,
Because I'm an open book
You won't be able to read me in one sitting,
Or see me in a single look
The pages torn around the edges
Words are worn from weathered eyes
But newer chapters ever changing
Are living life within these lines
Breathing
There are parts that can be painful,
Those paragraphs are most important
This current section could seem stressful,
I carry with me no regret
It may be strange to start in the middle,
There's no better time than now
I'll fill You in on sections passed, what you've missed, true and honest
Just ask and I will tell You anything You wish to know
So what do You say, care to read a good story?
Or better yet, play a part in this plot for me, and I for You
It's one that ebbs and flows, and never ends, and perhaps, You can be a character in
Would You like to help me finish writing it?

Since Your soul was sad and
Longed for me
My goal in life will forever be
To open Your eyes to
See Your beauty

Your wings will spread and
Take fairy flight
You are a perfect pixie in the night
You dance with the wind
As a butterfly kite and
Waltz with the moon
By his lunar light

Playful and impish
Your smile breaks the sorrow
We no longer must wish
For a happier tomorrow
We are together today

The magic in me comes from the
Power in She
Her supernatural spirit
Fills me with energy
A kind before I'd never conceived

She is a safe siren for me
That has intervened and
Showed me an entirely
Surreal state of being
So much so I question my sanity

Each morning awakened by Your face
A golden glow that fills my empty space
I will know I'm not crazy when I say
We were formed as corresponding shapes
Together as one We were carved from clay
[sorry Ben gibbard ;) <3]

Separated before but joined at last
Our future is now and
We forgive Our pasts
We will take it as lessons and shadows cast
Our presence together is infinite and vast

I am the sun and
You are the moon
In a constant chase
Keeping you on the move
If you slow the race and
Let me catch up with you
I promise to bring
Us something brand new

Do you believe and trust that it's true?
That I can Your super glue
Keep You from breaking apart when You're blue
Hold You together like
Wood and screws at
Your splitting seams

You are the rafters and
Beams above me
My comfort and
Structure resounding
A beautiful building of safety
Surrounding my love
Creating shelter and serenity

You are my sweetie
My darling
My baby
When You hear this my dear
I am hoping that maybe
You will open your arms and
Embrace these feelings
You are the aura
With which I want to be

I can remember growing up in my car
That year of not so sweet sixteen
As my line of sight aligned with my knuckles and
Further to the cyclops viewfinder windshield
That showed me the world through its
Cracks of heat expansion and cold contraction

I remember getting ice cream with a girl once and
Realizing that high school never was one of Baskin Robbins 32 flavors
Maybe that's why I never bought into it or liked the taste
Feeling it to be a waste of time

I remember driving by the school
Bright and early in morning
Deciding today was not my day and I'm not going
Because I was always too cool
Or more accurately too foolish to see the point of it all

I remember drug filled days passing by in a daze slowly but surely
But in my mind they drift by like a cigarette drag in my memory
Subsequently with each inhale and exhale

I remember the day I chose to walk the halls like a ghost and
Make as little impact as I possible
As far as I'm concerned I was fairly successful

I remember not knowing what it meant to be a sophomore
Only that as the pain progressed I was beginning to feel more and more soft

It's hard being the ****** in the vehicle
It's a vicious vessel to handle

Four grades in a classroom
Three years in my backseat
Two days in jail
One life to live

When I was sixteen
I wish this wasn't the future
Now it's my past

It's not so easy to see yourself
As a single second in a minute
A fleeting moment
A fraction of movement

It doesn't help that every minute
Is contained within an hour
Twenty four to bring you
An opening and closure

One hour in a day
Consists of sixty minute men
Marching silently
In the shelter of many more

A day drifts by title less
A chunk of driftwood in a
Tidal wave of insignificance
Though they culminate in months

They come in dozens
Empty egg cartons
Wishing we could all be bakers
To add another extra annual memory

A year in youth
Lasts longer than
Your favorite pair of shoes

A lifetime is lived
In the people we embrace and
Inside the presence we give

Our minds write with a pendulum
Rocking back and forth
With intangible wisdom

A seismograph epitaph
Incomplete heartbeat
Static electro pulse
Failing

Once upon a time in spring
While red roses aroused in flowering
A seed was planted
A prime source for
A coming fount of love

What better time than now?
For Our roots to rise upward
As We become entangled
Twisting to break free from the ground
Hatching the stem to bring Us to light

We arise to the welcoming sun
Standing before the lake below
Our senses tingling in anticipation
Of the emotion before Us

To find love We must begin
To take the plunge
So take my hand
We'll jump the cliff and
Wake the water and
Submerse Ourselves in each other

Now lust has commenced and
We've birthed Our commitment
With each rejuvenating gesture
As companions We climb closer
To the surface of Our desire

Soon summer sighs
As We lock eyes laying in the grass
A vibrance of color surrounds
A resounding chorus of nature and laughter all around

The sun can hide behind the clouds
Because Your smile shines
Eventually the heat will break that shroud
But not now

We have saved the daylight
Sealing each moment with Our lips
We are the finest development
Of what it feels to find perfection

Or so We both thought
With Our bodies in a bind
Our future is what We had and fought for
We are beauty prior to decline

The breeze is blowing through Our sentiment
A crisp bite of a coming closing cold
We still held on tight to it

But we sank and resurfaced and
Burned Our adoration unknown
Of the fast fall

Autumn sets in
Bringing an aura that hangs
As the harvest yields nothing for Us

Our hearts remain aligned
But restlessness runs through the back of Our minds
We couldn't foresee Our experience would have consequence
We moved too quick while jumping to conclusions

When We're in need
The speed of living only happens at one pace
With a chance meeting
We are now reaping what We've sown

If We could have seen the repercussions
That would inevitably sprout from that seed
Would We return to our lonely buried discussions?
Be sure to never allow results like these again

Instead Our memories cling to the trees
With each leaf falling one by one
Every kiss and embrace suffocating the earth
The temperature spirals steadily downward

The first winter frost befalls Us
The flakes descending to
Freeze Our feelings in time

We follow fate
We decline

Drifting away
Drowning in Our decay
Of snow and ice that
Finally took the life and
Left Us alone again

Our dreary adversity was over
In cold inertia
We are still in the night

Spring showers fed budding love
Summer gave time to grow
But in autumn it seemed appropriate We'd fall and
Hit a weeping winter wall

These patterns repeat
Maybe We rushed and
Shouldn't have hurried

We dove so deep into We
It worked well periodically
But We were suffocating

Our eyes began wandering
Our questions and thoughts
Recurring

Was it worth it?
A yearlong parallel of the weather
We parted ways in frigid fashion
But there's always another new coming season

So as the sky now sprinkles it's mist
The scent of soil rises to replenish
I carve a bed into this ground once more and
Wait for the next shower
To bring me a mate with whom I can share this flower

As You lay in slumber
I ask You to always remember
The man from December

The one who has written words for You for years
The one who has You scrawled across his heart
The shining sun searching for his moon
Chasing You

As You awake at dawn
I ask You to never forget We belong
To each other

The cracks in Our souls filled
The love in Our limbs finally allowed to live
The missing pieces of Our minds replaced and
Mended once again

As You go about Your day
I ask You to know that You are ok
You no longer need to be afraid ;
You never did

Beneath Your wings I am a gentle wind
Arms around You We are safe
Hands upon You with love to send
Heart within You devoid of hate

As dusk falls
I ask You to recall
The man whose soul You share

It was not stolen
It is not robbery
You are not a thief
I gladly give it to You
You have restored my belief
In everything

As the night creeps in
I ask You to begin again
Believing and trusting in me

Because the adoration You see
Is really Yourself
You are the wealth that I have won
You are the beauty and
The divine reason
Together anything can happen

You are the moon and
I am the sun
Joined at last
In unison

In your slaughterhouse solitude
You've butchered rationale from your mind
It seems reason just doesn't want to rhyme with your life
You've hacked away at happiness
Left nothing for it to cling to

Now sinking into sadness
You're trying to find what that can bring you
It's depressing
The damage a meat cleaver can do to your head
Along with the other rattle brained cattle
Aligned and angry
A silent herd
Longing to be heard by anyone

The belt moves and
The blood thickens
The inevitable inches closer
A steel rod to bring you closure
Cut you off from this
Cold world exposure

But you can reverse this
Even though you've rehearsed this
In your heart of hearts you know
Your conscience speaks
Don't do this
Jump off and
Hit that emergency stop button
It's bright red you can't miss it
Put there as a lifeline to
Dismiss your pain
A backup escape so that you can convey
Your true desire to live

In this motionless state
Breathe
Don't think about me or
Anyone else
Only yourself
The hurt has halted and
You've hopped off that ****** train
You will not be slain from anguish
Instead allow the clarity to
Carve itself within you

This modern world is just too much for me
Everywhere I look it's:
Fight or flight;
**** and flee
Pure and honest talent dehumanized by
Technology
Black and white;
Opressed and free
True and genuine love faked and flaunted and
Forgotten
Kiss and tell;
**** and flee
This modern world is just too much for me

I have these moments of brilliance clouded with a perpetuation of
vague remembrance and
a constant feeling of forgetfulness. Like consciousness is great
or terrible and
the memory is tenfold and
the story is tenfold more and
the compound of this equation equals extreme overload or
precise under load,
both of which arrive at the same verdict.

She shook the earth
Standing still with an expression
A smile
Not of happiness or joy
But of sorrow
A perplexing fixation of
Flexed muscles that would
Shock anyone
The comfort of
Contradicting emotion is
Hard to explain and
Harder yet to show the world
But I feel Her
I live Her
She's my inner girl

It's one of the saddest songs I've ever heard and
Even when I write words to try to change it
It crashes like a schizophrenic bird
Thinking this circle is magical
A twist coming round and round and back again
Then smashing into windows

A child was looking out of a window
It was bring your blank to work day
So he was clearly bored as ****
Mom typing rapid fire
Introducing him to people he could give a **** about

But then he saw a bird
What was it about this bird?
The airplane angle it had
The intent to take the structure down
Kid flipped the **** out and said
'Mom look!'

Mother takes a sip of water
Turns her attention to the world
To realize she's about to die
The crazy bird is a flight
Taking flight into a building
Reverse Legos

September eleventh was a minus sign
Doesn't only happen to us though

Have you ever felt
The weight of the world crashing
Down upon your hopes?

I have never felt
The speed of the Earth turning,
Twisting up my thoughts

I have only felt
The depth of my mind racing
For understanding

If life is a building
With infinite floors
We are on the same level
Behind the same door

If love is a book
With every single name
We are right beside each other
On the same page

We are corresponding wavelengths Synchronized swimmers
Through the sea of dreams

We were radio static in a storm
Until we turned each other's dials and
Tuned in to one another

Beneath Us We will plant Our seeds
Letting roots flow together from Our feet
Above Us there is room to grow
Our limbs will stretch for all to know
We are one, and
We have won

We will lay bricks
As stable foundation
Become masters of masonry
Without building a wall between
Us

You will no longer ache
With anger in Your bones
You will not feel so weak
Or scared and alone
We will not let these monsters
Rest inside You
Only to escape and
Paint Your face red with streaks

If We are crying
It's because We are overcome by happiness and
It's overwhelming and
We are overjoyed and
Other positive 'over' words
We will always be each other's
Shoulders to soak

We are a simultaneous song
Sung by sirens
To draw Us into one another
Chanting and charming Our souls

Thank the temptress
For showing me a goddess
I was a sinking ship
Waving flags of distress
Until I was brought to
The beauty of You

Your heavenly body
Heart beating beside me
My majestic marvelous moon

Love,
The Sun

I rewound the memory
A minds eye film of my heart on fire
One of my favorites to replay

I see it frame by frame
As if I were pressing pause repeatedly
Aflame from friction
I can feel the heat fill the air
The sparks lick my imagination
Surrounding with its love and conviction

I've always been afraid to hit fast forward
Watch my passion swiftly burn and extinguish
Leaving behind my ashen anguish

But this time my feline curiosity gets the best of me and
Suddenly I'm seeing the amber glow
Grow at double speed
Getting brighter and brighter
As the seconds keep accelerating

The warm ember a beacon
Illuminating our kindled future
Proving my worries wrong

Instead of dimming and losing life
My heart will be hotter ignited
Each moment we are together
Beside each other
Alive

I thought my heart would explode if I saw You
But then I did, and I didn't even miss You
We caught a glance, and I barely recognized You and
For a moment, our romance was never true

You gave the look that You give to every passerby
I stood frozen feeling fear that I'd start asking why
We didn't last, didn't work, didn't work out
Instead that glimpse replenished me with promise, no doubt

In my mind and in my heart and in the now I know this
We're so much different when together and We didn't notice
We'd slowly surely grow apart from what We thought We wanted
We need no one to justify ourselves but always counted

On each other to provide the pieces that were missing
But truth be told, We were whole, and only reminiscing
On love that's passed, We moved too fast and ended in disaster
You poked and prodded, burned and bothered, You became my master

You kept me going but were slowing down my sense of safety
The wounds kept healing but the scars remain to tell the story
Of a boy and girl who fell in love and planned to marry
Through thick and thin they'd be together until they were buried

But sure enough You did your worst and I just couldn't take it
I packed my bags and left and moved ahead without a ticket
Didn't know where I was going but it didn't matter
Hoping that I had escaped before my heart had shattered

When things get bad and sometimes  worse I tend to think of You
Your mental image branded on me (and within me) but it isn't true
That calling You and running back will help, I doubt You've changed
I can't forgive You, though I want to, so it's here I'll stay

It's been so long, I'm moving on and since I've found another
It isn't perfect, doesn't need to be we have each other
We aren't like we were and we both agree that we'll have battles
But in the end we will be fine when all the dust has settled :)

Melanie heard a knock at the door
Unaccustomed to visitors
She apprehensively answered said knock

Melanie heard a crash on the floor
Behind her her dinner lay face down
Black cat lapping up the mess

She screamed the same kind as damsels in distress
She wouldn't have minded so much
If she wasn't so ******* poor

Phantom kitty hungry gesture feed me
The stranger stood by and
Knocked again once more

Melanie coulda swore she heard a second knock
Looked at the clock ticking midnight
She tore open the door to find nothing

Melanie felt emptiness
Melanie saw the moon
Melanie knew she would be dead soon

You've seen everything through my pulse, and
Yet I've lost sight in this empty cavity
A hole, hollow and holistic
Wholehearted and devoid of warmth
As if to thaw on a bed of roses
It feels graceful, tragic,

Reflective of Being
The bane of empathy
The sting of truth and honesty
Respective of living, living;

Eventually You will be replaced
In this heart shaped hole in my chest
Wholeheartedly

Where are You going?
It's been so long headed nowhere
So will You call me when You get there?
Cause I can't follow You anymore

It's aimless when You're wandering
It leaves me helpless and wondering
If what I do will change anything
Because it's never aided Your suffering

Wouldn't it be great if my words were pills to alleviate?
If my syllables were a remedy to rebuild You to Your proper state
If each letter was water to rehydrate

But both of us know that there's no healing in prose
Unless You let the lines linger and see the significance they show and
Allow the implication of their meaning
To bring truth and understanding

But You never do